Was putting away the stockings and packing up the leftover Christmas bags, wrapping, ribbons and bows today…considered what we would want to keep and take with us to Costa Rica next year. What would we absolutely need there?
It was a bit overwhelming and yet exhilarating. For a split moment I thought about having a contingency box – stuff which we may need IF we were still here a year from now. It was only a split second. I told myself there was no place for doubt in my future reality. I chose exhilarating.
I am reminded of my brother’s advice. He explained to me when I first got married that “divorce” is a box which sits on the mantel. It is a reality which exists. However, as long as you leave it on the mantel, never pick it up, never open it, it remains where it is meant to remain. As soon as you start to pick it up and consider it as a possibility you are done for. You may stay married but you will never be as strongly committed as you were prior to picking up that box.
The same is so true of your dreams and doubt is the box sitting on the mantel in this analogy. Sure, doubt exists but we do not need to give it any power over our dream. As long as we don’t pick it up, consider it’s possibility it remains out of the equation.
We all can see it. We all believe this is where we are meant to be. There is a little girl out there waiting for us to be strong enough to take the leap so she can be part of our family. How can we disappoint ourselves or her?
In recalling my brothers advice I also recollected another mantel – in a refurbished pub outside of San Francisco. The mantel was engraved with Martin Luther Kings words “Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. There was no one there.”
Tonight was Pizza / Movie night. When we mentioned it to Greg he said “already”! How quickly a week off school can go. We rented the move “We Bought a Zoo” – a 2011 American family comedy-drama film loosely based on the 2008 memoir of the same name by Benjamin Mee. The film is directed by Cameron Crowe, and stars Matt Damon as Benjamin Mee, who purchases a dilapidated zoo with his family and takes on the challenge of preparing the zoo for its reopening to the public.
Loved the line “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”
Our decision for Costa Rica may have taken 20 seconds, and we recognize the rest takes a bit longer….but no doubts – something great IS coming of it! I was in the abyss and am now in the transformation of my Hero’s Journey. What a blast!