Received a phone call early this morning, just as we were getting Greg off to school; My mom had passed away, peacefully in my sisters arms, moments prior. While I had imagined how I would feel, I realized it was not until I was in the middle of this reality did I know how I felt.
My initial reaction was relief she was no longer in pain. Walter shared he had had a similar reaction when his mom passed only 39 days ago. The next thought was mom and I had had our special moments – no regrets. I found myself crying as there is now a piece of me that I will not be able to touch again (on this physical plane) but I recognize she now is able to look in on us from wherever she is (at least that is the philosophy I have chosen to embrace).
Given that there was sadness but comfort in my beliefs, I chose to treat my day with as much normalcy as possible. We had showings on the house scheduled – we tidied up and left. I had a therapeutic massage appointment – when I arrived I told Don “I needed this”. AND I did – I felt more grounded when I left. I went to the hospice and the family said our farewells. I worked on a report and sent it off. Reviewed a few websites for my part of the Master Key digital call. Went to a restaurant and ate appies and drank wine – while Walter and Greg picked up Mya from the kennel. Took time to think of mom. Hopped on the Digital Call with my fellow divas – these ladies were there for me! And lastly Walter and I reviewed 2 offers on the house, negotiated and then accepted one.
Hmmm… Is that what normal looks like?
We waited till Gregory came home from school to let him know about his Nana. He pouted for a few moments (translation – sad face). He then asked “Does this mean we have to go to another funeral?” Yes. I thought it may help – so I reminded him this time he would not have to look at a body as Nana chose to be cremated. He looked up at us and said “Like squished or burnt?” Squished?? “Yes (making a hand movement as if he were running his hand back and forth across a smooth surface) cream.” Ah! He as thinking “cream” cheese you spread! You gotta love how kid’s brains work out the results based upon their available knowledge.
Come to think of it, is this not what we all do? No matter what age we are? We make conclusions, after we interpret what is going on, based upon the knowledge we have at our disposal. This may be why we all grieve in our own unique way. We make decisions about death based upon our interpretation of our place in the universe as it relates to death.
I conclude that mom looked over us today, creating the perfect bidding situation between 2 buyers to allow us to sell our house this evening – for what we are all in agreement is a reasonable value. We are happy. The agents tell us the buyers are happy. This home will see more family happiness within it’s walls.
Thanks mom! Love you!
(Notice…the “Realtor” logo on her jacket!)