#250 again! LOL Turns out I missed #244 and had to go back and update the last few numbers. I looked at which date I oopsed and it was the day of the garage sale (a 3am start to that day!). This reminds me I am human and have the ability to err. “To err is human…to forgive is divine.”
Walter came home today from a week away at surgery – double hernia. While he was there, he wore his “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!” T shirt. Someone came up to him and pointed out that he could not possibly be ‘perfect’ – that only God was perfect.
Walter responded that since we are made in his image than we too are perfect. I suggested we could consider the question that if we are to “Be all that God intended us to be” then why would we not be considered perfect in all that He intended us to be? I run with this thought today because God is understood as being all forgiving – and therefore when WE forgive, we are acting in a similar manner and therefore in a divine way.
Tomorrow is my mom’s interment. Many many months ago she asked me to get along with my siblings. To forgive them any error I perceived they had done and to embrace them as ‘family’ – that I was missing out. I remember rolling my eyes and we agreed to disagree on this matter. So far my way of dealing with them have included total avoidance for about 3 years, acceptance during this past year’s interactions due to our mothers declining health, and most recently I find myself standing back and watching as they appear to jostle for their positions with the intent to ensure “equality” in the disbursement of her estate.
I am not perfect. They are not perfect. Assuming we are all being as God intended us to be AND If they are being something which I perceive to be out of sync with what I am being, then I have the choice to remain in their vicinity or remove myself.
I have seen other families who get along – and I would love to have this. I am just not sure it is even possible given the depth of our internal individual angst. I recognize that I am different from my siblings in what I deem to be important – and I acknowledge I do not comprehend their perspective. When I have tried to see if from their point of view all I feel is unease.
I will do what I have learned to do: Accept them for who they are; Recognize they are acting and being based upon what they know and believe to be true; and then I will do my best to find a way to forgive – both them AND myself. I will allow it to unfold.