We buried my mom’s urn today. On the way to the cemetery Walter stated neither he nor Gregory had ever been to this cemetery before. I thought back to my father’s funeral…it would be 25 years ago this July…and found I could not recall having been to the cemetery either. I asked my siblings and they confirmed, yes – we had gone to the cemetery for Dad. I remember the funeral home, the church service, sitting in the limo behind the hearse…but I do not recall the actual burying of my father at the cemetery. Interestingly though I somehow retained a visual on the approximate location of his burial plot…but have no recollection of how I would know this.
I will remember today though…but not as a day I said goodbye. The attendant offered us an opportunity to touch the urn and say goodbye before it was lowered into the ground. I did not feel any desire. I did not feel like I needed to say goodbye. It may be that I have adopted our son’s philosophy in that my mom is not lost to us – she is everywhere now.
At the funeral service back in March I read the poem “The Dash”. My mom’s best friend Diane was not in the country at that time. She spoke today and shared her personal perspectives on mom. She commented she likes to group everyone into one of 2 categories – those worthy of being introduced to the Queen (of England) and those not. She considered my mom fell into the first – and went onto use words to describe why. This was heartfelt. This was someone who saw the best that my mom offered this world. Another person to share how well my mom spent her dash.
“They” say that only a few of those around us actually make it to our funeral and then of those, only a smaller portion would go to the grave for the burial if it were raining. I am glad mom had a good turn out for both. Mom was loved. She remains loved. She is everywhere now – with a pieces left behind – one of them it seems, within me.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who are mothers! Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who have a mother! We are all connected. We are blessed.