I sit here, the night before we depart Canada and return to Costa Rica and wonder…Where do I belong?
Having spent a whirlwind two weeks in Canada, recognizing I was born and raised here, I do not feel like I belong here. The pace, the energy, do not jive with my inner space. I find the lights too much. The traffic too much. The hustle of the interaction with others too much. The underlying drive for more, without satisfaction for the most part, too much. This does not feel like home.
Now, this could be just the ‘city’ life which I have come back to. So I consider whether there could be other spaces within Canada. While I’ve travelled coast to coast and seen numerous cities, the larger the city, (it seems) the more hustle one must deal with. When I commuted to Calgary, I experienced a different overall perspective on life when communing with those who live there. And while I’ve visited other locations where life seemed simpler, sometimes this came with a daily life which was hard. It is highly possible that somewhere within Canada there is a space which would appeal to what I’m wanting to align myself with – however, I’m not sure it would offer all what I’ve experienced thus far in Costa Rica.
When I consider where we are heading to – the slower vibe, the underlying entrepreneurial spirit which seems to permeate many of the locals we’ve met, the energy of the wind, rain, air and water, the rhythm – it all resonates with me. While I’ve only been in Costa Rica a short while, it represents what I inherently feel is MY inner vibe.
I feel different going this time. I’m glad we were here. I’m looking forward to going home.