Had an email exchange with someone today. It was sent after a round of emails with a group of people involved in a particular discussion. Each was interpreting based upon their perspective…and unfortunately I felt inclined to participate. First Aha! – What WAS I thinking??
A few minutes after I sent my direct reply I reread what I had wrote and said aloud “She’ll probably take offence to what I said.” Walter responded “Exactly! It’s hers to take.” Second and more important Aha!
Deepak Chopra writes in The Law of “Karma” – The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.
“Whether you like it or not, everything that is happening at this moment is a result of the choices you’ve made in the past. unfortunately, a lot of us make choices unconsciously, and therefore we don’t think they are choices – and yet, they are.
If I were to insult you, you would most likely make the choice of being offended. If I were to pay you a compliment, you would most likely make the choice of being pleased or flattered. But think about it: it’s still a choice. I could offend you and I could insult you and you could make the choice of not being offended. I could pay you a compliment and you could make the choice of not letting that flatter you either. In other words most of us – even though we are infinite choice-makers – have become bundles of conditioned reflexes that are constantly being triggered by people and circumstances into predictable outcomes of behavior. These conditioned reflexes are like Pavlovian conditioning. Pavlov is famous for demonstrating that if you give a dog something to eat every time you ring a bell, soon the dog starts to salivate when you just ring the bell, because it has associated one stimulus for the other.
Most of us, as a result of conditioning, have repetitious and predicable responses to the stimuli in our environment. Our reactions seem to be automatically triggered by people and circumstances, and we forget that these are still choices that we are making in every moment of our existence. We are simply making these choices unconsciously.”
I did not mean offense by what I said. My response did however include my share (yep…it was an opinion) that one has the option to choose more wisely which battles are to be fought and which ones to let go of. Having lived my entire life challenged by my reactions based upon my conditioning, I now work daily to be aware and to take time to choose how I react. I recognize that by doing so I “allow” more often which then results in a happier space of mind and heart. I truly wish others could be aware of this. It may aid in a more positive and happier place for their mind and heart.