Tag Archives: Kindness

We Are Similar – DoWoo #350/365

presentGregory has a friend who is a bit older but is in the same class. The young boy’s father and Walter have connected – helping each other with the language differences.  This is the same young gentleman who came to the school and translated for us, who showed Walter where to purchase the school uniform and soccer shoes, who has invited Gregory to a surprise birthday party for Gregory’s friend.   We are so very grateful for all that he has done for us. 

Walter invited him over today for coffee and a visit.   We wish to be sensitive to the differences in culture here and asked what is typical for gift giving here.  He explained the main gift is the one the parents provide and the party, with the gifts being given by the friends who arrive, more of a token rather than a something which is big.  He explained the big part is having fun with his friends.  We reiterated this is how it was back home for Gregory so we understand. 

minecraft on tableWe also discussed electronics. He commented he prefers his children outside playing, exercising, rather than playing with electronics. We explained we have a similar philosophy and aim for balance – play time needs to be outside for at least 2 hours before having 1 hour of game time on the computer or Wii. We also encourage reading and there is time spent writing and sourcing phrases in Spanish to learn.  

similarHe shared a few of his dreams, his life here, his desires for his family.  What I observed is while we come from different cultures, different countries, speak a different language – when it all boils down, we are very similar.   

I look forward to learning the language more so I may converse with people such as this kind man – learning more about others dreams, their philosophies, their passions.   I may find more similarities. 

No Rear View Mirror! – DoWoo #253/365

2 suitecaseWe had explained to Gregory we were each aiming to have only 2 suitcases with us initially – and then a very limited amount of stuff was going into storage. When we go down in September we will decide whether we need to bring anything else with us. While Walter and I have done most of the sorting of our individual and household stuff, we’ve asked Gregory to be responsible for deciding what he will bring from his belongings.  I’ve shown him the size of container he is allowed to work with. He sorted.  Then we show him a slightly smaller container for specific things – and he sorted again.

Pokemon_cards-22/3 of one whole large bin ended up being Pokemon cards.  He had started collecting about 3 years ago, and worked hours in the yard to purchase more, spending holiday gift money on these cards.  All with the intended “goal” of collecting them all.  However, the company keeps coming up with new ones he explained…so he’s not sure how long it will take.

During his recent sort – he removed all the Pokemon cards into one pile and said he was giving them to his friend Anil.  He explained “they” were sharing and so Anil would just have them all unless Greg needed some and then Anil could share back.  Anil went home today with the ENTIRE collection from the last 3 years.

I mentioned my concern to Walter…what if he decided he wanted them again once we moved? Turns out our son has learned that it’s perfectly OK to move on – releasing these aspects in their totality. He now has a new “goal” which he plans to keep with him during our travels – to collect all the Geronimo Stilton books.  The good news is you can purchase these on your e-reader so they take up minimal space.

I recognize that I need to follow our son’s example.  While I have been releasing things, I’ve not been as good at the totality because I wonder “what if I need it??”.  Like “they” say about your clothes closet, if you haven’t worn it in the last year…toss it!  If I am planning to drive forward, I can’t be doing this while looking in the rear view mirror. 

Today I observed Gregory’s ability to NOT look in the rear view mirror.  Although he has a limited idea about what driving a car is all about – he certainly stays focused on moving forward.

rearview

Kind Words – DoWoo #239/365

behaviorI came across my school report cards during my sort – my dad saved all the way back to kindergarten – and read a few comments. I seemed to always like to be in the middle, involved, appreciated, recognized.  I have – apparently – always been someone who seeks attention.  LOL – go figure!!!

In the Master Key class we revisit what we were like when we were five – which then helps us identify our core motivation.  Identifying and aligning your vision with your core motivation allows you to fuel your dream to reality.  Very powerful! 

Turns out we are all some sort of combination (typically 3 or 4) of the 4 motivations.  My first core motivation turns out to be “intimacy” with my next, running a very close second, being “fun” (certainly explains a lot about me!!).  Turns out what my teacher wrote when I was 5 has remained within me – being what makes me “tick” for all these years.  

And….this got me to thinking….someone actually studied all this stuff and created a tool which helps anyone identify it and understand themselves better.  Way cool!

PREG

This evening we had the pleasure of spending time with the new owners of our home.  We had agreed to offer them first shot at all our stuff before the garage sale this Saturday. As first-time homeowners there are things you just don’t realize you need till you’re in that space.  Between Walter and I we have a lot of those spaces well covered!   We are honoured to be able to offer what we have to two such kind people.  Their enthusiasm about their upcoming journey here was joyous to behold. 

This couple has a dream.  This home has been our garden to grow the reality of our dream.  I am so very grateful to be passing it onto the next dreamers for their desire to be fulfilled.  

We were sitting at the table, chatting and waiting for the boys to wrap up their time in the shed (boys and their tools!) when this beautiful spirited young woman made reference to my spirit, commenting that I make her smile when she thinks of me.  Now this is what makes my day!  Her kind words of appreciation touched my heart.  As Gandhi said “be the change you want to see in the world.”  I want to be – and continue to be – the person she sees.  I truly believed in her kind words today.  It made me feel as I was meant to feel – fulfilled!   

 

Mastered My Emotions – DoWoo #188/365

This past week we commenced reading scroll VI (Og Mandino’s The Greatest Salesman in the World) WOW! It’s all about thoughts on how we are to ‘master’ our emotions.  Notice this is not being in ‘control’ but being the ‘master’ of. Significant difference.

download (10)download (11)Being in control of something means there is resistance.  

Being master of something should be effortless.

To take it even further, the Master Key Experience was timed (perfectly of course) to include techniques on how to turn thoughts of fear, guilt, anger, unworthiness and hurt feelings into tools meant to enhance our experience during this lifetime, to help us accomplish our dharma – all in the manner we were intended to do so (before the outside world and it’s BS – beef stroganoff – got a hold of us).

I have spent my entire life trying to ‘control’ my emotions – keep them in check – but they were always there! Now I find out that if we turn each of these draining emotion into a positive tool, or to take these feelings and attach a positive spin to it, not only are we able to master the feelings, we master the experience – allowing it to be what we want it to be.

My mother’s advise when I was a teen was to “please….please…find some kind of balance” since I was either really “high” (happy) or really “low” (sad, hurt, depressed, etc.). What did I do?  I blocked the emotions. I surppressed them.  Stomping them down into my core.

Was I able to control them? Yes.

Had I mastered them? Heck no!

Many, many years later = I reflect!  Today I did my mother proud – it was the “celebration of life” – her funeral service.  2 of my sisters and 1 brother chose to speak. I asked to speak last.  I had everyone close their eyes and imagine their life as a line between the year of their birth and their estimated death. I asked them to put an x where they were now, decide how many ‘seasons’ they had left – then asked “When is the best time to plant a tree?” 20…maybe 30 years ago? “When is the next best time?” Now!  Mom was like this – she did not wait to embrace whatever she wanted to do.  

I spoke clear. I spoke with conviction and belief.  I spoke from my heart.  I shared the Poem by Linda Ellis: The Dash.  I shared Walter’s observation – my mom did not plant a family tree…she planted a family forest.   Her ‘dash’ was filled with a plethora of love and support. 

The person who I was able to “be” today is due to having embraced the teachings from Mark J, Charles Haanel and Og Mandino.  Please allow me to share my perspective on a snippet from this months’ scroll (Courtesy of Og’s scroll IV): 

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To everyone else who has ever struggled…remember it IS possible to master your emotions. Do not allow anyone (including yourself) to take the highlights away from you. Experience your life today.  Plant another tree today!   

Hop on and enjoy the ride for all that it is worth.  We only get to be here, at this moment in time, as ourselves, once!  

Thank you for allowing me to share!
Please drop by again.
Carolynn Sokil

Disappearing Labels – DoWoo #175/365

images (1)48% – so close! so close!  I’m almost 1/2 way to reaching my goal. And since my lucky number is 8…well, then 4 is 1/2 of 8…did you follow all that?  Just doing my happy dance again!  

Met a new person today and sure enough he had just got back from – you guessed it – Costa Rica. By the time we are down there, we should have a good number of connections here and there. It’s a wonderful space to be in. 

I had a day filled with observing and participating in kind gestures. A lady in the aisle beside me chose to let the person behind her go in front.  I was buying de-icer salt at the hardware store and they only had one of the two 20kg bags I wanted to purchase – so they gave me two two 10kg bags for the same price as the 20kg bag.  I drove into 3 parking lots and each time I found a spot reasonably close to where I was going. I made Walter is coffee this morning and allowed him to sleep in.  I did the dishes before I made another mess cooking dinner. Walter finishes the floors. A scout dad drove Greg home from camp today. All in all a productive day filled with smiles and kindness. 

Imagine living each day like this…observing kindness and not having opinions about them? Now, that’s an interesting switch….observing something while not having an opinion…how does one recognize seeing kindness unless you’ve labeled it as kindness = but then, is that not an opinion unto itself?  

images (23)If I removed all opinions about an act which takes place between one person and another, then I would not have the ability to label it as anything…it would just be the act taking place. 

So if my objective here is to remove opinions and allow observations to rule, then all labels of actions would disappear – would they not? 

What do you think? 

 

Chicken Soup & Fluffy Snow – DoWoo #159/365

Who said Chicken Soup was good for the soul?

Chicken-Soup-for-the-Mothers-SoulI went to visit my mom on the way up to the resort this afternoon.  When I arrived one of the volunteers at the hospice was reading to her from “Chicken Soup for the Mothers’ Soul”.  The volunteer asked to finish the story, only 2 pages left, as she too wanted to know what would happen.

Mom thanked her for reading to her and she handed me the book. I asked mom whether she would like me to continue to read. I did so.  I read for about 45 minutes…numerous stories, all very poignant with many of them talking about death.  I kept getting choked up but mom did not seem to be with me…so I pressed on.  She drifted in and out of sleep, and then all of a sudden, just after I said aloud “Could these stories be any more heart wrenching?”, mom started getting choked up herself. I took her glasses off, passed her a tissue and she wiped her eyes as the tears rolled down.

Mom and I agreed that this was not the book we wanted to read.  An observation we can both feel better about.

I arrived at the resort 2 hours later, having driven through two areas with significant snow fall. The resort was covered with about 2 inches of fluffy snow. You know the kind you can just blow on and it moves out of the way.  It’s gorgeous.

20150206_210035Now…anyone who knows me, will confirm I am not a ‘winter’ person. However, if winter was like this for 3 months…I may have a slightly different position. It’s crisp out without being brutally cold.  A bit of winter exercise of any sort and you’d be feeling pretty comfortable in the cold.  The snow crunches under your boots when you walk, the silence of the cold night air making the sound more audible.

I am officially off grid other than my DoWoo. I look forward to awaking tomorrow and going for a walk in the morning.  I look forward to what I am able to create tomorrow.  You?

 

Reminder Day – DoWoo #157/365

OK I think today was a combination day.  A combination of so many of the “aha” messages I’ve written about thus far.  

Be kind to myself. 

Learn how to say no – and not overextend myself. 

Stop and allow what is going on to unfold as it is meant to. 

Choose happy.

MD_7_9a - Copie

Tackle the elephant one bite at a time.

Remember what you think about grows.

Be patient.

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Enjoy / Embrace now.

Focus

Have Faith

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These are all the messages I found I needed today.  And I’m sure if I stopped and gave it more thought there could be a few more.   I am grateful for all the reminders.   I will accept today as what it was.   Bottom line…in the words of my husband “today ends at midnight”.  Then I carry over into what my little man said at around 3 “tomorrow is the best day ever!”  May your day be bright and filled with love.  Today….tomorrow…always! 

Got a Hug? Anybody?? – DoWoo #136/365

1339573ddd366d_6f2c264d60a_oOK…so I need a hug!

I called a friend this afternoon and announced I needed a hug! She sent me a whopper over the phone lines – sound and all.  I admit I am in what feels like a very vulnerable space and there is a part of me which associates this space with needing to be hugged.  Why is that?

hugs_007Mark J wrote today about “Kindness is the key to the hug“.  This week we have been tasked with recognizing kindness in others and ourselves; offering kindness to others without any expectation of reciprocity and better yet, getting out there and doing RANDOM acts of kindness – allowing ourselves to rejoice in the act itself, knowing there will be no outside appreciation of, or for, our actions.   

rak8I started this week off by suggesting to our team to remember to “be kind to yourself”.  I reasoned the same way one cannot love others without loving ourselves – how can we be kind to others if we are not kind to ourselves?   THEN we take it a step further by RECOGNIZING in others virtues we wish to enhance and grow within ourselves….ultimately realizing that which we seek was within us all along. 

give_yourself_a_hug-277x300So getting back to the hug I said I needed.  If kindness is within me, and kindness is the key to the hug, then I should be able to hug myself…right?

It may not be the hug…possibly more about what that hug creates within us which radiates outward. Acts of kindness can create a chain reaction of kindness throughout our world, spreading a feeling of joy and abundance.  A hug given and received creates a unique kind of energy transfer, and since energy does not diminish it only transfers and continues to transfer, the chain reaction of the energy hug could possibly reach beyond what we know as our world.

I feel like I just gave myself a great big hug filled with all sorts of positive energy.  You? 

 

A Day of Connections – DoWoo# 135/365

Brain Wave Started my day trying a new meditation tool.  It was enough of a pleasant response that I signed up for the 30 day trial. The interesting thing I observed was the “give away” popups and side bars and capture pages….I now understand so much more about how all this digital connections stuff works.  

Was working through a few reports, calling and connecting with people when one gentleman and I just hit it off. He and I had to stop chit chatting and get back to the matter at hand. Wonderful professional with a human element – just my kind of connection. 

im possibleReceived a call back from the person at the Sports Club (yesterday’s post) and she ended up telling me she almost purchased property in Costa Rica 11 years ago and wants to follow us there. She then shared about her dad just being diagnosed with an incurable form of cancer. NOW why do Doctors say that?! I felt compelled to share a few areas of treatments which I have heard about recently with success – immediately emailing her with the details and sending blessings. 

Another Digital Connection from our class created an updated version of my side bar.  I am blessed for having received such kindness. 

ddAND then this evening I received notification of a new follower on Twitter – Digital Divas.  Hey…I thought Mark J coined that phrase for our group of Digital Connection Ladies.  When I saw who was following me, I received a loud smile and immediately followed them back, thanking them for reaching out to me. 

20150113_193742Lastly, I put aside my work and splayed Scrabble with our 9-1/2 year old.  We downloaded an app on my phone which allows you to plug in your idea of a possible word and it tells you whether it is valid and if validated, gives you the definition.  

Turns out we were learning English and Math while enjoying family time.  Walter came home and said we need to do this in Spanish next time.  Are there different tiles for that? 

A fun filled day most definitely.  I am so filled with love and happiness. Blessings to all! 

Stars Aligned…or Was it the Balls? – DoWoo #134/365

team-sport_1_0Not sure if these are specific developmental “opportunities” which are more prevalent when a child has no siblings but Walter and I have noticed a few areas where Gregory could benefit from some improved “team” interaction.  We discussed this just the other day. I thought…hmmm it’s the middle of winter…how do we get him involved in soccer (he loves) during winter..and then just last week he had tried out for the basketball team at school.

Today he comes home with his agenda and brings it into the office handing it to me with a yellow flyer on top which says “Free Basketball and Soccer One-Day Clinic”. Timing? The stars aligning? Or did we ‘Key’ this request?  

In reading this I was amazed at how they have positioned themselves DARE to LOVE Sports Club.  

dare“Our mission is to teach, inspire and encourage (TIE) our community to promote DARE: discipline, attitude, respect and effort through the spirit of sport; and encourage players to show LOVE at home: listen, obey and volunteer every day. DARE to LOVE.   

We produce good athletes and great citizens. 

We DARE. We LOVE. We TIE it altogether through sport. We DARE you to do the same.”

stars-alignSo not only did the stars align, the balls aligned with an environment inline with all that we aspire to inspire at home.  What an amazing promotional set of acronyms.  Not sure…I believe that may have been an opinion. OK – allow me to rephrase.  Through the use of a clever set of acronyms this club created a brand which is appealing to me.  

On tonight’s Digital Call for the Master Key we were honoured to have a powerful speaker share her story and provide social media guidance based upon her years of experience: Andrea Waltz. One of the areas which peaked my interest was her comment about ‘branding’. Walter and I chose “Loud Smiles” as the name of our Piano Bar about 10 years ago but since then everything remotely associated with creating our dream has been Loud Smiled, sometimes with our tag line twist of “We smile loudly!”  In considering these 3 acronyms I believe we could adopt some of their philosophies to our progression.   

Thank you for stopping by.  Remember to be KIND to yourself today! 

KEEP INSPIRING NEW DEVELOPMENTS within!

kind to you

Embrace Song Again – DoWoo #67/365

Generosity was experienced today.  I was given a last minute ticket to go see Sarah Mclachlan this evening.  I had just under 2 hours to wrap up work, eat, dress and leave for downtown. When I was in my seat at Massey Hall, it seemed a bit surreal.  A few hours ago I had no idea I would be doing what I was doing. I paused and asked myself: What is this meant to tell me?  

See I’ve come to realize that we truly need to pay attention.  Messages from the universe, our source, are all around us – telling us what we need to know. We just need to listen.  They are not always blatant and straight forward – sometimes they are unobtrusive.  

Without an answer coming to mind,  I sat back and allowed the ambiance to float through me. Enjoy the moment. 

The first song Sarah sang was called “In Your Shoes”.  I had not heard her new CD therefore did not know any of her new songs.  The lyrics to this one start with “You turn the radio on / Play your favorite song and cry (Cry)” and end with “You turn the radio on / Play your favorite song and sing out so loud“. 

I used to love singing along to Sarah, Nora Jones, Beth Orton and a few others. When did I stop? When did I loose touch with listening and singing.  It used to “pump me up”, feel empowered. Artists Create.  Others identify with their work.  Something resonates within them.  They “Feel” something.  Whatever they were meant to feel. And they now know someone else out there understands their situation – because here is a song which tells them what they need to hear.  

The song talks about “Time for you to walk out walk in your own shoes / Lay down your footprints wherever you choose / Say what’s on your mind with pride / ‘Cause you are your own woman.”

I embrace song again.  I am grateful for the person who shared the ticket.  I am grateful for Sarah Mclachlan with her amazing dharma. I am stepping out! Look out world…Here I come! This is most definitely an observation.  I will not muddy the waters by trying to identify and having an opinion.  I allow and embrace myself again.  Thank you.

James T Cricket – DoWoo #23/365

Walter found a cricket in our basement the other day.  He brought it upstairs to show me – excited that we could show our son this fantastic little creature when he arrived home from school. Then Walter decided we would put the cricket in a glass jar home to allow him to acclimate and see if we could keep him.

James TJames Tiberius Cricket as himself:

We looked up how to set up their space – ensuring there was a place to hide, a q-tip dipped in water to allow him to quench his thirst and something to nibble on.  He did not chrip that evening and we agreed we would give it a few days.  If he had not sang within 3 days we would release him back outside.

James T sang the evening of the 21st – the evening before the 3 days was up. Hurrah! He chirped all night long. The following evening James T began about 10 pm and was chirping till about 6 am the next morning  Greg was impressed at how loud he was.

We have decided to allow James to stay with us for as long as he desires.  We have not put a lid on the jar we have given him.  It’s totally up to him if he stays to sing to us each night. For now this is our experience.

Are crickets good luck? It depends on whether you believe in luck.  Are crickets a sign that good things are around the corner? Who knows.  I like the idea that James T has come to visit us for a while. It certainly makes for an interesting evening of song.

I.O.U. – DoWoo #6/365

Had lunch with a friend while her car was at the mechanics being checked out.  When I returned, I parked and was walking towards the shop when I spotted a Kirby vacuum cleaner in the window. It was sparkly clean with ALL the attachments in their spots along the top ring.  I was compelled to walk in.

images (99)Vacuums and parts everywhere! A wall of accessories and vacuum bags! Hey, I need vacuum bags!  My vacuum is a Tri-Star model, purchased in 1991 (purchased from a dear friend who was selling door to door), and not everyone carries the replacement bags.  Who would have thunk?  The Universe was certainly taking care of me today!

I chatted briefly with the owner and he pulled off the correct bags and handed them to me.  I walked to the counter and opened my purse, asking “You take debit?” He said “No.” I closed my wallet and said that I would need to come back . He asked me how much cash I did have?  I explained I had none (had just paid the cleaning lady the day before with all my cash – LOL).   He paused and then said “You can take them home and pay me later.”

unnamedHe then passed me a square piece of white paper – the size of a sticky note but not sticky – and said, “Just write me an I.O.U. for the bags.” As I wrote out the I.O.U with my name, my number and what I was taking home he said “Some people don’t come back but I know you will.”  I do not recall the last time I wrote an I.O.U. but it felt good to have that connection with a fellow human being I just met.  

What a kind and honest man. Blessings come to us…sometimes when we least expect them.  

I wonder…How did the Universe see me today?  I wonder if I got to be someone’s blessing? 

do wooI looking forward to being observant tomorrow! 

Thank you for stopping by! 

Please do so again (follow button below right) ….
and feel free to share how you were someone’s
blessing today.  I would really love to know!

Carolynn Sokil             @IDoWooDoU      

Dirty versus Clean Laundry – DoWoo #2/365

Went to my mom’s apartment this morning to accompany her to an appointment. Upon my arrival I noticed her bed had been stripped.  She mentioned the Personal Support Worker had left the dirty linen in the spare washroom. I opened the door and found the soiled linen folded neatly in a hamper.  I asked whether this was clean or dirty? She said dirty.

Folded-Clothes-1822623Hmmm – Why did she fold the dirty linens?  Why place them so neatly into the laundry hamper? Why did she not just put them in the washing machine? It would probably have taken less time than it took to fold them so neatly. 

THIS is not an example of a DoWoo.  

I definitely observed but then I had an opinion. 

Readjust! 

In putting everything through the laundry – 2 separate loads – I ran into another load which was in the dryer – dry but not yet removed.  I thought to myself, whatever the case is, this person should arrive to find their clean laundry in a good space. 

I pulled the clothes out of the laundry and folded everything: matching the socks and tucking them into themselves; buttoning the tops and then folding them like they do in the stores. I hoped the person was ok with me taking her laundry out of the dryer to use it. 

2014-09-02 22.34.26I came back about an hour later to find a florescent green sticky note stuck to the front of the dryer. It read: “Sorry for the inconvenience! But thanks for the super neat folding job. Ursula

DoWoo!
Daily Observations With Out Opinion!

Turns out my DoWoo worked well for the clean laundry…just not so well for the dirty. 

do wooLooking forward to practicing more tomorrow! 

Thank you for stopping by!

Please do so again….and remember to share how you DoWoo’d today. 

Carolynn Sokil             @IDoWooDoU