Tag Archives: Love

Time is Irrelevant When Humour Reigns – DoWoo #138/365

images (12)I received some sad news mid this week. The doctor in charge of my mom’s palliative care informed her, and us, she now has a very short time left. The phrase the doctor used is mom’s body is winding down.  So not being hungry, things not tasting good enough to want to eat, being tired and week all the time, and just wanting to sleep, are all signs the body is winding down.  Personally I haven’t heard this phrase but it seemed gentler…kinder, somehow.

marvins sisterUp till now, no matter how poorly my mom felt, she would rally. When she was diagnosed with cancer about 6 years ago at the age of 79, she went through a significant operation, months of chemotherapy and 26 rounds of radiation over a 5 week period – spending her 80th birthday fighting cancer. It was brutal to watch what it did to her.  I remember sharing my thoughts on visualization…recommending she imagine each time she was going through her treatment there was a little guy inside with a laser gun zapping all the cancer cells to dust.  Personally I pictured Marvin the Martian.

Less than a year ago she was told the cancer was back. She was surprised and disappointed as she figured she’d beaten the odds – they had given it a 5 year window – and she had almost reached that point. Her immediate direction to the doctor was to operate and take it out of her. While operating was not considered to be an option, they did try chemotherapy. This was too much for her body to handle and the treatment was stopped.

When the doctor told her a month ago she had months not years left, her comment was “I am going to live longer than that doctor thinks I am, I am going for another oxygen treatment”!  This is a woman who despite all odds continues to fight.

I’m schedule to drop over tomorrow morning.  I’ve been giving this much thought in the 2 days since we were informed. I cannot imagine what my mom is feeling. But I do recognize that this is not for me to be concerned with (remember what I wrote yesterday…accept the things I cannot change). What she feels, thinks, believes, imagines…they are all hers and hers alone. What I CAN offer is what I have always offered my mom – a daughter who tells it the way it is but somehow manages to put a twist of humour in – encouraging laughter whenever possible.

Humour_mouth

Human Toy – DoWoo #132/365

After I had “DoWoo’d” yesterday I explained to Walter that it may not be perceived as a huge observation but more of a consistent one…in how we interact and communicate with our son. Walter commented that not every DoWoo needs to be earth shattering.  It’s like baseball.  

dog hug

He explained that a baseball player who fails at hitting the ball 70% of the time is still considered a 300 hitter – which means they are ‘hall of fame’ material and multi-million dollar earners. When I chose to observe daily without opinion some days may be more of a hit then others…but I am most definitely hall of fame material! I am blessed and most grateful that I did whatever I did to deserve this man.

So today…I again was considering my daily observations when Walter and I sat down in front of the fire to chill before the boys came down to watch the movie. Mya, our 2 year old Belgian Malinois, decided she wanted Walter’s hand to pet or play with. This is something she does on a regular basis which amazes me. 

belgian_shepherd_malinois_13Now for those who are not familiar with a Belgian Malinois, they are a bread who (as per Wiki) are used as working dog for tasks including detection of odors such as explosives, accelerants (for arson investigation), and narcotics; tracking of humans for suspect apprehension in police work; and search and rescue missions. The U.S. Secret Service uses the breed to guard the grounds of the White House.

I bought my first dog when I was 16 and kept her at my friends house till her parents told me I had to pick her up (I managed about 3 months believe it or not – my parent had no idea). She ended up being given to a woman on a farm. The next dog I purchased was the only cute, large, slim dog, in the pet store which was NOT the Rottweiler my husband (ex) was looking at so interestingly – a Belgian Malinois. The breed was not something I had never heard of but I was hooked. That dog could clear a 3′ fence on command, clear a park bench from sit without touching it, would growl at anyone who approached me who he did not recognize, but was instantaneously courteous as soon as I touched their arm to “accept” them.  When we separated and he came back to take away his stuff, he went to give me a hug and the dog pulled him off of me – something I had not trained him to do…he just knew. 

So…when I wanted to get another dog for Gregory to grow up with, I wanted this breed. They are considered to be good with other dogs if socialized and good as a family pet, with kids (you got it) if socialized. We adopted Mya as a rescue at 8 months old. She had been malnourished and has a permanent eye infection which requires daily drops. However, for this breed she is THE most laid back, calm, affectionate, gentle dog the rescue group and I have ever seen.  She’s still a Mal but just nowhere near as driven as the breed typically is.  When we showed up to consider adopting her the person running the rescue operation said we were the right family for her (we had fostered for them before so they knew what we were all about).   We are blessed to have been in the right place, looking for the right dog and she was ours! What better dog for a young boy to have – one he can wrestle with, throw snow at, play tug or war (and not win) and yet a dog who keeps her teeth gentle as she grabs your hand in her mouth.  

Today I observed a gentle animal and her human toy!   No humans were injured in the making of this video (…or not much).  You can be the judge and leave a comment down below.  Thanks!

 

A Special Moment – DoWoo #118/365

medAfter lights were out for about half an hour, Gregory came down to the the family room to tell us he was having challenges going to sleep – he was relaxed but just not sleepy. Walter offered to do the relaxing meditation technique with him. He said yes and they headed upstairs.

When he came down about 15 minutes later Walter said they got to his chest before Gregory was asleep soundly. I asked Walter what he does exactly. He has explained it to me before but mostly in generalities.  I asked for details.

Walter first asks him to get comfortable. Positioning his legs and arms and body in a way that once he goes to sleep he won’t move – so a relaxing pose in anticipation of going to sleep in that position. This maybe takes 1-2 minutes. Walter says “He’s good at this”.

He then takes the blanket and pulls it up and they start breathing. Deep breathes in through the nose and out through the mouth. He does about 5 to 10 of these – maybe 30 seconds. Walter repeats “He’s good at this.”

FotoliaZenRocksHe then starts at his toes…”they are feeling tingly and heavy, yet they are floating, totally relaxed.”  Without direction to Gregory Walter pauses before the next body part – quietly taking a deep breath in through his nose and then out through is mouth. Gregory breathes along with Walter. They do the ankles, the calves, the knees, working their way up the body with Walter pausing between each body part to breathe quietly but deeply.  He explains that as long as Gregory is awake he breathes along. However, once he is asleep he will not follow with the deep breathe. Walter completes 1 or 2 more body parts just to be sure and then they are done.

Walter said he enjoys this time with him. It’s their “thing”.  I totally get it. Gregory and I have our “thing” as well. It has changed as he has grown up.  One favourite “thing” was singing the Crazy Little Caterpillar book together. He would choose it for me to “read/sing” as his bedtime book whenever he felt I needed it – saying it was my favourite.  Ah, what he may not have realized…he is our favourite. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Life is a journey, not a destination.”  One of the promises Walter and I made when we talked about having children was that this would still be our ride and he or she would be along it. I had no idea then that the ride would become such a sweet one with our little man along with us.  I observe the joy parenting has given me – us.   A billion special moments one right after another. 

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Full Circle in a Really Nice Way – DoWoo #116/365

Started my day sleeping in!  YEAH! What a wonderful Christmas present to ourselves.  Gregory crawled in around 7:15 and after about 15 minutes asked if we could get up and go see the tree.  I asked him how he wanted to proceed. He said tree first and then stockings (family room downstairs). What about breakfast? Afterwards!

Love it!

One of the things I remember about Christmas morning as a kid…we were allowed to sneak a peek at the tree and the mounds of presents (can’t believe my mom did all that for the 7 of us!) but we had to have orange juice first, then we could have our stocking, then we would wait for everyone to do the samebefore we’d have breakfast AND THEN we’d gather around the tree and do the presents.  This was of course done in an orderly fashion with each person being given a present and then we waited our turn, watching what the others opened until it came to us. There was never paper flying or boxes being ripped open like you see in the movies. Not sure if this was due to my father’s Air Force background or the only way you could keep some semblance of order with 7 children.

So…I gave our son the choice this morning and we went to the tree. He immediately noticed all the boxes and bags and while I told him to go find what was under the tree addressed to him, he chose something for Mya from him first. Making sure she had her new toys to play with. He then methodically worked his way through each gift, delivering it to Walter or me or sitting down and opening anything with his name on it. While each was opened he waited and appreciated each gift for each person.

What was painful to me as a child is now precious to me as a parent.  I appreciate each and every moment as I know how truly blessed we are.

One of my siblings gave us an advent calendar filled with tea lights for each day. Another sibling’s present opened this morning was a serving tray which was absolutely perfect to display the candles for our Christmas dinner.  I hope your day was just as magically beautiful to you.  Sending you warm hugs from our house to yours! May love brighten your way.

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Deductive Reasoning – DoWoo #99/365

inductive-vs-deductive-reasoningqw.gifHad a number of interesting observations over the the last few days which involved our son Greg.  Now for those of you who have followed this journey there have been a number of my observations writings not being directly my own but observed and appreciated through our 9 year old’s perspective on life. Please allow me to share. 

We were out on Saturday picking up our Christmas tree when Greg pipes up and says out of the blue “When we move to Costa Rica, will we be taking our cars with us?”  No, we would not be. “Can we give one to Anil’s mom?”  Anil is Greg’s best friend for almost a full year now. Mostly inseparable in school and yet still requiring as much bonding time on the weekends as the parents can handle. His mom does not have a vehicle so anything they do must be walking. We called her about the weekend and took time to explain that when she gets her license Greg wants to give her our vehicle when we leave for Costa Rica.  How generous is that?!! 

broThen the very next day, after he and Anil had spent an entire afternoon playing on their electronic games, we were in the car after I had picked him up when he said “Anil and I are going to be brothers-in-law.” Oh? How is that? “When we grow up, Anil will have a girl or boy and then I will grown up and have the other and then they can get married and we will be brother-in-laws.”  How inventive is that?! 

Five-Guys-logoWe stopped to get fries from “5 Guys Burgers” to go with our homemade burger (LOL!). While we are waiting at the counter, Greg looks up from his peanut eating and says “I think there are at least 2 men in the back.” The back? Did you see someone go back there? “No. There are 3 men working out here so there must be 2 in the back.”  I complimented him on his deductive reasoning.   I chuckled for hours over that one! 

5xThis evening Walter and Greg were in the family room: Greg reading. Walter had asked him to go upstairs to get ready for bed. After a number of stall tactics, Walter asked him “Why do I have to tell you things 5 times before you do it?”  

Does that bring back memories of when you were a kid?
I can actually hear my father saying this to me!! 

Greg turned to his father and said, “I know a way you don’t have to tell me 5 times.”  To which Walter waved him upwards asking him to go get ready and then he could come back down. Upon Greg’s return Walter encouraged him to share his idea on what we were to do so we did not have to tell him 5 times to do something. Greg promptly answered “Have patience.” He stood there with a look of “duh” because it just made so much sense to him.    

Walter then said “That’s great but I also know another way that you can keep me from having to tell you 5 times.” to which Greg ask “How’s that?” “Do it after I tell you the first time.” “Oh” he says and then adds “Patience is still good.”

99I dedicate this blog to my son and my father.  The son who turned 9 this past summer and my father who would have been 99 if he were still with us.  One of the things I shared with my father – his teaching and me adopting and now me teaching and Greg adopting – was the power of deductive reasoning. Something we encourage at all times. Even when it results in the reflective mirror being held up in front of us.

I am most grateful.

Today’s Circle of Life! – DoWoo #91/365

Today was a sad day for our son. His last fish started exhibiting signs he may not be with us for much longer.  6 years ago we had turned his bedroom into a “Nemo” theme room for a surprise and then Santa brought him a fish tank that Christmas so he could have his first pet. He was 3-1/2 at that time.  When we went to the fish store we explained he could pick whatever type of fish he wanted from the fresh water section. He chose an Albino Shark.  

finding_nemo_bruce_aquarium_backgroundAnd wait for it…he named the shark… BRUCE!  

“FIsh Are Friends Not Food!” 

There were others: Another shark he named Coco (?) and 3 barbs he named A, B and C. You could tell which ones they were by their size – A being smallest, B a bit larger and C the largest.  Unfortunately the others died (some after being nibbled on by Bruce we believe).  Bruce has been a loner for about 4 out of the 6 years we’ve had him.  

It was an interesting experience to watch how our 9 year old deal with this possible news. At first he kept going back into the room to keep Bruce company. After a bit he asked if we had any cardboard he could use to make a head stone for when we bury him outside – beside Jimmy the cricket’s stone and our previous dog urn. 

We’ve added treated water and adjusted the tank to maximize his comfort. You never know – Bruce (shown below) may rally and continue on with us a bit longer. We’re routing for him!  

BruceThank you for allowing me to share today’s observation of the Circle of Life. We are all blessed.

The “Other” Heart – DoWoo #82/365

poghnvqfk81azzoDo you remember being little and doing whatever you could possibly do to extend going to bed? Not brushing your teeth so you got to get up again. Needing more water. Forgetting to go to the bathroom. Needing to get your night time hug or cuddle in (again!).  Greg seems to be going through this type of routine right now.

bearhugThe other night Greg asked Walter for one more cuddle to which Walter explained that Gregory is always getting a cuddle because he (Walter) is always thinking about Gregory and envisioning the best of everything with lots of love. So he is constantly wrapped in a continuous all-day cuddle of love. 

two-hearts1Gregory called out to to Walter as he was leaving the bedroom and said: “There are 2 kinds of hearts.”  Whether this was delay tactic # 642 or not, it was good enough to have Walter walking back into Greg’s room. How is that?   “There is one heart which pumps your blood and another which gives all the love.”   Interesting DoWoo from our 9 year old.  

044-upanishads-meditation-on-the-door-keepers-vayu-and-the-heart-chakra1My carryover from Scroll I was:  

“As I repeat the words daily  they become a part of my active mind, but more important, they seep into my other mind, that mysterious source, which never sleeps, which creates my dreams and often makes me act in ways I do not comprehend.”

So…if we have 2 minds (the active and the other), we most certainly can have 2 hearts.  We just need to fill the other one with love so it seeps out into the world.  

How did you spread love today? 

 

Sharing is Caring – DoWoo #66/365

Last year Gregory won the “Caring” Award. 9 of the 10 months they provide an award for the month – a virtue which has been exemplified. 1 per class, out of 20-25 children, receive the award.  The award receipient’s photo and a copy of their certififcate get posted in the hall for the entire next month. Since his award we have heard the phrase “Sharing is Caring” many times. 

2014-11-05 19.29.53Tonight was Gregory’s first official evening to join the Cub Scouts.  He had gone 2 prior weeks to check it out. He said he wanted to join and he wanted to join prior to this coming weekend so he could march in the Remembrance Day Parade.  

thbramaleacrestcoaGreg was so serious. When they told them he had to stand at attention – he did.  

He then received his necker, and his first 3 badges (to be sewn on his shirt). The tag line on his scouting badge reads “Working & Sharing Together”.  Sharing is Caring. He’s in the right place – doing exactly what he wants to do.  Growing up is making choices.  

“Time Enough for Love” – DoWoo #60/365

Recently recalled a book read when I was in my late teens. A book I re-read at least 4 more times after that.  Time Enough for Love is written by Robert Heinlein.  Now, I wasn’t into science fiction – finding most authors of this genre to be too fanciful to entertain me. How could I enjoy something if I could not imagine it as a possible reality?  At least that was my limiting thinking back then.   

Robert A. Heinlein_1973_Time Enough For LoveI found Heinlein’s work fascinating.  It always seemed plausible. Even when it was “out there” somehow he made it seem to be reasonably, realistically, plausible.  This particular work, the first one of his novels I read, was about Lazarus Long. Born in 1912.  3rd generation in a wealthy man’s experiment to extend life by encouraging those with a history of long life to marry and procreate with those of a similar history of long life.  The theory to breed longer life genetically. 

It is 2,300 years later. Lazarus has gone back to his home planet to die.   He’s done. He has no further desire to do anything – especially again.  Nothing is new and he’s tired.  He is found close to death when, without his consent, he is partially rejuvenated.  His progeny want him to share his wisdom before he dies. He is the oldest person known being somehow related to the majority of many worlds population. 

Lazarus agrees to complete his rejuvenation if they can imagine something new – something he has never done before.  Then and only then will he agree to extend his life again. 

IMAGINE…being in a position where you have done everything…and mostly likely some things more than, once.  IMAGINE seeing it all.  Tasting it all.  Feeling it all.  Doing it all. Being it all.

How long would it take us?

Do you think 2,300 years would suffice?

If that is the case, do you really think someone who may live around 100 years (if we are lucky) should be spending our precious time being anything other than what we put here to be?   Sound like a good reason to embrace your future reality – your definite major purpose in life – now??

Would love to hear YOUR thoughts!

Serafina – DoWoo #36/365

Did not get to spend as much time as usual with my son this evening.  Luckily he was still slightly awake when I went into kiss him goodnight. 

He said “Mommy, Daddy asked me to remind him every day by asking him about Serafina.” Serafina is the name of our daughter, whispered to me during one of my contemplative sits by our source.  She is part our future reality we live and embrace now.  Interesting that Walter thought to ask our 9 year old to remind him daily of our dream.  Greg is VERY good at keeping us on track for whatever we ask of him.  

I asked: “Daddy spelled your sister’s name with a PH and I spelled it with an F. What do you think?” And in the wisdom indicative to children he replied “An F. It’s simpler.” 

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Chocolate or Fruit – DoWoo #35/365

I got to thinking of how blessed our son is, who at the age of 9 has 3 of his grandparents still around.  I had only 1 out of my 4 when I was little and that grandmother was gone when I was 5. My mom had lost her father when she was nine and my father had lost his mother when he was 5.  My husband did not meet his grandparents as his grandfathers died in the war and his grandmothers were back home in the Ukraine which he did not get to while they were alive.  

This evening I came across a picture of my husband, his sister and parents. Walter was maybe 1 or 2 years older than our son. His parents are now 71 years married (say it with me…WOW!) and his father just turned 92! 

I truly feel blessed to be a part of my husband’s family and I am beyond grateful my son has this opportunity to know his grandparents.  I then allow myself to embrace the vision of us being grandparents – being here to help with our grandchildren.  

The question which then comes to mind: When they come to visit, will I give them chocolate or fruit? I may wish to ponder this question for some time. Дуже дякую.   What would you do? 

sokil familya

 

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Mother Nature’s Stairs – DoWoo #21/365

kelsoWe went to Kelso Park yesterday for a hike – the family and the dog.  It’s an area of Ontario known as the Niagara Escarpment.

Upon our arrival the dog chose to share her mid day apple with Gregory’s lap – luckily he handled it well and we had a pair of pajama bottoms in the trunk he could swap out for his jeans which were no longer wearable. He commented his pjs were more comfortable! 

P9204055aWe hiked in about an hour and a half, stopping a few times to appreciate the scenery including a view of the Toronto skyline from over 60 km (or almost 40 miles) away.  We paused for a picnic under the tree canopy to which Gregory commented it was “great family time”.

We had stayed to our right the whole way in – picking up different trails in order to get to the edge of the escarpment. On the way back, I chose not to stay left at one point as I had observed on the way in an alternate path which was less steep.  Greg asked why we were not going the way we had come in. I pointed out the route in front of us would join up with the other at the top of the next rise, but that this path was easier to navigate than the rocky version we had climbed down earlier.

We started up the hill when Gregory noticed all the roots of the trees had created a stepping path which was indeed more easy to navigate. He exclaimed with enthusiasm “Look! Mother Nature’s Stairs”.

To top it off, when driving back home he commented that today was going down in his book as one of his best days.  I truly cherish our son’s ability to accept, adjust and move on.   The dog barf in his lap was forgotten in the joy of spending the day hiking in the woods with his family.

I dedicate this DoWoo to my two men who consistently provide numerous opportunity for inspiration and aspiration. 

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Gregory’s DoWoo – DoWoo #16/365

Last night Walter went in to tuck Greg in and said to “You are the best kid in the world”.   Now – just so you know – this is our regular routine.  Our philosophy is if we tell him, he will believe and then he will know and he will be.  

Gregory responded “And you are the best daddy in the world.  Mommy is the best mommy in the world.  Mya (his dog) is the best….” there was a significant pause here “…Mya in the world.”

MyaWhile Mya is sometimes a rather intense almost 2 year old Belgian Shepherd, she is doing the best she can with what she knows. Gregory recognized that she IS the best Mya!  

Are you being the best YOU?  

Gregory’s DoWoo from me to you! 

Adjust – DoWoo #13/365

317388-22319-1My husband and I are working on our communication styles – learning to actually speak to each other in a manner the other one responds positively to.  We love each other – we just don’t always communicate as well as we could.

So this new way allows the person speaking to recognize what is the best way to communicate with the receiver – a way which allows them to be receptive to the information being shared – speaking in a way the receiver understands and can assimilate. Very powerful stuff! 

BesidesA few of the aspects Walter and I learned early on in our relationship – do not hang wall paper together (this was left over from his previous relationship) and don’t try to work at the same computer at the same time (this was me).  We were working on a joint assignment this past evening. Walter and I chose to get out of the office (where we sit facing each other), sit in the dining room BESIDE each other and have both of our laptops open to the same page. We worked in tandem.  We were respectful of each others communication style.  We were jointly productive and successfully complete the task in record time. 

I observe I am able to adjust.  This time :o)