Tag Archives: Owning It

Mastered My Emotions – DoWoo #188/365

This past week we commenced reading scroll VI (Og Mandino’s The Greatest Salesman in the World) WOW! It’s all about thoughts on how we are to ‘master’ our emotions.  Notice this is not being in ‘control’ but being the ‘master’ of. Significant difference.

download (10)download (11)Being in control of something means there is resistance.  

Being master of something should be effortless.

To take it even further, the Master Key Experience was timed (perfectly of course) to include techniques on how to turn thoughts of fear, guilt, anger, unworthiness and hurt feelings into tools meant to enhance our experience during this lifetime, to help us accomplish our dharma – all in the manner we were intended to do so (before the outside world and it’s BS – beef stroganoff – got a hold of us).

I have spent my entire life trying to ‘control’ my emotions – keep them in check – but they were always there! Now I find out that if we turn each of these draining emotion into a positive tool, or to take these feelings and attach a positive spin to it, not only are we able to master the feelings, we master the experience – allowing it to be what we want it to be.

My mother’s advise when I was a teen was to “please….please…find some kind of balance” since I was either really “high” (happy) or really “low” (sad, hurt, depressed, etc.). What did I do?  I blocked the emotions. I surppressed them.  Stomping them down into my core.

Was I able to control them? Yes.

Had I mastered them? Heck no!

Many, many years later = I reflect!  Today I did my mother proud – it was the “celebration of life” – her funeral service.  2 of my sisters and 1 brother chose to speak. I asked to speak last.  I had everyone close their eyes and imagine their life as a line between the year of their birth and their estimated death. I asked them to put an x where they were now, decide how many ‘seasons’ they had left – then asked “When is the best time to plant a tree?” 20…maybe 30 years ago? “When is the next best time?” Now!  Mom was like this – she did not wait to embrace whatever she wanted to do.  

I spoke clear. I spoke with conviction and belief.  I spoke from my heart.  I shared the Poem by Linda Ellis: The Dash.  I shared Walter’s observation – my mom did not plant a family tree…she planted a family forest.   Her ‘dash’ was filled with a plethora of love and support. 

The person who I was able to “be” today is due to having embraced the teachings from Mark J, Charles Haanel and Og Mandino.  Please allow me to share my perspective on a snippet from this months’ scroll (Courtesy of Og’s scroll IV): 

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To everyone else who has ever struggled…remember it IS possible to master your emotions. Do not allow anyone (including yourself) to take the highlights away from you. Experience your life today.  Plant another tree today!   

Hop on and enjoy the ride for all that it is worth.  We only get to be here, at this moment in time, as ourselves, once!  

Thank you for allowing me to share!
Please drop by again.
Carolynn Sokil

Good Grief! – DoWoo #187/365

kubler_rossHad a bit of an epiphany today.  One of my siblings shared a link to the 7 stages of grief.  I ran through each of the 7 with Walter and realized, other than one aspect of stage 4 (Reflection), I had either already experienced each or they did not apply.   I’ve also reviewed the common Kübler Ross Grief Cycle – very similar overall. 

images (29)Why grief labeled in this manner? The same way “they” say each woman experiences pregnancy and labour differently – I can only imagine we would all experience the death of a loved one differently. So having labeled grief as being something one must work through – does this actually help us to grieve or does it create a directive for our brain to focus on and encourage it to manifest itself within us? 

in reviewing the stages of grief, Walter and I agreed that if someone died suddenly, unexpectedly – then we may need to work our way through the shock, pain, anger, depression… BUT what about when you know someone is “winding down” as my mom’s doctor described it? My mom was told about a year ago that her cancer was no longer in remission and shortly thereafter found out it could not be operated on and she was not strong enough to withstand the rigors of chemotherapy.  This is when my grief started.  This is when I started to realize my mom may not be with us for much longer. 

laughterPersonally I watched my mom fight through her own stages…including denial.  What I observed was very similar to what was noted for the griever. I personally had to remain true to who I was – hence I lent emotional and physical support where I could and lighthearted banter whenever I saw her. I made her laugh! 

Today we had a 3 hour window between the afternoon and evening visitation sessions for my mom.  During this time at home I turned to Walter and asked whether it was OK for me to not feel like I had to grieve – I felt good – I loved my mom and I will miss her…but I do not feel bad. He said he had experienced something very similar shortly after his mom’d death.  

We knew they were unwell. We knew they had a limited time with us. We knew they were in pain and were relieved when they no longer had to endure the pain.  We knew they would not want us to wallow – but to celebrate who they were here in this life.   This must be a good type of grief.  

With everything we have learned over the last few years, especially since having embraced the teachings of Mark J and the Master Key System by Charles Haanel, we know we have the ability to choose the emotions we wish to embrace and our subsequent actions.  

I choose good grief!  

Numerous Observations – DoWoo #185/365

images (2)Had a number of observations today. First – never…and I mean never…look at your phone for emails before getting out of bed. It is NOT the way to start the day!  

Next – I observed taking a daunting task and breaking it down into bite sized pieces to handle.  I used logic and process with a touch of heart – sorting through over 120 pictures and choosing only 50 for the funeral service.  I struggled until I broke it down into about 10 categories, sorted based upon the new criteria and then I chose.  It felt good to contribute.  

hunt_clipartI then observed that we truly do all deal with this differently – watching and listening to one of my brothers and one of my sisters when we met with the Reverend. All 3 of us had different ways of communicating our thoughts on mom.   

The next observation came when i was standing in the kitchen, looking outside – without really seeing anything.  I realized this world does not have the same energy signal – with my mom’s body no longer being infused.  It felt like a shift look place. 

wn_logo_verrekijker_squareI then stepped back and took a good long look at how I was dealing with things.  I was speaking with a friend who shared her husband had a similar experience with his family as I have with mine.  When his mother died he declared “My contract was with Mom. My contract is not with my siblings. Now that she’s gone, the contract is no longer in place.”  I truly love this.  It puts it into a different perspective for me.   

I recognized I was able to release feelings of disappointment and frustration within a shorter period of time.  My observation here was realizing I can make this less – it just takes time. And if I work on it – the time between feeling it and allowing it to be released from me – well, that will get shorter and shorter! 

observationI then recognized I am pleased my mom had my sister – who stayed by her side and held her as she died.  From what I can ascertain of who I am, the ability to do what she did for mom does not appear to be a part of me.  Or by having her available, I did not need to be this person. We may never know which it is.  

I experienced many emotions today:  anger at my siblings for being remiss to include all of us on one of the major planning sessions for moms service; recognition that they have their own individual coping capabilities;  negative emotion of any kind does me absolutely no good and additionally the person I have these feelings about – well, they have no clue – so what’s the point?; I am who I am and I do what feels right for me. As Walter stated this morning “Be kind to yourself; Seek only your own approval.” 

I am blessed to have such an understanding, wise and supportive husband – one who respects who I am, encourages me to shine with all that I am within, and who would willingly slay any dragon in my way – even if it was related!  He is my reality check, my filter and my reminder for what is important.  

Fun Filled – DoWoo #181/365

Had a fun filled day. The morning was mostly spent listening to the other speakers and gleaning aspects from their presentations to align mine in a way which complimented.  Must be honest, I still get nervous about speaking but I know this is normal and will only make me the best I can be.  

I had fun with it and the audience appeared engaged throughout.  The accolades afterwards were just what I needed to hear to set my mind at rest.  I had knocked it out of the ballpark infusing my delivery with enthusiasm, knowledge and fun! 

We enjoyed lunch and dinner together. It was refreshing to be among a group of like minded individuals who speak a similar language.  The energy fluctuated, for the most part, from good to exceptional. What a way to spend the day. I am blessed.

Was speaking with Courtney at dinner this evening about the difference between back when I was in corporate to now – she asked me if I was better off then or now?  

Interestingly, I immediately went to the financial part of being better off. However, upon considering this Courtney asked whether this would be financial or otherwise. I realized that although I may have had more money when working in corporate, I was in a much better space now – happier and more fulfilled.  

An amazing day overall. I look forward to nurturing the relationships planted this weekend.  

Truth – DoWoo #176/365

Am sitting here…exhausted. Ever have one of those days? It seems like I’m experiencing quite a number of these lately. I wonder why?  

Please keep in mind…I don’t drink coffee!    Could it be the:

thpacking
moving furniture

sorting
cleaning
working
coaching
guiding
webinars
calls
sourcing
my mom and her health
family meetings
accounting
our son
woman-pulling-hair-out_-Cartoon_shoveling ice and snow
connecting
blogging
tweeting
facebooking
contracts
reading
teaching
speaking
painting
designing
shopping
cooking
learning!!!!

Hmmm…I’m seeing a pattern here.  Maybe I should go read my post where Walter reminded me I need to learn how to say no.  I thought I had been saying no more recently but it just does not seem like there is any way around what I’ve currently got going on. It appears

I am committed!

straight-jacketNow…don’t take that in the sense I need a special jacket or room…but in the way that once I agree to do something, I follow through.  This is where I need to be careful as to how many things I say yes to, so that I have balance on what I can follow through on and maintain a semblance of personal sanity. 

Our exercise this week is to concentrate on Truth. “Try to realize that the Truth shall make you free, that is, nothing can permanently stand in the way of your perfect success when you learn to apply the scientifically correct thought, methods and principles.”

My “truth” at this moment is I must embrace more within from accessing more silence. I know this is an area I have allowed to slide.  I also recognize that without it, the above list can lead me to feeling overwhelmed and out of control.  

Have you ever felt that way?? 

I solemnly make a commitment to myself to embrace my silence in a more consistent manner. I know in doing so, I am the master of my fate, and have access to infinite strength to work with. 

Reconnect – DoWoo #174/365

28767714Walter and I were driving to dinner tonight – date night without a babysitter as Gregory is at camp! Woo Hoo!  Anyway, I commented on the traffic, and Walter did not listen to me.    I commented it was a good thing he had not listened to me as my observation was incorrect.  His response: 

“I do listen to you, I just make my own decisions.”

imagesWhoa! I like that!  It makes so much sense.  People DO listen and then they make the choice whether they wish to do anything with the information you shared, let it drift out like it was never there or possibly choose to comment on it for discussion. 

download (10)So…Walter and I had a great time chatting during dinner, we even asked Josh to slow down the service as it was timed so we did not have time to chill while eating, great fast hot food but we were in the zone to just be relaxed. He did a great job of readjusting the food schedule.  We talked philosophically liked we used to.  It was a glorious evening of reconnecting. 

it-was-my-pleasure-thumb you-are-welcomeWe had a great discussion at the end of our dinner with our server – Josh. We shared the philosophy of choosing to respond to the phrase “thank you” with either “you’re welcome” or “it is my pleasure” rather than “no problem” which gives the person who just thanked you two negatives words (even if they were not meant in that context – remember, words are the highest form of architecture). 

Josh listened and made his own decision. He chose to embrace the information we offered to share and he agreed to receive.  What I loved was his reaction to our interchange…he said he would love to pull up a chair and sit down and chat with us.  How kind! What a compliment.

 

Seeing Red or Red? – DoWoo #167/365

I wonder why people refer to “seeing red” when they are irritated or annoyed but then red heart shapes are considered to be the epitome of love.   I was told some time back when I was a teen (not sure by whom) that love and hate are very close to each other and sometimes one can switch quickly from one to the other regarding another person – ultimately recognizing that those we love can also be the ones who irritate or annoy us the most. 

Does anyone have an idea of what may have happened today?

Yep – that would be it.  Walter annoyed and irritated me. It’s a long story so I won’t elaborate. The good news is that by tomorrow, or the next day, it will most likely have all blown over, but tonight…well, its still pretty fresh. 

I remember the first time I really saw red – pure anger without any rational thought coexisting within my being.  Comparatively, today was about 1/10 of that moment I can so clearly recalled. I now hold the tools to use to adjust one emotion for another.  

The good news is that no matter what happens, no matter whether I annoy or Walter annoys, we are solid in our love.  Our souls recognized each other the moment we met in this lifetime. Walter is already planning for when we meet in the next.  This aspect of our relationship is one of the strategies I used to allow me to walk away from the red and start see the red – recognizing that in the end we are soul mates – we are love – we are us! 

I send blessings to everyone to recognize the love within and without. Recognize that you are love itself and embrace your gift to humanity.  Love is truly the answer!

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

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Make the Ride Count – DoWoo #165/365

I am continuously amazed by my little man.  There must be a slew of other parents out there who feel about their kids as Walter and I do about Gregory.  I want to find them.

Are YOU one of these parents??

mountainsidehospblog.shovelingsnowAs I’ve shared previously Gregory gets excited when it snows.  Snow means an opportunity to shovel. Which means $$ in his pocket. Which means he can purchase whatever he wants.  This week however he totally blew me away with his generosity.  

He has 2 key friends at school. The first is a boy whose parents split just over a year ago and his mom does not have much, if any, disposable income.  The other young boy is someone who recently moved to Canada as his dad is here on a work assignment for 10 months.  

xbGregory asked me to do a search on how much it would cost to purchase Minecraft for XBox 360.  I found this strange since we don’t have an XBox. When I told him it was about $20 he got excited and said he wants to get this for his friend. His first friend has a computer and watches videos of Minecraft but cannot play it as he does not have the program. However, his dad bought him the XBox for Christmas and this would work perfectly.  AND with Valentines Day coming up…Gregory explained he now has an occasion to give it for rather than just giving it.  

Toys-R-Us-Gift-CardTHEN he explains the $25 Toys R US gift card he got for Christmas he is going to give to his other friend so that he can buy a nice toy or game before he goes back to India.  

My heart is filled with love and gratitude that Gregory picked us to share his journey! 

This evening we are cuddling and chatting about stuff when I notice the light was flickering. Yeah, an opportunity to teach.  I explained that anytime a light is flickering, we should check into it.  It could be bad, a sign of something wrong with the bulb or the electrical wiring – so Walter would need to look into it to make sure we stay safe.  

He pipes up and says “Opposite of good”. Huh?  Gregory explains: “I use ‘opposite of good’ rather than saying ‘bad’, this way it’s less negative and more positive.” 

OK – that works! 

positive-vs-negativeWalter and I made a choice when we found out we were pregnant. We agreed this was still our ride until our child was old enough to have their own ride – and so they would be along for our ride wherever that may lead. AND secondly, once Gregory was born, we agreed we would do our best to make every day count.  

I’m observing…this ride I thought was ours is now OURS – all of us.  AND Gregory makes it easy for me to make each day count…he’s right there with us!   I’m reminded of the 3 words Walter and I chose for our wedding vows “I AM US”.  We certainly are. 

Positive Side of Chaos – DoWoo #163/365

I had a new mantra today.  “I love my chaos!” Getting a house ready to list is a unique experience unto itself.

welcome

Today I realized that I have never sold a house using a Realtor.  Now the interesting part is that I have helped hundreds, if not close to a thousand people, buy and sell houses all over North America but I’ve never done this with my house while using a “professional”.  It’s almost like an Obstetrician who has never had a child of their own. When (assuming we are talking about a female doctor) they get pregnant themselves…everything can be perceived differently.

For someone who once led a group of relocation real estate counselors in various locations around North America…this is a new experience – always a good thing even if it does involve some chaos (I’ll circle back to that shortly).  I’ve only owned 2 homes. The first I purchased in my late 20s with my mom as our real estate agent. When I sold that house I did it privately as by that point I had 5 years of real estate counselling under my belt and figured I knew enough. Ha!! 

Then I purchased this house from my brother – privately – and my brother purchased our mom’s house – privately – and she built (I got to help with the architectural design changes!).  By then my mom was mostly retired from real estate but between us we got all the paperwork done the way it needed to be be done.

So…now we’re selling and we’ve selected this very experienced team who are well versed in the area, know what the market is currently doing and have counselled us accordingly.  I’m doing my utmost to be a reasonable person and avoid being one of ‘those’ people.  You know the type…they are experienced in the field so think they know everything and don’t really listen using their experience because now it’s THEIR house we’re talking about and…well, they become an agents worst nightmare.    

originalSo…everything they’ve told us is advice I am fully aware of (and most of it I’ve given)…but now I need to TAKE it!   In the words I chose to share with our son – I need to suck it up! 

Hence the CHAOS! 

I’m not complaining in any way nor am I implying the team told us we had to do any of these things. They did however explain (again logic and totally understood factors based upon my experience) that if we wish to maximize the market appeal, and therefore increase the value of our home, there were things we could do. 

how-to-declutter-choices-collageWe knew we needed to “declutter” (one of those fun real estate buzz words which means get rid of all your personal crap). BUT removing 50% of the furniture in the house was a bit unexpected.  I get it though. Their phrase “less is more” is true.  You do NOT need to have a piece of furniture on every wall. Unfortunately we did! 

Picture6We knew we may need to “neutralize” the decor (again another buzz word for paint rooms something which does not stand out – allowing most people to like what you have). HOWEVER I did not anticipate painting the entire house.  Totally our choice as there were a few rooms we had originally agreed did not need to be painted but they did warn us that they may stick out – which they did.  So to coin another phrase “in for a penny, in for a pound”.  It makes the entire house fresh, bright and neutral and will maximize buyer appeal.

We now have a crawl space full of furniture and stuff; mostly not sorted as timing is now and sorting to move with only a small amount of stuff takes time.  We have some of our rooms starting to take shape but it’s still a bit upside down and 2 more rooms to paint before we can start finalizing the furniture placement. My office was my kitchen table today…which on the positive side allowed for a change of scenery and first dibs on the banana bread when it came out of the oven.   There is ALWAYS a positive side!  

This would be the Law of Substitution.

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The Law of Substitution is just one of the aspects covered in the

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Organized Chaos Solution? – DoWoo #158/365

Two words keep running through my mind the last few minutes as I pondered how to approach what I wish to write about today.  These two words are: 

Organized Chaos
controlling-chaos-header

What I had intended to write about was “Organized Solitude” but what kept coming out was the other. In thinking about what I meant by Organized Solitude – it’s more along the lines of “Self-Imposed Solitude” – which in a way is bit oxymoron-ish – like Organized Chaos. 

Chalk-boardSo…why am I pondering this?  Did you READ yesterday’s post??  It appears I have reached the proverbial wall and even my subconscious and my new blue print are conspiring to beat me over the head to tell me to chill!  I’ve given everything I have and now I need to decompress. I’ve always known I needed this. I just don’t always listen to myself till it’s at a critical state.  In hindsight it always seems like such a no-brainer…which I admit having missed. 

Marching-into-history-At-20-Energizer-Bunny-is-an-iconBeing a primary “blue” (intimacy) and a secondary “yellow” (fun) it’s easy to believe I could just keep going…something similar to the energizer bunny.   I need down time. Time to recharge my batteries and realign my psyche. Time to regroup and get back on track. 

Yesterday was a huge eye opener for me.  I allowed myself to get so over extended that I was no longer functioning in a manner conducive with my expectations for myself.  Getting back to #1 from yesterday…Be kind to myself! 

I am

I am going up north to a resort for the weekend.  I had signed up for a women’s retreat get away just over a month ago and was disappointed when I heard they were cancelling.  Rather than wallow in that particular feeling I chose to take matters into hand and requested whether I could still partake in the group rate for myself.  YES!! 

YEAH!  I have a room with a fireplace, logs included with the room, 5 meals from Friday to Sunday morning, a balcony and solitude if I wish it.  I wish it. 

6Am shutting off my phone. Am only turning on my computer to post my daily blog (a commitment I will maintain). Am turning my back on email. On facebook scrolling. On twitter sharing (just 3 days – I’ll be back!). On human interaction. On the craziness at our house in the midst of painting, decluttering, selling and working. On the busyness of everything that has transpired in the last two months with both of our families. 

Self-imposed solitude!  Not sure which core colour requires this to maintain sanity but I’m going to feed her this weekend.  I look forward to the creative results of my solitude. Will it be organized chaos or the cosmos unfolding as it is intended to.

 I’ll have to get back to you on that one. Stay tuned! 

Double Double Booked – DoWoo #146/365

Yesterday  I double double booked myself for noon today.  Walter reminds me that I tend to double book myself but this…well, I will let you decide….

  1. list_double_bookingsWe signed Gregory up for basketball camp – which finishes at 12 noon – and since Walter was at a business session all day, I needed to be there to pick him up. 
  2. I booked a hair appointment for 11:00 – knowing my hair dresser is usually delayed by at least 15 to 30 minutes – and it takes me 20 minutes to get to the basketball camp. 
  3. Confirmed with someone to have a web call at noon. 
  4. AND someone agreed to come look at my dining room set which is for sale at noon.

Yesterday when I realized all this – I sent a note to the person scheduled for the web call and rescheduled.  Then I text’d the person for the dining room set to confirm whether they could come at 12:30 instead. When I showed up at the hairdresser’s and she told me 10 minutes to wait, I explained I had already washed my hair to minimize time and then explained I needed to be out of the salon by 11:45 at the latest. We were done at 11:40, I picked up Gregory right on time and made it back home at 12:25 before the furniture viewing. 

Part way through this exercise Walter text’d me asking how my day was progressing.  I sent back a note saying I had made a list. 

The great news is I sold the dining room set, the bedroom set, a 4 tiered shelving unit, a piece of artwork and the silverware in a storage box.  

We also managed to squeeze in an errand which required driving downtown and back, going shopping and finding black dress shoes and a jacket for Gregory for Monday, have dinner together as a family, see a movie at the theatre and complete a good chunk of my business reporting required for Monday. 

Do I hear the word “productive”?

This is a man… – DoWoo #143/365

“We are drowning in information, while starving for wisdom. The world henceforth will be run by synthesizers, people able to put together the right information at the right time, think critically about it, and make important choices wisely.”  E. O. Wilson

alignedA man I aspire to be more aligned with as a human being was speaking on a web-call I was on this evening.  He shared the first sentence of the above quote.  I wrote it down. I had not heard this quote…or if I had, I had not retained having heard it.  It resonated with me though this evening. Then when I searched who had said it, I found the balance of the quote.  How appropriate.

neuschwanstein_bildI looked at this man…really looked at him as a whole, not just in the moment, and I saw a man with a vision. He was someone who knows family is his core base, has chosen to build a massive castle…with the interesting part is the castle he’s building is for everyone else to live in. 

This is a man who understands his energetic footprint and has chosen to share the tools he has developed to implement vision…not just towards the objective of his own vision…but share so that anyone can grasp their dream into existence. 

This is a man who originally reflected back to me a message to step it up and be true to myself. This reflection is now something I can hold up for myself.  This man has inspired me to recognize and accept what I see in the mirror without judgment (still working on this last one). 

john wooden quoteThis is a man who is changing the world for the better.  Not just “one small bite at a time” for that elephant in the room, we are ALL taking one small bite with him. And the next thing you know…poof, the elephant is gone!  We’ll leave the giraffe alone (inside joke for those who know him – and if you don’t get it – watch this). 

So…who is this man? 

Mark Januszewski

Mark is a man who puts together the right information at the right time, thinks critically about it, and makes important choices wisely.   

If you want to know how Mark does it? How you can get your hands on the tools to help YOU grasp your dream as your reality? Take the first step and register below for the next Master Key class – fall of 2015!  Then go here to read about people becoming heroes in their own life. 

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If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

The 2015 Master Key class commenced in the fall of 2015 

To be first on the list for the next class, please register now.

The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

OK OK I get it! – DoWoo #137/365

boatI was speaking to a friend earlier this week about her “AHA” moment when she told me about another thing – of being shown, reminded and then finally something had to fall on her head (literally) in order to make her realize she was being pointed towards a particular course of action. She referenced the story about God having sent a canoe, a Police boat and finally a service rescue helicopter. She had to finally get hit by something falling from the cupboard before she said to herself…OK, I get it. 

The same thing is what happened to me today. 

Yesterday, after having DoWoo’d about needing a hug, I sat with Walter in front of the fire for about an hour talking about a certain situation which had taken place: I had been on a call and said something which should not have been voiced…it was a negative comment. In replaying this situation in my mind, twisting it and turning it around in multiple ways…I became frustrated, then annoyed and eventually a bit ticked off. Mostly at myself but also a bit at him for not saving me from myself. This may not be rational…but it is where I went. 

Walter suggested I let it go.  It was done. I could do nothing to change it.  He explained I was dwelling on it and there are absolutely no benefits to doing this. I argued there was always benefit in review. You get to analyse and pick it apart to figure out how you could have handled it differently so you know how to handle it if it comes up again. 

Needless to say we came at this from 2 totally different perspectives. 

serentityAfter numerous bounces back and forth, I started to see a bit of clarity but was still fairly certain some part of my analysis of the situation was of benefit. This is when Walter asked me if understood the Serenity Prayer?  I started to recite each line, pausing to define in my own words the meaning of the sentence – giving examples. When we discussed the first part about “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”…he commented that what is in the past cannot be changed. I kind of got stuck there. 

So, if it is “grant me serenity to accept” = “the things I cannot change” (A = B) and “the past” = something which “cannot be changed” (C=B) THEN logically this translates into “grant me the serenity to accept” = “that I cannot change the past” (A=C).   Walter explained I cannot rewrite this particular prayer.

3Today I ran across numerous instances of other people finding themselves in similar situations, placing me in close proximity which led me to feel compelled to share my moment of clarity. The soccer coach’s 9 year old daughter who was dwelling on having said something to a friend and offending them.  The gentleman who shared he was having challenges with other’s level of service. The friend who coached me for 1.5 hours of consideration for my mom in her current state of her illness. The canoe. The Police boat. The service rescue helicopter.

Each time I shared the coaching I received the night before from Walter, I started to truly own this understanding.  

Tonight I logged on at 11:00 to DoWoo.  It is 1.15.15.  From Doreen Virtue’s Number Sequences From The Angels:  1’s and 5’s, such as 115, or 551 – Your thoughts are creating the changes in your life. Keep steering your thoughts in your desired direction. If the changes that you see forthcoming are not desired, you can stop or alter them by modifying your thoughts.

OK OK I get it!   

muchas

 

Got a Hug? Anybody?? – DoWoo #136/365

1339573ddd366d_6f2c264d60a_oOK…so I need a hug!

I called a friend this afternoon and announced I needed a hug! She sent me a whopper over the phone lines – sound and all.  I admit I am in what feels like a very vulnerable space and there is a part of me which associates this space with needing to be hugged.  Why is that?

hugs_007Mark J wrote today about “Kindness is the key to the hug“.  This week we have been tasked with recognizing kindness in others and ourselves; offering kindness to others without any expectation of reciprocity and better yet, getting out there and doing RANDOM acts of kindness – allowing ourselves to rejoice in the act itself, knowing there will be no outside appreciation of, or for, our actions.   

rak8I started this week off by suggesting to our team to remember to “be kind to yourself”.  I reasoned the same way one cannot love others without loving ourselves – how can we be kind to others if we are not kind to ourselves?   THEN we take it a step further by RECOGNIZING in others virtues we wish to enhance and grow within ourselves….ultimately realizing that which we seek was within us all along. 

give_yourself_a_hug-277x300So getting back to the hug I said I needed.  If kindness is within me, and kindness is the key to the hug, then I should be able to hug myself…right?

It may not be the hug…possibly more about what that hug creates within us which radiates outward. Acts of kindness can create a chain reaction of kindness throughout our world, spreading a feeling of joy and abundance.  A hug given and received creates a unique kind of energy transfer, and since energy does not diminish it only transfers and continues to transfer, the chain reaction of the energy hug could possibly reach beyond what we know as our world.

I feel like I just gave myself a great big hug filled with all sorts of positive energy.  You? 

 

5 Time’s a Charm – DoWoo #133/365

Today it is not about what to write about but more which aspect of today to write about. YEAH! 

images (11)Would it be about the fact that my almost 1/2 century body rebelled after I decided to join the kids going down the snow hill on a crazy carpet?  Or would it be about the kindness (our virtue for this weeks’ Franklin Makeover) exhibited by the other parent at the top of the hill when he offered to let my 2 charges go down on his fantastic sled? Or would it be about my son commenting at the dinner table we need to translate “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!” into Spanish for when we are living in Costa Rica?

Today was a day filled with numerous opportunities to observe without opinion but the start was the most challenging.  I’m sure someone out there may relate…

After my morning routine I opened up my laptop and typed in my Microsoft Password – to which it promptly told me it was incorrect.  I checked my caps lock, my #s and then tried again. OK…still not ‘correct’. I tried an alternative password thinking maybe I changed something online or Walter changed something when we got the new Microsoft Office package earlier this week. I even did what every good IT support person tells you to do when all else fails, I restarted my computer. All with no success.  

password is incorrect[4]I called our IT people. Thank goodness for 24-7 support. They said I would need to log onto the Microsoft site through another source and update my password. BUT when I did this using the message noted on my screen, this site did not exist.  Another call to IT support to get the correct site.  Tried it on Walter’s computer – this site does not exist! Turns out our internet was unstable. Tried it on my phone, using my carrier’s access not my WiFi, and was able to change it.

business-it-supportI logged on to my laptop using the new password and it still said incorrect.  I waited a few more minutes (figuring there may be a slight delay) and typed the new password again. SUCCESS!! Then called IT Support again.  I asked them to complete a system diagnostic to see what was going on – as I had not changed my password – so maybe there was something intrusive which had attached itself to my system. IT started doing this and then got kicked out because the internet went down. They tried to call me on my cell but I had forgotten to turn on my sound for the day!

When I came back to my office and found the message on my phone and my screen locked without internet.  I ended up having to restart my computer to get the internet connection again.  When I logging in using my new password I was told it was incorrect.  

serioud

Went through the whole new password reset with Microsoft. Called IT Support again (anyone keeping count?) and when I got connected, I was immediately disconnected.  Called in again and finally got someone to link up and review my computer. YEAH! 

download (6)This was not my observation…it was Walters.  He turned to me and said he was impressed. Why? Not too long ago, he explained, I would have thrown up my hands and arms in frustration and asked him to deal with IT Support.  I would not have even made the first call let alone 5.  He was correct – I have come a long way.  It’s still a journey though….as I’m nowhere near where I want to be.  However, today I realized I am certainly well on the road to being the me I envision. 

Two Additional Words – DoWoo #129/365

images (9)Attended a family meeting this evening with my siblings to talk about our mother’s health. Turns out I realized quite a number of things this evening. Some were observed in the moment and others were upon reflection. Please allow me to share:

  1. shutterstock_67691131-292x300I am still affected by my perception and interaction with my siblings.
  2. I  do not understand where they are coming from.
  3. AND they appear to have no clue where I am coming from.
  4. When I look at them I continue to see any challenges we have had between us in the past.
  5. I do not know how to forgive.

That last one…that’s the doozy!

Walter and I ended up with a HUGE discussion on the importance of forgiveness including the part about whatever you are feeling is totally on you – your responsibility – because no one can make another person feel anything – you can only allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling. I get the whole forgiveness part so I can be free of this negative emotion. I just don’t know HOW to do it.  So I understand it….but I have no clue how to truly put it into reality.  AND this does not appear to be one of those deals you can “fake it till you make it”.

does not exist

Walter kept telling me that “it does not exist”.  By recognizing it, you cause it to exist.  If I do not recognize it, give it any power by offering it my concentration, then it does not exist.  So whatever I need to concentrate on – other than that – is good and then it does not exist.

THIS is where I go a wee bit squirrelly.  Logically, I explained to him, whatever THAT is still exists. You’re just telling me to concentrate on something else…but it still exists…I  can’t fake that it does not exist by thinking about something else.  We went round and round in circles until two words changed it all.  He finally said….

It does not exist “for me”.

Whoa! Am I gaining a bit of clarity here? The jury is still out but I may be getting closer. So work with me here…

Since in my reality it does not matter if something exists for someone else…it only matters what exists for me.  AND if I do not acknowledge it in any way – completely. truly. honestly, wholeheartedly have no recognition of its existence…THEN it does not exist “for me”.

OK- So on that note I’m going to call it a night. I will ponder this further right before my sit – the time at night..just before you go to sleep, when your mind is open to new and interesting ways to observe something…and you just allow it to unfold.  Catch you on the flip side tomorrow.

 

“Read to Conquer not…” – DoWoo #125/365

Am going to fess up that there is one particular area I have recently let slide backwards onto the old blueprint big comfy couch. I had made a decision 3 years ago to only read if it were going to move me forward with my dream.  For 2.5 years I stuck to this philosophy and now have let it slide.  The couch IS really comfy!

tumblr_m6nmjsOILc1qc1u27o1_500

(If this picture annoys you as much as it annoyed me to watch when I found it and added here …then it’s a good representation of our old blueprint. Feel free to use it for yourself.)

Walter made the observation this evening and suggested I “read to conquer not escape”. Wow this really hit home. That’s exactly what I was doing…but I had looked at it differently. I knew I was ‘escaping‘ – justifying this (as that blueprint is really good at doing) saying the rest of the time I’m reading for business and I need a break (offset, small voice heard to say “an excuse is an excuse is an excuse”) .  AND when I did to go read the other stuff…the stuff which expands my mind and opens my heart to the pure potentiality of the world within and without…I did not consider it as conquering my dreams…I considered it to be more ‘required‘ reading – like back when we were in school.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer

I am certainly getting a lot of THIS particular message lately.
What do YOU think that means?

OK – so we had a bit of a situation today. I was having a cyclical-breakdown-hissy-fit (#CBHF), and Walter calmly spoke to me, attempting to get me to snap out of it and finally asked to read me The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success…The Law of Pure Potentiality; Deepak Chopra.

He read. I saw pictures. Pictures of what Deepak’s words meant to me.  I had to jump up and make notes so I could write about my thoughts later. I relaxed and allowed the words to surround me, encouraging comprehension through my visual interpretation. It was magical.

I got out of my funk AND I recognized what ‘reading to conquer’ looks like, feels like, is…compared to reading to escape. There is no comparison just polar differences in the world within and ultimately in the world without.

It appears I made good choices for my counsel…3 of them have already bopped me on the head today!

Branding & Stuffies – DoWoo #124/365

board-of-directorsWe had our Loud Smiles International BOD meeting. Gregory rolled in his desk chair from his room to our office. He came with small pieces of paper and a pen. He sat so proudly at the office desk beside  Walter all prepared to forge ahead with whatever was on the agenda.  

f196_lego_ultimate_building_set_partsFirst we explained what the purpose of the Board is – in that they determine the direction we take the business, how we do things, when we do things and where we do them.  His first question, said very seriously, was “So what exactly is Loud Smiles? Is it a restaurant? A bar? A business?” Walter explained branding – using Lego as the example.  First it was a building block toy, then it was made into games, then it was a movie…so it can be many things. 

Loud Smiles originated as the name of the piano bar Walter and I envisioned. Then we chose to call our registered business Loud Smiles International as these aspects will get us to where we have the bar.  Now it is a brand, representing our philosophy and our vision. The restaurant…well, that is something Gregory envisions for us. 

making-list-0808-lg-5041854We then made a list of things we will need to do before we can depart. Creating sections and subsections, discussing all the aspects of things we need to think about.  I showed him the various rental properties and explained the what it costs per month here to live in a house and what it will cost there to live in a house.  His eyes bugged as he has a good comprehension of money and #s (it’s his favourite subject besides art).  I also pointed out that it may not look like what we are used to here…the furniture, the walls, the kitchen…but that we will also have views which are totally different than here. 

We spoke about reducing what we have so we can travel lightly. He asked about saving stuff for his little sister…stuff he may not need anymore but that she may like.  He figures a few of his stuffies need to be saved and passed along as they cannot be replaced easily.  

Good-Attitude-Job-SearchHe listened well, raised his hand when he had something to say, added when he felt he had something to add, kept notes on what his ideas were as well as the key points he felt were of relevance and summarized these points to us at the end of our session. 

I observe: Our little man brought one key aspect to the meeting we did not ask to him to bring – a good attitude.  

 the master key experience

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

To be first on the list for the next class, register now. It’s your choice. 

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Virtual Mastermind – DoWoo #121/365

Was sourcing accommodation in our preferred Norther Region of Costa Rica and came across one home which showed this quote – “Live your dream – don’t dream your life.”  How very true! 

board-of-directorsThis evening I explained to Gregory we were having a meeting of the Loud Smiles International Board of Directors and he was invited as one of the board members.  He asked me what a board of directors was. I explained these are typically the people who have a say in the direction the company is taking – they are there to discuss and agree on action, timing and overall method. We would be discussing our plans for Costa Rica and we need his input.  He is excited and wanted to know what we would be discussing and what to bring.  

I mentioned I had gone online today to look at places we may rent and even sent an email to the rental group to inquire as to pet-friendly locations.  He nodded and smiled saying of course they have to allow dogs – Mya must be with us  I second that motion!

The great news is the location we are looking around has a good number of furnished homes to rent. The views are all magnificent. I am truly realizing that what is important is not what I have placed value on. I’ve always known family is important but now that we have a time frame, I see everything differently. 

Wayne Dyer stated “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”  

images (5)I used to be a shopaholic.  Actually I still probably am, I just have something else to focus on which steers me clear from shopping for things.  Every since the foot came down and we gave ourselves the definitive date, my shopping “self-talk” is quite different.  The wonderful thing about someone who likes to shop is they can pretty well talk themselves into anything, rationalizing any purchase. Recently, I find myself asking whether I really need to have this right now or is it more of a ‘nice-to-have’?  Is this something I don’t already have anything even remotely similar?  Will I be packing it up to take it with us to Costa Rica? If the answer is not an emphatic ‘yes’ to all of the above 3 questions, I keep walking.  It’s been quite liberating. 

bill.dan.balancing.rocks2So – by changing how I look at things – now everything needs to be immediately useful, uniquely required and important enough to be taken with us when we relocate….everything I see at the store looks so completely different. AMAZING! When looking at possible accommodation there, it is completely different to how I would look at accommodation here.  I AM BLESSED!

I realize we must look at our board of directors differently too.  We will be adding depth to our meeting tomorrow – inviting 5 others to fill the red chairs above. People who have a wealth of experience. They don’t pull any punches – telling us the rock solid truth, even when we may not want to hear it.  They will not only help us attain our vision but will keep us on track. They are our Virtual Mastermind.

Finish What You Start – DoWoo #113/365

Spent today finishing off something I had promised someone quite some time ago.  I originally offered to do something without setting any up front parameters.  When it was requested it turned out to entail quite a bit more work than I had anticipated…and to be honest…more than what I thought I was capable of. 

I procrastinated! I avoided! Neither of those actions are ever a good idea. Is THIS who I am? 

wallis_dance_musicnotesIn light of my ever evolving being, with the mantra of “Do It NOW!” playing in the background, I recently promised its completion in time for this holiday season.  Even then, the time required was ended up being more than I had anticipated and it was most certainly more of a challenge than anything else I had undertaken thus far. However, the great news is I finished it today! 

Happy Dance of Joy!

Was it fear of the challenge? Was it the immensity of the task? Was it…well, I could go on and on but the crux of it was I put it off. Once I did make a decision to get it done and set a time frame with a specific date (in writing) I got it done! 

elephantWhat I noticed in finishing it up today was by taking small tasks and getting each one done – rather than looking at the whole was HUGE.  I’ve done this with other things…and it’s a pretty famous way of accomplishing any large task – one bite at a time. 

At the end of this huge undertaking…which did not have to be perceived as hugely as it was…I have to ask myself what I observed. First: I don’t like how it feels within to avoid something. Second: Leaving something unfinished is lame! It is not who I am as a person – it is not who I am as a professional.  Lastly: Do It NOW! Seriously!