Tag Archives: Reflection

Outside-In vs Inside-In – DoWoo #171/365

download (7)Was chatting with a few friends this evening when a discussion arose about how children’s perceptions of their fathers (in a break up situation) can be quite different than those of the mother (the former wife). We discussed how sometimes a person may not notice something about someone until we are on the outside looking-in.  

Now this is not like my observations about the Franklin Makeover in reverse.  This is about the outside looking in versus the inside looking in.  Stay with me here.  It’s something you may recognize once I explain.

flat,550x550,075,f.u1 (1)Many of us know families who have experienced a dissolution of a marriage where children are involved. While I do have an ex husband, we did not have children (unless you count the dog which I told him was a non-negotiable part of our settlement – full custody to me).  I have however seen many break ups from the outside. But this is not the looking in I’m referring to here as in order to do that you must be part the equation – it is imperative to this observation. 

When one divorced parent experiences less than desirable “______” (fill in the blank) from the other divorced parent, they have a variety of options on how they may communicate their feelings about their “ex” to their children. From what I can imagine (and have witnessed) parents typically choose to do their best to remain as neutral about the other parent as possible, avoiding influencing their child’s perception of their other parent OR they can choose to explain what the other parent has done (obviously from their perspective) which may result in something of a slam session depending upon what prompted the dissolution.

I’ve witnessed mostly the first option with a slight caveat – in many cases the parent holds their opinions in front of the children but when the children are not within the immediate vicinity, they voice their perspective (usually not so nice) to others who will listen. 

Difference_Of_Opinion-BeeeaterThe one parent is on the outside looking in at the other parent, no longer connected by marriage…supposedly seeing them for who they are objectively.  While the child is on the inside looking in, seeing their parents from their own version of connection. This can result in a difference of opinion about the parent being viewed. 

While the “in” (the other parent) may be exhibiting the exact same character traits, doing the same things they’ve always done, treating everyone the same as usual, both parties (the parent and the child) see them from a different perspective – one being in and the other being out. 

So…what does this all mean? What do I observe from this interaction and review of our discussion this evening?  It’s all about perspective!   And our choice to choose love and who we love!

download (8)Now…even though I was not a product of a “divorce” my parents did not really get along. By the time I became old enough to be something other than a self-absorbed child (I believe this was around 8 or 9 years old) I recognized my parents were not like some of the other parents. While they were in the same house, they lived separate lives as much as possible.  They did not like each other. I spent my entire life either being on my mom’s side or my dad’s side.  Whoever’s side you were on would be slamming the other parent verbally. There was however, one slight reprieve. I recall having a good open line of communication with both parents at the same time for about 1 full year – I was 20 at the time. Unfortunately never to be repeated again. 

When I recall this aspect of my life, I realize that I was on the inside looking in at both of my parents – recognizing each of their characters, their idiosyncrasies.  Not sure who, if anyone, was on the outside in my situation. 

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you. – Wayne Dyer

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

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Makeover in Reverse? – DoWoo #169/365

images (22)Many of you may recognize the name Ben Franklin.  Back in 1726, at the age of 20, Benjamin Franklin created a system to develop his character.  Using a list of 13 virtues he tracked daily his observations of these virtues.  And in the words of a dear friend, one can only recognize something in someone else when we have it within ourselves.    We can use the Franklin method and choose any aspect of our character we wish to identify, magnify and multiply.  By Observing, Tracking and then Recognizing, we can create a ripple effect within ourselves to grow that which we concentrate on.  “Whatever we think about grows.” – Napoleon Hill. 

REVERSE ARROW_OCS ICON_86 x 81 blueToday I observed this process in what I can only describe as the Franklin makeover in reverse.  I recognized someone who does not see a particular character aspect within themselves AND interestingly they also do not recognize this same character aspect in another.  Allow me to try and elaborate without calling attention to anyone in particular as that is not what my writing today is about.  

In the first example – let’s consider that I personally wish to magnify kindness. By observing and then recognizing (while recording in order to track my progress), acts of kindness around me in my daily life, I begin to observe and recognize this same attribute within myself.  Then by seeing it within myself, I see it more in others and more in myself. Creating a wonderful cycle of positive growth. 

Hill also states “We refuse to believe that which we don’t understand.”  THIS is where the observation of Ben Franklin’s makeover IN REVERSE came into play. 

2811977537_e0699089abIf someone has no idea what kindness is, what kindness looks like, no point of reference, how can one recognize it in another? And if we cannot recognize that trait / virtue in another, how can we recognize it within ourselves?   So if we don’t understand it, then we will refuse to believe it exists.  

Walter reminded me that we cannot talk to someone about breaking out of jail if they have no idea they are even in jail.  If one does not know what a spider is how can one realize there is a spider in front of them (or right above them as the case may be)? 

We are each on our own journey of discovery.  Upon reflection, all I believe I can do for this person is to send them blessings of love as they pass through my orbit.

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see something different than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses. No obligation but so so much to potentially gain if you end up being rewarded a scholarship.

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The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

Keeping it Real – DoWoo #164/365

Was asked a question this evening “Do I always talk in the 3rd person?” I have to admit I did not understand the reference and although I had apparently just done this, I had no recollection or awareness that I had.  Makes me wonder how much of what we say is rote versus intentional.

Turns out this friend observed that whenever I related a story which involves my son, I talk in the 3rd party “Mommy” rather than “I”. I had to think hard to recognize this as truth and once I did, then I wondered why.

I asked Walter. He and I have an agreement we always tell the truth – even if we believe the answer may not please the other.  It keeps everything real.  Walter did not recall having noticed this. However, once I gave him the example of when I speak about Gregory, he ran it through a few times and then agreed I have done this. Not sure how often though. Figures it would not be often or he would have noticed.

So I googled  “What does it mean to refer yourself as a 3rd person ?” The answer “Illeism is the act of referring to oneself in the third person instead of first person and is considered a narcissistic behavior.” So then I googled “narcissistic” which means:

    extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
    self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.

I don’t know about you but this certainly made me take pause.  Do I really do this narcissistic behaviour? If yes…I so totally need to remove this habit from my blue print. In the words of Og, “I will form good habits and become their slave…For it is another of nature’s laws that only a habit can subdue another habit.”

I am now consciously aware of this, and have asked Walter to be aware along side me. We will catch if and when I do this and then BAM I will replace it with something else.  Not sure exactly what that something else is yet but knowing the diagnosis if I don’t replace it may be a good start.  

Will come back to you on this at another date.  

In the meantime, I’d like to ask you to CONSIDER how you may have taken this news? I’m still wrapping my head around how it feels to hear something like this about yourself.  I’m not freaking … but I did allow that pause.  Now I’m sitting here typing…knowing that anything, even this type of habit, can be altered with the power of my thoughts. I will deconstruct the habit and then construct the solution. 

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see something different than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses.  No obligation but so so much to potentially gain if you end up being rewarded a scholarship. 

the master key experience

The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

A Picture Is Worth One Word – DoWoo #156/365

If you’ve followed me for a bit you may have read that I sometimes sit down at the end of the day and have no idea what to write about and then something strikes.  I allow knowing it will come and I’m exceedingly grateful each time when it does.    Tonight I had 2 mini thoughts to share and then received the pièce de résistance.


What ONE word would you attach to this photo?

Walter had been gone all day to help out his dad with a few things.  I kicked my organizational ass into high gear and put all the stuff into the crawl space that I packed the last few days. Then I packed another 8 boxes and cleared out the majority of our kitchen – with most of the stuff not going with us.  Walter arrived home in time for supper. Afterwards he went to the cupboard looking for a particular bowl for desert and it was not there.  I explained that I had packed it.  He was surprised saying we use them all the time.

I responded that since I figure they were most likely not going with us to Costa Rica, we should get used to not having it now.  He thought this was quite humorous.    I’m still trying to figure out why.  Walter explained that this was a very round about way to get from point A to B.  I see it as a straight line but hey…those are based upon my synaptic thingies not his.  


What ONE word would you attach to this photo?

Then we were chatting by the fire when I told him about going to check out the local funeral home (as I was asked to for mum for comparison purposes). I explained it was nice enough but I found the decor overwhelmingly neutral.  Walter smiled quite loudly and said this was up there ‘positively negative’.   Do you think this could be the next big real estate term??  

Now for the final inspiration for today’s musings. Walter was sent home with some memorabilia from his dad. There was a 46 year old photo album filled with pictures from his parents wedding renewal on their 25th anniversary. So his parents at an age just slightly younger than us.   He particular liked the picture of them dancing which supposedly was a rare opportunity. I however, saw this picture and immediately saw love.

They say (there’s that ‘they’ again – they certainly do get around!) that a picture is worth a thousand words.  I say the right picture can be worth one word.  In this particular case: LOVE. 

I saw the same look on both of Walter’s parents faces that I have seen when Walter looks at me. LOVE. 

Can you see it? 



Mirror Mirror… – DoWoo #151/365

It’s not about who is the fairest or the strongest or the smartest or the most beautiful…what it is, is it’s all about recognition.  

mirrorWe are asked to read the words to ourselves each evening – The Guy/Gal in the Glass. We are tasked with recognizing that who we see in the mirror is the only person we need concern ourselves with.

“She’s the one to please, never mind all the rest, for she’s with you clear up to the end, and you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test if the gal in the glass is your friend.” Dale Wimbrow 1934

Numerous people have explained that what we see is a reflection of who we are: The world without if a reflection of the world within – Charles Haanel.  Others unknown but repeatedly heard such as ‘you are what you eat‘; ‘you attract what you are‘; ‘the people in your life are there to show you what you need to learn.’

This week a friend commented they had done something BIG! Initially they had felt exhilarated, excited, happy. Now they were feeling anxious, worried and stressed.  I remember learning we get to choose what label we attach to an emotion.   I recalled our son when he was 3 years old, staring down from the neighbours tree house – about 25 feet up – and saying his tummy was feeling funny. Consider the long term effects on our little man of how I guide him…I chose to explain that feeling was called excitement. 

I offered to share a story with the friend…of two people getting on a roller coaster…both of them having that niggly feeling in their tummies but one chooses to label it anxiety and the other excitement. We have a choice. 

During my observation reflection this evening, I realize this past week I have been feeling what I considered to be anxiousness about our upcoming journey to Costa Rica. I pushed through the feeling knowing that I am living my dream rather than standing on the side lines. But pushing through a feeling is not embracing it for what it is meant to show you. 

Having shared the story to aid another I was mean to recognize this about my own feelings. And all I need to do is label them the way I decide to…

Mirror, Mirror reflecting me back to me,

Listen to my feelings, I am what I will to be. 

mirror mirror

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Double Double Booked – DoWoo #146/365

Yesterday  I double double booked myself for noon today.  Walter reminds me that I tend to double book myself but this…well, I will let you decide….

  1. list_double_bookingsWe signed Gregory up for basketball camp – which finishes at 12 noon – and since Walter was at a business session all day, I needed to be there to pick him up. 
  2. I booked a hair appointment for 11:00 – knowing my hair dresser is usually delayed by at least 15 to 30 minutes – and it takes me 20 minutes to get to the basketball camp. 
  3. Confirmed with someone to have a web call at noon. 
  4. AND someone agreed to come look at my dining room set which is for sale at noon.

Yesterday when I realized all this – I sent a note to the person scheduled for the web call and rescheduled.  Then I text’d the person for the dining room set to confirm whether they could come at 12:30 instead. When I showed up at the hairdresser’s and she told me 10 minutes to wait, I explained I had already washed my hair to minimize time and then explained I needed to be out of the salon by 11:45 at the latest. We were done at 11:40, I picked up Gregory right on time and made it back home at 12:25 before the furniture viewing. 

Part way through this exercise Walter text’d me asking how my day was progressing.  I sent back a note saying I had made a list. 

The great news is I sold the dining room set, the bedroom set, a 4 tiered shelving unit, a piece of artwork and the silverware in a storage box.  

We also managed to squeeze in an errand which required driving downtown and back, going shopping and finding black dress shoes and a jacket for Gregory for Monday, have dinner together as a family, see a movie at the theatre and complete a good chunk of my business reporting required for Monday. 

Do I hear the word “productive”?

We love you more! – DoWoo #144/365

For just over 12 years I have had the privilege of knowing, and the pleasure of loving, a very kind and wonderful woman – my husband’s mom. Since our son arrived on the scene we’ve called her Bunia (short for Babunia).  At just over 90 she has been in palliative care for the last few months with her health gradually declining. Walter went today and within an hour of his visit, she left this world for whatever is next.  

I truly believe she was waiting for her “Vlady” to visit – so she could hug him and say ‘love you more’ – an expression both Walter’s parents would say as we departed or signed off a phone call.  The love and acceptance this woman had for her family was endless.  She welcomed me into their home from the very first day and we never looked back.  

All GVS 007

Bunia with 3 week old Gregory

I have fond memories with one in particular – the day we brought our son to visit his grandmother at 3 weeks old.  She held her grandson, looked up at her 54 year old son and said “Vlady…you have a son!”  (picture the godfather kind of thing going on – but with a Ukrainian accent). 

One of the ‘traditions’ of visiting Walter’s parents was to eat and then pack up the left overs so she could give us a care package.  We encouraged her not to cook and suggested we go to the Chinese buffet (they were regulars there – especially on holidays!) and then we would adjourn back at their place for a proper visit. What I found humorous, after having eaten at the restaurant…we somehow still managed to be sent home with a care package full of food. 

May 13 227a

Carolynn, Bunia and almost 2 year old Gregory – Mothers day – in front of the ‘forget me nots’ Walter brought home to his mom 50 years prior

When Gregory was young, she started giving him a bag of chocolate to take home with him – something every good grandparent loves to do.  I explained to Bunia that Gregory does not do well with the caffeine in chocolate – so she started sending him home with a bag of fruit.  One time, I seem to recall he was about 2, the bag was as big as him – and he proudly carried/dragged it to the car. 

I will miss this kind and loving woman.  I take comfort though in knowing today she is no longer in pain and for that I am most grateful.  

Bunia – We love you more!

bunias rose

The only video I have of Bunia is when she, Dito and Vlady (Walter) are singing to Gregory (not yet born) a Ukrainian song Walter hummed to Gregory throughout our pregnancy.   These three are so cute! 


OK OK I get it! – DoWoo #137/365

boatI was speaking to a friend earlier this week about her “AHA” moment when she told me about another thing – of being shown, reminded and then finally something had to fall on her head (literally) in order to make her realize she was being pointed towards a particular course of action. She referenced the story about God having sent a canoe, a Police boat and finally a service rescue helicopter. She had to finally get hit by something falling from the cupboard before she said to herself…OK, I get it. 

The same thing is what happened to me today. 

Yesterday, after having DoWoo’d about needing a hug, I sat with Walter in front of the fire for about an hour talking about a certain situation which had taken place: I had been on a call and said something which should not have been voiced…it was a negative comment. In replaying this situation in my mind, twisting it and turning it around in multiple ways…I became frustrated, then annoyed and eventually a bit ticked off. Mostly at myself but also a bit at him for not saving me from myself. This may not be rational…but it is where I went. 

Walter suggested I let it go.  It was done. I could do nothing to change it.  He explained I was dwelling on it and there are absolutely no benefits to doing this. I argued there was always benefit in review. You get to analyse and pick it apart to figure out how you could have handled it differently so you know how to handle it if it comes up again. 

Needless to say we came at this from 2 totally different perspectives. 

serentityAfter numerous bounces back and forth, I started to see a bit of clarity but was still fairly certain some part of my analysis of the situation was of benefit. This is when Walter asked me if understood the Serenity Prayer?  I started to recite each line, pausing to define in my own words the meaning of the sentence – giving examples. When we discussed the first part about “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”…he commented that what is in the past cannot be changed. I kind of got stuck there. 

So, if it is “grant me serenity to accept” = “the things I cannot change” (A = B) and “the past” = something which “cannot be changed” (C=B) THEN logically this translates into “grant me the serenity to accept” = “that I cannot change the past” (A=C).   Walter explained I cannot rewrite this particular prayer.

3Today I ran across numerous instances of other people finding themselves in similar situations, placing me in close proximity which led me to feel compelled to share my moment of clarity. The soccer coach’s 9 year old daughter who was dwelling on having said something to a friend and offending them.  The gentleman who shared he was having challenges with other’s level of service. The friend who coached me for 1.5 hours of consideration for my mom in her current state of her illness. The canoe. The Police boat. The service rescue helicopter.

Each time I shared the coaching I received the night before from Walter, I started to truly own this understanding.  

Tonight I logged on at 11:00 to DoWoo.  It is 1.15.15.  From Doreen Virtue’s Number Sequences From The Angels:  1’s and 5’s, such as 115, or 551 – Your thoughts are creating the changes in your life. Keep steering your thoughts in your desired direction. If the changes that you see forthcoming are not desired, you can stop or alter them by modifying your thoughts.

OK OK I get it!   



In the Flow & Taking Initiative – DoWoo #127/365

k12064258Had a wonderfully fulfilling day. Got 1 full bin packed of Christmas stuff which we are keeping and 3 bins of stuff to garage sale, give away or donation. No questions on most stuff with only the odd discussion with Walter to confirm keep or give. Managed to clear out the dining room cabinets of all the oddities. Had already called my brother about our grandmother’s mantel clock and I will drop it off on Wednesday.

20150105_171417$_20Walter and I discussed the antique book shelf I have had since I moved out of my parents place many many years ago. I don’t recall when this book shelf arrived in our household but I know we had it since before I was 9 – and it may have been around a lot longer than that. We can’t take it with us as the wood would not survive the climate and Greg would most likely not want it as a pass down. So I went on line and started researching what the possible value could be.  THEN I narrowed my search by adding in our location and low and behold there was someone looking for exactly what we have – they even had a picture of what they were looking for and it matched our bookcase – right down to the markings on the metal straps on the side.


I’ve sent off the picture to the interested party with an estimate of what we would like to ask for it.  They responded asking for more pictures.  I have faith in the flow!   

UPDATE: 2 days later, we agreed on a price and money exchanged hands to solidify the deal! I love how when you “key” something with the lessons from the Master Key Experience amazing results take place. 

flow-1i8gl86It is a very interesting thing…this going with the flow. It allows you to observe more…which as you know is part and parcel of why I’m doing this 365 day journey.  I was speaking with a friend of mine yesterday and she mentioned all the “ah ha” moments she has read about.  Upon reflection this evening I realize that is indeed the purpose and benefit of reflection!

If one does not take time to consider what one is doing…how can one change how one interacts, acts and responds to their external world.  Walter commented this evening that he was appreciative of my response when I was in the heat of the #CBHF, allowing him to redirect me to where he believed I needed to go, providing me with the tools I needed to embrace.  I thanked him for his appreciation and for persevering through my #CBHF!  

Volunteer.This week our assignment within the Master Key is to consider how we have witnessed certain virtues. I am concentrating on witnessing “Taking Initiative”.  I did this today…more than a few times – including offering an ergonomic alteration for Walter’s desk to help with neck strain, reaching out to people I have not spoken to in ages through Linked-In, accepted a request to connect with someone I have been estranged from for over a year, the above situation with the bookcase.  Gregory also participated by choosing to set his alarm earlier than usual so he could get ready for school before we did our morning workout.   My friend within the Digital Connections rocked her involvement and presentation material this evening – creating a solid learning tool for the entire class. 

Today was a blessed day! I am most grateful. 

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Self-Referral – DoWoo #126/365

Yesterday Walter brought me out of my #CBHF through reading to me The Law of Pure Potentiality from Deepak Chopra’s The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.   I was having a challenging day – concerning myself with what others were thinking, how I would respond, considering permutations out the wing-wang…all with less-than-desirable responses from my body, my mind, significantly reducing my ability to interact on any form of rational level. 

He then read:   ‘The experience of the Self, or “self-referral,” means that our internal reference point is our own spirit, and not the objects of our experience.  The opposite of self-referral is object-referral. In object-referral we are always influenced by objects outside the Self, which include situations, circumstances, people and things.  In object-referral we are constantly seeking the approval of others. Our thinking and our behavior are always in anticipation of a response.  It is therefore fear-based.  In object-referral we also feel an intense need to control things.  We feel an intense need for external power.’


I recognized the need to step back and reconsider.  I had been operating from a position of object-referral. And by doing so my behavior had become fear based.  So then…how am I to experience self-referral?

‘When you discover your essential nature and know who you really are, in that knowing itself is the ability to fulfill any dream you have, because you are the eternal possibility, the immeasurable potential of all that was, is and will be. The Law of Pure Potentiality could also be called the Law of Unity, because underlying the infinite diversity of life is the unity of one all-pervasive spirit.  There is no separation between you and this field of energy.  The field of pure potentiality is your own Self. And the more you experience your true nature, the closer you are to the field of pure potentiality.’

images (8)I imagined our world and my place in it, of my body and it’s infinitesimally small cells creating my entire being. I had visions of individual blood cells combined together, going with the flow, as blood, bringing oxygen to the other cells of our body…working in unity – our body having access to its pure potentiality.  I can only imagine that blood cells know their essential nature, their purpose.

However, if a cell in our blood decided not to go with the flow, decided they wanted to consider an alternate purpose for their existence, or have a hissy-fit, they would no longer be in harmony with their purpose,  no longer be in unity (going with the flow literally and figuratively) and access to pure potentiality would be lost.

maxresdefaultThis is the same for me. I must relinquish my object-referral, allow myself to go with the flow and embrace my true purpose as an individual in harmony with the whole.

I am “the eternal possibility, the immeasurable potential of all that was, is and will be.”

In embracing my true self I find unity with Self, harmony with all and have unlimited access to my pure potentiality.

Blessings of abundance to you all! 

Translation / Direction – DoWoo #120/365

download (3)Bear with me – I’m in a groove with Costa Rica on my mind today.  In the words of the Dalai Lama XIV  “If a problem can be solved it will be. If it cannot be solved there is no use worrying about it.”    Translation: There is absolutely no need to worry!    Direction: Be happy! 

Costa Rica accounts for only 3% of the earth’s surface. However it contains nearly 6% of the world’s biodiversity. Its natural wealth, both in species and ecosystems, is partly explained by its geographical position. Costa Rica has served as a bridge of countless species of animals and plants for thousands of years.

Secluded tropical beachThe system of National Parks and Reserves covers an area of 1,342 hectares or 25.6% of its land area. These areas include islands and beaches, rain forests and dry, active volcanoes, hot springs, caves, river canyons and waterfalls. This biological heritage, the product of millions of years of evolution, presents us a spectacle of a nature not processed and undomesticated. The services these ecosystems provide to humanity are manifold.  Courtesy of http://www.costarica-embassy.org/?q=node/12

costa_rica_sloth_0Comparatively, Costs Rica has 14% of Canada’s population with only 1/2 of 1% of Canada’s overall size. It calculates to 95 people per square kilometer in Costa Rica compared to 4 people per square kilometer in Canada.  But since 25.6% of Costa Rica is protected land, assuming it has no people, this ends up calculating to 128 people per square kilometer.  However, that said, there is A LOT of Canada which has no people at all. As an example, Walter and I live just outside of Toronto which has 2.8 million people in 630 square kilometers.  That calculates to 4,444 people per square kilometer. AND this then results in 699,370 square kilometers elsewhere in Canada without any people to make up for Toronto’s population.

Translation: Not nearly as many people to bump into at any given moment in Costa Rica. Direction: We’ll need to get out and meet them!

costaRica08From the perspective of cost of living, here are a few facts courtesy of numbeo.com

  • Consumer Prices in Canada are 30.72% higher than in Costa Rica
  • Consumer Prices including rent in Canada are 42.45% higher than in Costa Rica
  • Rent Prices in Canada are 85.46% higher than in Costa Rica
  • Restaurant Prices in Canada are 39.97% higher than in Costa Rica
  • Grocery Prices in Canada are 35.80% higher than in Costa Rica
  • However local purchasing power in Canada is 124.12% higher than in Costa Rica.

Translation: As long as you don’t need ‘stuff’ you are good to go! Direction: Go! Remember your camera! 

Illusion or Reality? – DoWoo #119/365

Was driving back from dropping off homemade turkey soup to my mom today when my mind drifted to thoughts of my siblings. I even entertained (briefly) the idea of calling one up and dropping by.  Years ago I used to spend quite a bit of time with a few of them. However, over the past 3-4 years any interaction has been either non-existent or only as it relates (recently) to the welfare and care of our mother. 

With thoughts of leaving the country for a good portion of the balance of my life, many people have queried how we will deal with the challenge of missing family.  I ponder whether we would miss family or whether we would miss the illusion of what family could be even though it is not. 

old meI recall splitting up with a boyfriend in my late teens and being rather distraught. After quite a bit of reflection (yes…I was always like this) I came to the realization I was missing my perception of who I thought this young man was.  When the rose-coloured glasses were completely removed – and I saw him clearly – I realized the person I was missing did not actually exist other than in my mind.  And since he did not exist – missing him was a useless way to spend my time.

stock-footage-press-out-a-blood-drop-from-a-fingerJust because someone is “blood” does it mean they are “family”? In our society two people choose to be spouses/partners and then, for some of them, they create another being through their joining.  The parents who are not blood are considered family members to the child who is only partially of their blood. Then we have couples who adopt and their children are not blood but they are considered family. Or we have the step fathers and step mothers who are not blood but still family. So when people who are not of the same blood can be called family, it may also be reasonable to deduce the possibility those who are of the same blood could be considered not-family.  

It appears to boil down to two things: choice and our definition of what family is. 

There is a person in my life I consider to be “family by choice”.   This person is someone I can tell all my deepest thoughts to without needing to filter, knowing there is no judgement.  They are someone whom I know I could call on at 2am and they would not only pick up the phone, they would do whatever it takes to help.  This person knows me for all that I am and loves me unconditionally. And I offer the same back.   From my perspective, based upon my perception, this is what family is.  Some may consider this a pretty tall order but if I choose to treat those I consider to be family like this, why would I settle for anything less? 

2 facesThere may be hope between myself and maybe one or two of my siblings. The rest…well, I’ll leave them as having an outside possibility. Since I know God has a sense of humour, I’d be silly to rule anything out.  

Either way, what I’ve decided is to only concern myself with the reality and not any form of illusion.  

Would really like to hear what you think? 

No Expectations – DoWoo #114/365

51Xsjlmr42L._SL300_Wow! We’ll leave it at that and let you have an opinion on my Wow! 

I drove 90 km (about 55 miles) to drop off the finished product from yesterday.  Since the radio is inoperable in this vehicle I listened to Wayne Dyer’s Excuses Be Gone (on Audible) using my phone and a little portable speaker.  No traffic – got there in just over an hour.  Stopped on the highway to call to get directions and it turns out I stopped just before the exit I would need.  

Decided to hang out at a mall I’ve never been to. Initially challenged to find any parking space but found one right outside the Bay doors.  Had lunch. Did a bit of Christmas shopping. The mall was quite calm and when there was a line up, it did not appear to be more than any other day.

01-woman-pushing-shopping-cart-lgn-17929409Drove 90 km back all while listening to Wayne again. Went grocery shopping (but could not find my vision list which Walter made sure I wrote before I left). Popped into the dollar store for stocking stuffers. While there was a huge line in this shop they had 6 cashiers…so what could have been daunting was quite quick.

Hustled over to use the facilities at the coffee shop on the other side of the mall and found a parking spot immediately out front – one of only 4 spots in that location. Decided to purchase muffins as a treat for tomorrow’s breakfast. Dropped by the liquor store after getting a parking spot immediately out front.  At check out I managed to walk into the shortest line in the store. I forgot my “air mile” card so offered to the fellow in front of me to stay and swipe his card to collect the points – which he did.

Popped over to Walmart to finish off the last few items needed to bake and found a parking spot close to the entrance (are you seeing a pattern?).  Found almost everything I needed and when I went to the cashier there was only 1 person in front of me!

Detoured to the Bulk Barn to pick up shaved coconut. Found really cool candy I love in the bulk bin right at the front!

Now…not sure if you observe anything about the above but I do.   I don’t listen to the “news” much as it’s hard to filter all the not-so-good stuff  – but for some reason it was on in the other car when I was driving 2 day ago….and they said:

dec 23

I did not consider the magnitude of what I could be stepping out into today.  On reflection it was quite calm, with minimum fuss and overall a very rewarding day with a lot accomplished!

I started to title today’s DoWoo “Expect the Unexpected”.  However, that would mean I may have had a preconceived opinion of how today may proceed or I could have anticipated the opposite in the hopes of manifesting what I received.  

Either my whole environment chose to shop elsewhere on the busiest day of the year (not sure I have THAT kind of pull) or my positive energy kept placing me exactly where I needed to be in order to maximize my experience! 

I believe what happened is…I just “allowed”.

And for the few minor moments which may have made the old me take pause (my old blue print) I calmly (but quickly) considered my options and made light of the particular moment – choosing to perceive what was going on as being exactly as it was meant to be.

Wayne makes mention of “Choosing rather than Excusing”.  Today was my “Choose to Allow; With no concern for the How”. 

What an absolutely glorious day!  I am most grateful.

Were you out there today?  If so, how did it go for you??


Sandwich Reflection – DoWoo #112/365

If you’ve stuck with me you will have heard reference to Walter and my parent’s recent health concerns.  I’m one of many they call the “sandwich generation” – where we are parents with our children who we are caring for and we are children to our aging parents for whom we care for.   Interestingly as I am the youngest of my siblings – the rest have mostly grown kids or already grandparents with our aging mother.  I wonder…does that make them a triple decker sandwich?

As it was not too long ago I was taking care of our little man, I started pondering the similarities of the newborn to our aged elderly parents.  Please feel free to add to this list in the comment section below:  

  • Life_2d8fa7_550894without teeth
  • eating liquids, slowly moving towards solids
  • having little to no hair, only the rare one has the full head
  • no control of our bodily functions
  • sleeping a lot!
  • spending most of the time laying around in bed while others take care of our needs

We start with a date. We end with a date.  The middle is referred to as our “dash”.  What we do in the middle – between birth and death is who we were in this life.  

In considering this and so many other thoughts of a similar nature today I came across this list by Bronnie Ware – a palliative care nurse who polled her patients responses in their last days in hopes to uncover any regrets so others may learn. 

15e236dTop 10 Regrets Of The Dying

  1. I never pursued my dreams and aspirations.
  2. I worked too much and never made time for my family.
  3. I should have made more time for my friends.
  4. I should have said ‘I love you’ a lot more.
  5. I should have spoken my mind instead of holding back and resenting things.
  6. I should have been the bigger person and resolved my problems.
  7. I wish I had children.
  8. I should have saved more money for my retirement.
  9. Not having the courage to live truthfully.
  10. Happiness is a Choice, I wish I knew that earlier.

Thank goodness for the Master Key Class.  It allows us to address all of the above! Onward my friends. We hold the greatest gift in our hands. Let’s maximize the Experience!!! 


Staying True – DoWoo #109/365

We are on day 3 of no internet and we have survived!!

Within the last 3 weeks we have had a variety of interesting technical challenges arise.  My laptop keyboard got stuck on the semi-colon and right in the middle of me typing something (external keyboard for ergonomic reasons) the main keyboard would lock ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; until I manually shut down the computer, my computer would not registering at the internet café but my phone did, my headset would work on my phone my not my companion app, and our internet was disconnected (in error) on Tuesday morning and won’t be reinstated till Saturday! AND…..Both Walter’s mom and my mom’s health…well, not so good.   

They” say that whenever something happens in your life it is like someone is holding up the mirror for you to take a good look at yourself, to help you learn something, recognize something about yourself or your life so you can learn from it.  Do you ever wonder who “they” are because they certainly have a LOT to say?

SO….WHAT am I supposed to learn from ALL this?

After pondering the depth of each of these areas, my answer (so far – as things do tend to unfold further and may show me more at a later date) is that we must embrace patience, we are to recognize what is truly important without getting freaked out, and we need to be able to roll with the situation – finding alternatives to get it done – and above all else….we must remain true to our self.

Wrote a very interesting email to my siblings this evening and even though I called and discussed it first with my one sibling, I knew my words were true and no matter what feedback I received, I was comfortable in sending it out – which I did. 

We are all on a journey of self-discovery.  We may not ever truly know how we made out till we’re done (assuming there is a summary or review with one’s higher power – or we come back again with a different set of lessons to learn assuming reincarnation – or…well, you get the idea).   BUT at the end of the day THIS is our journey and we need to remain true to our self.

I realize these challenges are merely speed bumps and since I’m on the right road, I just need to keep on keeping on and I’ll be just peachy fine. 

I stayed true today. 

How did you make out?

1s and 8s

A Conversation With Myself – DoWoo #103/365

The day did not progress quite the way I anticipated.  However, the challenges faced were met with a positive “just get it done“, “keep moving forward” attitude.  While nothing represented a significant spike towards our future reality, it was also a day where…what could have been considered drawbacks…were just speed bumps.

detourI slowed down.

                     Maneuvered over them.

                                         And KEPT driving!

                                                                       It felt really good! 

I was reading another Master Key members blog this evening and ended up having a whole conversation with myself – possibly it was between my old subby and my new – but it was all me, myself and…(not Irene = LOL).   Reactions were observed:

  • I immediately thought…what could I say which would help him to reach clarity – that he is going through exactly what he is meant to go through – in order to come out the other side?
  • Then I reminded myself the best influence is no influence.
  • But I like to help people – this is one of my personal pivotal needs.  What can I do or say? 
  • No, this is his journey and he needs to dig deep and find the answers himself

I am reminded of the story of the boy and the butterfly.  The boy, upon seeing the struggles of the butterfly to emerge from his cocoon, decided to help the butterfly and cut an exit to ease its struggle.  However, in attempting to help the boy actually did the butterfly a huge disservice – its struggle was part of the process to allow the butterfly to emerge in all its brilliance and beauty. Without the struggle the butterfly never flew. 

What would you do? 

There are going to be speed bumps, detours, slick driving conditions when wet, radar traps, winding, steep and occasionally some clear open road.  Either way, the path we are on looks like no one elses path.  The body we drive is like no one else.  We are meant to find our purpose – our dharma – and sometimes it is nowhere near where we thought we were originally heading. All we need to do is keep our eye on the road, make each day count, and allow lifes little nudges (road obstacles) to alter our path and point us in the direction we need to go.

I send this man an abundance of positive well wishes. I bless his life and his dream. I allow myself to embrace having a conversation by myself with myself – because in the end I was able to recognize that this is HIS journey – and for his emergence, he must travel his path of speed bumps.  And THIS…this whole blog – well it’s part of mine.    I am grateful to be here. 

Decorative Observation – Dowoo #98/365

2014-12-07 14.44.51Yesterday we went out and purchased a real tree as we do each year for Christmas.  Today we put on Christmas carols, dug out the ornaments, lights and sparkly decorations and trimmed the tree together. It was the first year I did not try to oversee the “correct’ placement of every ornament. OK – I’ll admit. I’m a bit particular when it comes to designing or decorating and things need to be “just so”.  This time I actually encouraged Walter and Greg, to put the decorations on the tree without my feedback.   And when we were done, I did not go back in and rearrange anything. I stood back and appreciated the tree for exactly as it had been trimmed.  We did a great job together! 

DoWoo! I observed and did not have an opinion about the ornament placement.  It was rewarding to recognize the shift within. AND it transpired unconsciously – recognized only upon reflection of the experience.  I am blessed.  The shift is afoot….I just needed a tree trimming exercise to recognize it.  

Consider this holiday time, especially when you are spending time with your loved ones, is your opportunity to grow your character within.  Is whatever is going on of any long term concern or can you just allow it to be as it is?  The holidays are a HUGE opportunity to observe without opinion.  This is our time to shine.  Use the tools we have been given and make this THE best year ever! Both for you and those around you. 

May you all be blessed with an abundance of patience and timely reflection. 

Happy 99th! – DoWoo #97/365

99aHave been thinking quite a bit lately about my dad. Today would have been his 99th birthday. The earliest (fond) memory is of my dad waking me up at the cottage late one night, lifting me up onto the picnic table so I could be at his same height and looking up at all the stars.  I was so young I was usually in bed before it got completely dark outside.  What I saw was beyond amazing – to this day I’ve never seen a sky so full of stars as it was that night.   The cottage was far away from any man-made light and it would have been August…possibly without the moon to dim the beauty of the stars.  I recall him taking time to point out the constellations we could see. It was magical. 


Another was when I was 10 and he was 60. He turned to me and said that I should get to know him because he would be dead soon. Whoa! Can you imagine? It was pretty traumatic at the time as I did not understand the context. He was the older of 3 boys, and both his younger brothers had already passed and he had reached the age his father had died at. We had 14 more years.

gatesI recall dating a fellow who claimed to be agnostic, which to my devote Roman Catholic father was beyond acceptable and not what he envisioned for his baby daughter. I was 18 and he 68.  I sat him down and asked him a question about Peter at the Pearly Gates.  I explained I was interested in his thoughts on what Peter would do if he had 2 men in front of him and he could only allow 1 man in. Not that that would happen but if….So, the one man was a devote Catholic, faithfully going to church each Sunday, said grace before meals, read the rosary every day..,but on a day to day basis was not the kindest or compassionate of men. The other man did not go to church, he did not say the rosary or prayers or grace…but on a day to day basis was kind to each person he met, was compassionate and helpful to everyone in his life. Who would Peter choose to enter? My dad asked me if I spoke of anyone in particular to which I answered (tongue in cheek of course) it was purely hypothetical.  He paused and then answered that he felt Peter would choose the second man who did not go to church but treated everyone with compassion. I raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing further. As you can imagine, my relationship with my father that day changed.

tumblr_lrabbbnysy1r02cc0o1_500Now my dad was not a saint, nor did we always see eye to eye. But he was a man who did what he was capable of doing based upon his knowledge and his belief system.   I am blessed to have known small pieces of a man who had much to offer but may not have known how to show it. 

I thank you for allowing me to share a few memories on this special day.  I dedicate this post to my dad and every other dad out there. Embrace your children. May I suggest you show them you are human and that you make mistakes. Show them love and compassion and understanding.  They are your legacy but your life with them is part of their foundation which travels with them throughout their journey. Make it a good one.  

The Synchronicity of It ALL – DoWoo #93/365

Pieces of my life just keep getting more intertwined. We have people who have come into our lives who we think are in our life for one particular reason and then BAM! you interact in a totally different way and something completely unique starts to unfold.  

137038I recall reading “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire” by Deepak Chopra. Although it has been over 10 years one of the things I recall him outlining was once you are aware of something – say you just purchased a yellow mustang convertible, you will immediately start seeing other yellow mustang convertibles, yellow cars, convertibles everywhere. Coincidence? Or Synchronicity? 

I reached out to a colleague of mine about our business today. Our two and a half hour conversation included about 10 minutes (towards the later part of the chat) about why I had asked to connect. The rest of the time we went off onto other tangents and ended up inspiring each other in totally different avenues we had not even known about each other until this talk.  Design or Coincidence? 

One of the things I do know how to work with is when something inspiring happens – I run with it. I don’t look at it and ask why or ignore it because it was not what I was originally looking for. I am already envisioning the ideas we discussed and am truly excited to hear the results of my friends action as it unfolds. 

1065303669While searching for a picture of Deepak’s book, I ran across other interesting images. An excerpt from the book about a man’s proposal.  

I can relate my own SynchroDestiny here. The day I met my husband Walter. Both our first time to an event our employers required us to attend. Neither of us wanting to be there after a long day at the office. Seeing each other for the first time across our assigned table. Our emails crossing in cyber-space the next morning. All leading to what we have today!

8578999595_8b08bb55ce_zI also saw a picture which struck me as totally stunning…and this quote:

“The trees must breathe so I can breathe.” Deepak Chopra

How apt is that?  We are all part of the whole. We are all intertwined. We affect each other and are there in order to serve one another. 

080a143dcd603738f89d748966b44c14AND lastly I found instructions on how to allow this universal energy to speak to you – to aid you in revealing and recognizing your direction.

This is how I started to paint at 46 years of age – finding a talent I did not know existed within me.  Imagine what else is within which I have not unlocked?

What do YOU have within you which is just waiting to be revealed?  


I thank you for stopping by and allowing me to share in this journey. It has certainly been an interesting roller coaster of a ride. I look forward to the balance of twists and turns. I’m all buckled in and have my two men beside me.

What more could one woman ask for?

Enjoy your day and may it be filled with an abundance of blessings. Just remember they may not look exactly like what you expected. Cheers!


“I Told You So” – DoWoo #90/365

told-you-so-meterI had to tell myself this today!  Not only did I dislike saying it, I did not take the news well at all!  

Many have written it, spoken it, coached it…the fact remains “What we think about grows”.  It is the crux of the law of attraction. So, now you are in on the dilemma and what I told myself “I told you so” about! 

I know we have a choice when we get up every morning. We can choose happy or sad; pleased or upset; grateful or unappreciative; enthusiastic or …well, I’m sure you get the point.  I know that what we concentrate the most on, the universal mind receives a booster shot filled with the message we are thinking about.  I also know that a thought, supported by a belief, when fueled by feeling, the universe will move everything needed to make it true.  

How easy is it for us to have that negative thought, and believe that with all that is going on…it must be true, and then propel it to it’s reality by injecting it with frustration and fear? 

Why does it seem more of a challenge to have that positive thought, believe in our hearts that we are deserved of this good fortune, having the universe shine brightly down upon our dream, and then to fill it up with premium enthusiastic pure 100% joy? 

Did someone say that life had to be difficult? 

Or is it possible we choose to believe challenges which are only introduced to us as lessons to teach us and to help us to find our inner strengths, we instead choose belief that the challenge is our due and all part of this thing  called “life”? 

I wish I could just shake myself sometimes. Tell myself to suck it up and get with the program. Everything I need is right there within me.  It has always been there.  I’ve just spent a lifetime complicating it and allowing it to get the better of me.

It’s all about perspective and it’s not always what it appears at first glance.

I am reminded of a story I’m sure most of us will remember. I continue to ponder my day until midnight – when today ends – and realign in the moment.  Tomorrow I will great this day with LOVE in my heart for everyone I meet AND myself! 

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Footprints in the Sand

1151992One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.  Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.  In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I notice that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.”

Copyright @ 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text.

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