Was looking for a particular video of our son when he was younger but came across the one below. Greg was just under 5 when we went back to the Dominican Republic to show him where Mommy & Daddy got married – and to enjoy a few weeks on the beach. We watched parts of the movie Pirates of the Caribbean. The next day Walter explained that he overheard pirates at the eatery by the pool talking about misplacing their treasure map. They went in search of it. What transpired could be indicative of all our hopes and dreams.
I’m amazed every day as a parent. I truly wish everyone could experience the joy we feel each day being able to be there for our little man. When one thinks of their “dharma” – their purpose in life – I believe many of us think it to be some thing we do ourselves which leaves an impact on others. Sometimes though, upon reflection, I can believe MY purpose may be to be Gregory’s mom – so that what we may be able to guide him to be, will allow him to have an impact on our humanity in some way. Moments after birth the nurse turned to us, as she held our son up for me to get a good look at him, and said “He is an old soul”. I embraced this then and still do. He teaches me…us…so much.
Today during our evening chill session I asked Greg if he was enjoying life? Yes. Was he happy? Yes. What makes him happy? “Mya, you and Daddy.” Less than a minute later he said that he was happy for his grandparents too: Dido & Bunia…Nana & Grampie. Because they met, they had us. And then we met and had him.
My sister commented to me a few days ago that he will eventually rebel…as all kids get to a point where they rebel against all that we’ve taught them as parents. Her hope for me was that I would be strong enough to allow him to rebel and be himself.
I struggle with this concept. He is a good kid. We’ve taught him to understand there are always more than one perspective to consider and ll actions have a cause and effect. We’ve taught him to negotiate and tolerate, be strong and compassionate, focus and hang out, to express himself knowing we are listening. If this results in a child who wishes to ‘rebel’, possibly due to whatever stage in his life he happens to be in, we will continue to be who we are now. We will allow. For now though…this is my now. And it’s all that I imagined it to be…and then some!
Before I had a child I imagined being a parent and envisioned my motto being “Lots of Love and Rules” . Then for a time I thought I would not be able to be a parent and so convinced myself it was best: I may not have been able to be selfless enough. When Walter and I knew we were pregnant….we agreed the only other rule was to “Make Every Day Count”.
I enjoy today. I see our future. Our son is exactly who he is meant to be. I see our future reality. I feel the peace, the love, the joy and am overwhelmed by our blessings. If any part of my dharma includes me being Greg’s mom, I say….as loudly as I can for all to hear…Thank you! Gracias! Merci Beaucoup! Mahalo!
Woo Hoo! 18% completed with only 300 more to go! Can you believe it? I am so in the groove! Also doing a happy dance because we ordered our holiday card already – so we will have it way before the season is in swing. We usually get this out the 3rd week in December and am now looking forward to getting it out before December!
When you adopt a “Wealth” mindset – Failure & Mistakes are now considered Research & Development.
And the main speaker explained, after he shared that he and his wife of over 30 years had 10 children: “My kids go to university not to learn how to get a job but to learn how to socialize with the people who will work for them.” Whoa!
What do you think?
We were spending some family time together last evening when Greg piped up…. “When you have 2 roads to choose from, you should take the one on the right….because it is the ‘right’ road.” One of the things I love about our kid is how literal he is. It makes for some interesting conversations.
I recall when he was about 2-1/2 or 3. We were walking down our block. He had picked up a stick and was doing what boys typically do, dragging it, banging it, swinging it…and it broke in 1/2. He was distraught!
I took his stick and said let’s make this fun. My motto is to make learning fun and everything can be an opportunity to learn.
I broke each 1/2 stick into 1/2 again leaving 4 fairly equally sized pieces. I lined them up and said, “OK – Greg, let’s count them.” He counted them while pointing to them “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8” and looked up at me. He had counted them both ways – therefore twice. I said “You counted them twice Greg. Only count them once.” He looked down at the sticks and said “1” and looked back up at me with an expectant smile.
Who is teaching whom here?
Not that I had an opinion…LOL…maybe it was a just a difference of perspective. Walter was at a regional training for his business today. I figured Greg and I could go walk around a flee market – something we’ve never done before. He likes “family time” and he likes “garage sales” and doesn’t mind “shopping” as long as there is something, somewhere, in there for him. So I figured we could go to a place I have not been in probably 10 years and walk around on a rainy day. I had planned to give him $20 to allow him to find something he would like to purchase.
When we arrived it was not open for another hour Decided we’d go shoe shopping at Walmart (kids feet continue to expand in length – go figure!). He decided he would much prefer to spend $20 on Pokemon cards which he had not done in a while. I acquiesced with the agreement that we would not open the Pokemon until we were done at the flee market – just in case he found something he wanted to purchase there as originally intended.
He was a trooper as we walked around the first of four buildings. He found nothing he wanted. In actual fact he did not really look at anything. When I wanted to go to the next building he asked to go home (obviously to open his Pokemon). We agreed on 15 minutes and he immediately set his watch alarm for the allotted time. After giving me the count down at least 4 times over the course of 15 minutes – we left, went home, and he asked to open his purchase.
What I observed today was a boy who knew exactly what he wanted, figured out a way to get it, went along with the requirement, ignoring all other possible temptations and focused on the final outcome.
I was just along for the ride. But what a ride I’m on.
If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!
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Our 9 year old son came home from school today. We were standing at the kitchen counter chatting while he had his “Mya” snack. He calls it this as he has something to munch on before or after he walks his dog Mya after school. He looks up and asks “Is ‘sexy’ a bad word?”
Whoa! Readjust. A small voice whispers quietly inside my head “Careful…no opinion.”
Best defense for a parent to buy time to formulate an answer to any question…respond with a question of your own. “Do you know what the word ‘sexy’ means?” “No” he answered. Phew! I let out my breath. No wait! I still haven’t dealt with his question have I?
Allow! Allow! Deep breath…jump!
“Well…sexy is an adult word for attractive. Mommy thinks daddy is attractive so I think he is sexy. Daddy thinks mommy is attractive so daddy thinks I’m sexy. That’s one of the reasons we got married. But it is not a word kids use – it’s a word adults use.”
Hope this works…. “Do you think you should use it?” “No”. “So, the use of the word by you and your friends could be considered ‘bad’ but just so you understand, the word itself is not.” He’s nodding his head looking at me attentively I search for a 9 year old connection. I remind him of the joke he made up for school the previous year: What did the screw say to the magnet? You are very attractive.
OK – I think I hit my objective: To walk the fine line of delivering facts while giving only enough age related detail AND to avoid setting up unreasonable beliefs which could be considered contradictory later on.
Turns out he was goofing around in the school yard singing “Eh, sexy lady” from Gangnam Style. And since the only words everyone seems to know include ‘sexy’ – it appears someone from his peer group pointed out he had used the ‘s’ word which is a ‘bad’ word. I reiterated that every family has different consideration for what is and is not a ‘bad’ word. Just like we believe ‘hate’ is a strong, negative word and avoid use of it, his friend’s family believe ‘sexy’ is a bad word and they should not be using it.
I suggested he may wish to choose to no offend his friends by singing this at school – but if he wants to be silly at home and sing while he dances – this would be allowable in our household. No further questions from my little man at this time. Yeah!
Would love your feedback on this one. Any other questions you know they will ask that you have a great suggestion for us in advance. I welcome others opinions.
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Blessings to all those who have survived parenthood – the legal ability to form another human being without instruction manuals. Ours did it with us. Ours will do it with theirs.
I had just completed my morning sit when our son came and cuddled up on me. He was explaining to me about his preference in pajamas – in that he prefers the pull overs tops with circular necks compared to the V neck and button up kind.
He then asks “What is better: A loving life or a rich life?”
WOW! I paused and asked him what he thought and why. He explained that it would be a loving life. A man could be rich and he could live in a big house, like a mansion, but if he has no friends or family he would not be happy.
I thank the universe / my source for all our blessings – and most especially my loving life!
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If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!
I had an opinion about a neighbour…actually about 2 of my neighbours. My husband reminded me I’m not perfect.
Whoa! Was that an opinion??
So…it’s now after 10:30 at night…and I’m sitting here pondering today, thinking back through the entire day looking for my DoWoo. I certainly observed numerous areas where I could have been better at observing and releasing having any opinion…and then thank goodness, I found a DoWoo!
Our 9 year old came home with what he called “homework” for us today. The teacher gave us a questionnaire entitled “Introducing…Your Child“. What a great idea! Ooops! Slipped into a slight opinion there as well!
The form starts out by explaining “I would like to know more about your child through your eyes. The more I know, the better I can tailor an educational and motivational program to fit his or her needs. Please answer the questions and complete the information below.“
- List 5 words that best describes your child’s character.
- What motivates your child?
- What are your child’s out of school interests and activities?
- How would you rate your child’s study habits? (1-10 with being the lowest score)?
- Which academic subject is your child’s best___________ worst___________?
- What social skills would you like to see your child develop?
- Are there any personal or physical problems that I should know (or conference privately) about?
Wow! Has anyone else had a teacher send this home?
First – I have to observe our son and share information with the teacher without it being an opinion. Interesting exercise.
Second – I had the opportunity to explain to our son about my new mission / goal of sharing 365 days of DoWoos – and then got to share an explanation with him about what is the difference. He explained it back to me with his own examples. Smack on.
Lastly – I observed that our son’s new teacher is special and we look forward to getting to know her throughout our son’s school year.
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DoWoo’d today. I really want to know!
Carolynn Sokil @IDoWooDoU