Influence - DoWoo #300/365 - DoWoo - A 365 Day Realignment Journey

Last night we had a play date scheduled for another local English speaking mom and her 2 boys – 1 around Gregory’s age and another a few years younger. Speaking with Gregory about his new friends today he commented they talked a lot about killing and shooting and stuff. He said they even made the game of tag into “stabbing” the person when you caught up with them.

At a young age, when a number of the other boys at school were playing with toy guns and such, I explained to Gregory that I personally felt sad around these types of games because they remind me that real people get killed with real guns. I was careful not to forbid him from playing with these toys – letting him know he had a choice – allowing him to make that choice.

I remember him telling me about playing on a friend’s DS game, making sure he explained “but they don’t die mommy”. Even now he plays Minecraft and tells me that in his version his character doesn’t die – he just respawns. Through the last few years Gregory has exhibited his own aversion to aspects of the game world or even TV shows which include killing.

He is now playing with kids who may have a different set of ground rules – or understanding of real and play time. We believe Gregory needs to learn avoiding exposure at all costs may not always be possible.

We sat down and explained to him that we are confident he has developed his own core values as to what certain games mean and do not mean. We explained that sometimes you can play with someone and just allow them to have a different perspective. By no means do we want him to run around believing his perspective is right and someone else’s is wrong. Differences make the world go around. Strong values though can, and do, influence others – this is life.

So while we understand he could possibly influence them to see his perspective, there is also the chance they may influence him to think differently than what he does right now. Ultimately it’s all about choice for what he believes to be right for himself.

Gregory turned to us and said it’s like a magnet and metal – that one attracts the other – and 2 magnets repel each other. He then said “I’d rather be the magnet than the metal.”