. . . 
When I said this to Walter this evening he immediately asked if I meant “awed” to which I admitted no…I meant “odd”. I’m doing my best to try and understand why (there’s that question again) but can’t really seem to put my finger on anything definitive. Alot of things happened today.
I spoke to someone I had not spoken with in quite some time. While it was great to catch up with all the wonderful personal news she had to share, the portion of our conversation which touched on what was going on in the corporate world of the company I used to work for…for which I am now a provider of services….it felt 
.
Today we confirmed the funds (a good chunk of our savings) had been successfully deposited into the account of the seller of the car, we signed the paperwork with the lawyer to transfer ownership, we paid for 6 months of insurance and we now own a vehicle in Costa Rica. I felt .
We went out to meet up with a group of expats who gather at the local pup in San Louis on Wednesdays. We chatted with people in a way which was different from any conversations I recall having had in years. The group were unique and all had their personal stories to share. This whole interaction felt a bit . Not them…just how I fit into this space with them.
My siblings gathered this evening approximately 3,700 km (as the crow flies) or 6,200 km driving distance away – with 4 countries in between us, to distribute the items from my mom’s will and her remaining possessions. About 25 years ago I had a conversation with my mother, letting her know that I would not be “there” when her belongs were divided ups – and voila I am nowhere close to my siblings as this event takes place. Talk about thoughts becoming real! Even though I did not want much of anything, and had released a good part of my portion to my siblings, not being there felt a bit to me.
It may just be that I am in a different space than I am used to – financially, emotionally, physically, intellectually. While I’m loving the space…it just feels a bit .
