It’s My Fault – DoWoo #173/365

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download (9) 03fdb8341674096332603a507d429591It’s all my fault – really – LOL!  At minimum I am 100% responsible. Can you imagine that?  I’m taking responsibility for my thoughts and my reality.  That’s what we learn in the Master Key. If everything I think about grows, and what I think about becomes real, then I control what happens to me. I create my destiny.

I love it when people say “I told you so.” because they are right! When I was one of these people, I would imagine the worst and when it happened, I would say those dreaded 4 words to whoever I told of my imaginations.  What I found out though was it was all about what I thought. Somehow. Sometime. Somewhere. This was a thought which manifested itself into reality.

Walter and I have known we were moving to Costa Rica for the last 8 years.  However, since we seriously put it out there, set a date, commenced what needed to be done to actually drive this forward…we meet new people daily who have been there, know people who’ve been there, know someone with a villa, a cottage, a business, who retired there, has family there….

Do you get what I’m saying?  

Everything falls into place for those who do the leg work.  The adage “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” ― Seneca.    The legwork is what we learn within the Master Key Experience.  

I remember driving downtown Toronto for business each morning and once you get onto the Gardiner Expressway Eastbound before Spadina, there was an Inglis sign which had a new quote or saying each day.  I distinctly remember “Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. – Unknown

Temptation does not get me anywhere because it’s still leaning on the doorbell – which means no one has answered the door.   I’m not waiting for opportunity to knock – that would be like waiting for the lottery.

I am creating my opportunity which is creating my reality.
And I must say…I’m having a blast!

Wanna join me?

the master key experience

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see things differently than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses. No obligation but so so much to potentially gain if you end up being rewarded a scholarship.

The choice is TOTALLY up to you!






Positive Energy – DoWoo #172/365

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Visited my mom today in the hospice. When I announced I was there she greeted me by name. We had a nice chat. I mentioned that one of my sisters was coming later and staying over.

travelbags450x200During our chat I recognized that if I put aside my personal baggage with this sibling – and looked at her from a different perspective (maybe a bit of yesterdays outside looking in) I realized she is a good daughter. She has always been there to do and to ask and respond, to set up and organize, to include and manage. My mom is blessed to have a daughter such as this. “You certainly have a good one there.” I told my mom.

My mom has 7 of us: 5 daughters and 2 sons.  I remember asking her whether she imagined all these kids. When she answered “no” I asked how then? To which she responded “My eggs were hot!”  When I step back and consider what each of us brings to our relationship / our interaction with mom – I realize she is truly blessed. She has a good variety of characters to keep her entertained – we are all individuals that is for certain.

The same sister I mentioned showed up shortly thereafter and set up her laptop and her overnight bag letting mom know she was all set for the sleep over. She pointed out all the little things we could do to help mom stay more comfortable – I helped a bit. I observed that she knew a lot of what was going on with mom from her constant visits.

Just as I was leaving one of the nurses came in. We recognized each other from my previous visit. She gave me a big smile, we embraced with a heartfelt hug and words of greeting. My sister looked up (it seemed with a bit of surprise) asking if we knew each other from before. We admitted to just having met the last time I was in.

THIS is what I bring for mom. Positive enthusiastic energy filled with happiness and joy. Giving her a kiss as I left, I whispered to mom “Stay out of trouble. And if not, tell me about it later.” I heard her chuckle. 

“I live this day as if it is my last.” – Og Madino

positive

I am truly blessed to have been given a scholarship, and now introduce others so they may have a chance to obtain a scholarship, in the Master Key class.  With everything we learn, I am now in a position to choose how I look at things…even my moms declining health and ultimately my own mortality.  

I ask you…do you want an opportunity to look at things differently?  Only you can choose to take the next step.  I promise it is a ‘positive’ one – LOL!   Opt in below and I will personally ensure you receive the information about the next class (Fall 2015).  Then you can review the information for yourself and decide.  What have you got to loose? Nada.  What have you got to gain? Whatever you set your mind to! 

Outside-In vs Inside-In – DoWoo #171/365

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download (7)Was chatting with a few friends this evening when a discussion arose about how children’s perceptions of their fathers (in a break up situation) can be quite different than those of the mother (the former wife). We discussed how sometimes a person may not notice something about someone until we are on the outside looking-in.  

Now this is not like my observations about the Franklin Makeover in reverse.  This is about the outside looking in versus the inside looking in.  Stay with me here.  It’s something you may recognize once I explain.

flat,550x550,075,f.u1 (1)Many of us know families who have experienced a dissolution of a marriage where children are involved. While I do have an ex husband, we did not have children (unless you count the dog which I told him was a non-negotiable part of our settlement – full custody to me).  I have however seen many break ups from the outside. But this is not the looking in I’m referring to here as in order to do that you must be part the equation – it is imperative to this observation. 

When one divorced parent experiences less than desirable “______” (fill in the blank) from the other divorced parent, they have a variety of options on how they may communicate their feelings about their “ex” to their children. From what I can imagine (and have witnessed) parents typically choose to do their best to remain as neutral about the other parent as possible, avoiding influencing their child’s perception of their other parent OR they can choose to explain what the other parent has done (obviously from their perspective) which may result in something of a slam session depending upon what prompted the dissolution.

I’ve witnessed mostly the first option with a slight caveat – in many cases the parent holds their opinions in front of the children but when the children are not within the immediate vicinity, they voice their perspective (usually not so nice) to others who will listen. 

Difference_Of_Opinion-BeeeaterThe one parent is on the outside looking in at the other parent, no longer connected by marriage…supposedly seeing them for who they are objectively.  While the child is on the inside looking in, seeing their parents from their own version of connection. This can result in a difference of opinion about the parent being viewed. 

While the “in” (the other parent) may be exhibiting the exact same character traits, doing the same things they’ve always done, treating everyone the same as usual, both parties (the parent and the child) see them from a different perspective – one being in and the other being out. 

So…what does this all mean? What do I observe from this interaction and review of our discussion this evening?  It’s all about perspective!   And our choice to choose love and who we love!

download (8)Now…even though I was not a product of a “divorce” my parents did not really get along. By the time I became old enough to be something other than a self-absorbed child (I believe this was around 8 or 9 years old) I recognized my parents were not like some of the other parents. While they were in the same house, they lived separate lives as much as possible.  They did not like each other. I spent my entire life either being on my mom’s side or my dad’s side.  Whoever’s side you were on would be slamming the other parent verbally. There was however, one slight reprieve. I recall having a good open line of communication with both parents at the same time for about 1 full year – I was 20 at the time. Unfortunately never to be repeated again. 

When I recall this aspect of my life, I realize that I was on the inside looking in at both of my parents – recognizing each of their characters, their idiosyncrasies.  Not sure who, if anyone, was on the outside in my situation. 

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you. – Wayne Dyer

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see something different than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses. No obligation. Potentially so much to gain.  Allow yourself to do something positive for yourself and your future! 

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The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

Question of the Day – DoWoo #170/365

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Why do  we associate feelings with inanimate objects?

Allow me to elaborate.

For those of you who may have followed our journey recently, you’ll know we are preparing to list our home and then relocate to Costa Rica. So while we are “de-cluttering” from a real estate perspective we are also divesting ourselves – we will not be bringing much with us. Every day for the last few weeks we have been working towards all of this (and then some).

Today we purchased a table and 4 chairs to replace the older oak set which took up a good portion of the eating area in the kitchen. It matched the kitchen from a marketing perspective and would take up less space.  All good aspects to make sure we show off the house to it’s best.

During the drive over to pick it up I was feeling rather excited – I mentioned it to Walter – I was actually a bit giddy. As Walter assembled it, I carried the old set out to the curb, placing it at the end of the driveway (yes….it was sitting on the snow).  When the new furniture was set up in it’s place, I observed the new look and suddenly realized I had been harbouring some very strong emotions towards the old set. Walter knew this in general – since up until recent I had a penchant for being vocal about my opinion (HENCE why I’m working on this character trait by blogging about not having one…why else would someone be crazy enough to commit to writing a blog post for 365 days in a row?)

But I digress…

Until this moment I had no any idea how strongly I disliked the previous set.  Walter asked why?I explained it was clunky, large, heavy, worn….and it belonged to he and his (practice) wife during a previous marriage.

Now that my friends, THAT is how to give an opinion!

WOW!

I thought about this. Realizing I had attached a feeling to this table. AND then I had allowed it to simmer within me for years. Not something I thought of often but each time I did, it was apparently allowing this negative feelings to fester.

Why the heck would anyone do this to themselves?!

We attach feelings to objects.

Remember, the world without is a reflection of the world within. If we have negative feelings towards inanimate objects, what does this say about our world within?  What is the correlating world without?

Bear with me now…2nd situation:

I have a decent (Walter says “in-decent”) collection of jewelry. Today I was packing it up, sorting what I may wish to keep, give away or sell and I realized there were pieces which I recalled why I purchased them, or when I wore them…attaching feelings to each – with some having a slightly higher sentimental value. Some were gifts from Walter or Gregory, and I allowed the feeling of when they presented the piece, maybe where I wore it last, the look on their faces – all of this to wash over me. Again, I attached feelings to these inanimate objects.

I’ve sat here and tried to figure out what this observation means.  I’m so totally not sure. But maybe that too is for a reason.  To allow me to recognize that I am unable to have all the answers immediately.

Ooooh – now that in itself is an observation – LOL! 

Would love to hear back from YOU as to what YOU think – yes I’m asking for your opinion ….

Why DO we associate feelings with inanimate objects?

.  For now, I will bid you adieu. Buenas Noches!

 

 

 

Makeover in Reverse? – DoWoo #169/365

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images (22)Many of you may recognize the name Ben Franklin.  Back in 1726, at the age of 20, Benjamin Franklin created a system to develop his character.  Using a list of 13 virtues he tracked daily his observations of these virtues.  And in the words of a dear friend, one can only recognize something in someone else when we have it within ourselves.    We can use the Franklin method and choose any aspect of our character we wish to identify, magnify and multiply.  By Observing, Tracking and then Recognizing, we can create a ripple effect within ourselves to grow that which we concentrate on.  “Whatever we think about grows.” – Napoleon Hill. 

REVERSE ARROW_OCS ICON_86 x 81 blueToday I observed this process in what I can only describe as the Franklin makeover in reverse.  I recognized someone who does not see a particular character aspect within themselves AND interestingly they also do not recognize this same character aspect in another.  Allow me to try and elaborate without calling attention to anyone in particular as that is not what my writing today is about.  

In the first example – let’s consider that I personally wish to magnify kindness. By observing and then recognizing (while recording in order to track my progress), acts of kindness around me in my daily life, I begin to observe and recognize this same attribute within myself.  Then by seeing it within myself, I see it more in others and more in myself. Creating a wonderful cycle of positive growth. 

Hill also states “We refuse to believe that which we don’t understand.”  THIS is where the observation of Ben Franklin’s makeover IN REVERSE came into play. 

2811977537_e0699089abIf someone has no idea what kindness is, what kindness looks like, no point of reference, how can one recognize it in another? And if we cannot recognize that trait / virtue in another, how can we recognize it within ourselves?   So if we don’t understand it, then we will refuse to believe it exists.  

Walter reminded me that we cannot talk to someone about breaking out of jail if they have no idea they are even in jail.  If one does not know what a spider is how can one realize there is a spider in front of them (or right above them as the case may be)? 

We are each on our own journey of discovery.  Upon reflection, all I believe I can do for this person is to send them blessings of love as they pass through my orbit.

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see something different than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses. No obligation but so so much to potentially gain if you end up being rewarded a scholarship.

the master key experience

The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

9 Year Old’s Perspective on Bullying – DoWoo #168/365

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As a parent in today’s society I find it distressing the amount of “bullying” which goes on and the number of practices are in place which address this…but to what extent?

Allow me to bring you up to speed on this.  When Gregory was a year old we placed him in a private school day care which was close to our home. When he transferred into grade 1, the same organization had a grade school located at the other end of town which ran up to grade 9 at the time. While it was the same group overseeing the 2 schools the differences were immediately noticed when it came to bullying.

images (20)Gregory was coming home, more often than not, with stories about a particular child who was aggressively acting out towards he and a number of the other children. This particular schools response was to “keep an eye out” for this particular bully but as parents we did not witness much in the way of actively  responding to the matter.

Within 2 months we made the choice to remove Gregory from this private school and place him into the local public school system.   When bullying came up again, we were impressed the school had a specific counsellor who would work with the children (on both sides) and parents of the child who was bullying were brought into the discussion almost immediately.

bullyingGregory is currently participating with a sports club who teaches kids about how to be strong and responsible without negative behaviour.  AND last Friday Gregory graduated from a Karate Kids lunch time program run through the school.  Last week when Gregory was shoved down onto the snow by one of the bullies in the school yard, and then his face was ground into the snow, Walter asked whether he used any of his Karate techniques. He was unable to defend as the perpetrator came up from behind before he knew it and “Karate is not to be used to fight” he responded.

Gregory came to us and said he understood why bullies do what they do.  He explained they are not happy, or they are angry about something, and when they bully someone, for a moment they get a feeling of happiness but then it goes away. Then they feel they have to do it again in order to get that feeling of happiness. That’s why they continue to do it. But they are just unhappy inside.

Walter piped up and said “Bullying Peptides”.

We’ve learned in the Master Key Experience that what we do by habit is feeding the peptides our body craves.  For those who are miserable, they tend to seek out what makes them miserable in order to feel that feeling they are used to – they crave the negative.  It’s like the book about quitting smoking. Smokers don’t smoke because the like to smoke, they smoke because they want to feel the non-craving feeling which they get when they smoke.

While smoking can be stopped by understanding the feeling of being a non-smoker can come from not smoking – as well as smoking…and we learn we can change our outcome by creating desire for alternate peptides….what do we do about bullies?

images (21)All I know at this moment is my kid gets it, he is a non-bully and he, and his choices in friends, stick up for each other when it happens.

The Master Key Experience is not a magic pill. It is not a self-help solution.  It is not the answer to all your prayers. However, it is what you choose to make it.   We are given the tools to look at ourselves differently, the world differently and to teach our kids how to go forward without some of the misunderstandings we may have.  I for one, am feeling truly blessed today.  

If you want to see a change…be the change. It’s totally up to you! 

the master key experience

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see something different than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses. No obligation but so much to potentially gain if you end up being rewarded a scholarship.

Seeing Red or Red? – DoWoo #167/365

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I wonder why people refer to “seeing red” when they are irritated or annoyed but then red heart shapes are considered to be the epitome of love.   I was told some time back when I was a teen (not sure by whom) that love and hate are very close to each other and sometimes one can switch quickly from one to the other regarding another person – ultimately recognizing that those we love can also be the ones who irritate or annoy us the most. 

Does anyone have an idea of what may have happened today?

Yep – that would be it.  Walter annoyed and irritated me. It’s a long story so I won’t elaborate. The good news is that by tomorrow, or the next day, it will most likely have all blown over, but tonight…well, its still pretty fresh. 

I remember the first time I really saw red – pure anger without any rational thought coexisting within my being.  Comparatively, today was about 1/10 of that moment I can so clearly recalled. I now hold the tools to use to adjust one emotion for another.  

The good news is that no matter what happens, no matter whether I annoy or Walter annoys, we are solid in our love.  Our souls recognized each other the moment we met in this lifetime. Walter is already planning for when we meet in the next.  This aspect of our relationship is one of the strategies I used to allow me to walk away from the red and start see the red – recognizing that in the end we are soul mates – we are love – we are us! 

I send blessings to everyone to recognize the love within and without. Recognize that you are love itself and embrace your gift to humanity.  Love is truly the answer!

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see something different than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses.  No obligation but so so much to potentially gain if you end up being rewarded a scholarship. 

the master key experience

The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

Neutral to Maximum – DoWoo #166/365

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This it the text I sent our real estate agent and his reply:

2015-02-13 22.03.02

WHY?? 

In case you missed the chaos, you can read about it here.   After 6 out of the last 7 days with painters in our house, the last few weeks filled with furniture rearranged or removed; with all our artwork and personal decor taken off the walls and stored, with all our “personality” dismantled room by room, altering our home to what could be considered (for the most part) “neutral”, one of the mantras I consistently said to myself was: ‘This is no longer our home. This is someone else’s home.’

I’ve counselled transferring employees one must always remember which side of the table you are sitting on – especially when dealing with real estate.

buy-sellWhen you are a buyer you are typically shrewd, you do your research, you pick apart anything which may not be to your liking in order to negotiate the value downwards.  However, when you are on the opposite side of the table to the buyer, it is more typical for you as the seller to point out all the things which you found beneficial about your home, draw attention to those aspects which may have been time consuming to create, or financially dear to install or update, seeing everything through the eyes of an owner, all with the intent to negotiate the value upwards.  

When I stopped and really listened to myself, the experience I had gained, through almost a 1/2 a century of my mom’s real estate career and my own in relocation, I realized I had almost fallen into the same trap which most homeowners do.  

In what I can only estimate to be a good portion, if not the majority, of real estate transactions the seller usually does themselves a disservice.  Why? Because the seller has let their personal perspective and taste get in the way of being objective and real about the product they now wish to sell.   

productAND that my friends is the key word here…”product”.   It is no longer my home.  It is a house. As a seller I now need to remove my personal feelings and adjust to what the market wants. 

Imagine…a homeowner who steps back and chooses to review their property through the eyes of a buyer.  If a seller can see this, truly see what their local buyers are looking for, they can then adjust their product to suit the majority of the potential buyers thereby increasing the value of their house. 

When I looked around my house today and thought “If we weren’t moving to Costa Rica, I would want to stay in this house”, I realized we were on our way to offering a product which may appeal to a maximum number of buyer.  It had almost nothing of our “personality” but I could see myself living here.  

I will wrap it up with the analogy Walter used – in neutralizing the decor, removing our personality, we have created a blank canvas which is inviting, allowing the buyer to be able to “picture” themselves living here. 

Blank billboard

Make the Ride Count – DoWoo #165/365

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I am continuously amazed by my little man.  There must be a slew of other parents out there who feel about their kids as Walter and I do about Gregory.  I want to find them.

Are YOU one of these parents??

mountainsidehospblog.shovelingsnowAs I’ve shared previously Gregory gets excited when it snows.  Snow means an opportunity to shovel. Which means $$ in his pocket. Which means he can purchase whatever he wants.  This week however he totally blew me away with his generosity.  

He has 2 key friends at school. The first is a boy whose parents split just over a year ago and his mom does not have much, if any, disposable income.  The other young boy is someone who recently moved to Canada as his dad is here on a work assignment for 10 months.  

xbGregory asked me to do a search on how much it would cost to purchase Minecraft for XBox 360.  I found this strange since we don’t have an XBox. When I told him it was about $20 he got excited and said he wants to get this for his friend. His first friend has a computer and watches videos of Minecraft but cannot play it as he does not have the program. However, his dad bought him the XBox for Christmas and this would work perfectly.  AND with Valentines Day coming up…Gregory explained he now has an occasion to give it for rather than just giving it.  

Toys-R-Us-Gift-CardTHEN he explains the $25 Toys R US gift card he got for Christmas he is going to give to his other friend so that he can buy a nice toy or game before he goes back to India.  

My heart is filled with love and gratitude that Gregory picked us to share his journey! 

This evening we are cuddling and chatting about stuff when I notice the light was flickering. Yeah, an opportunity to teach.  I explained that anytime a light is flickering, we should check into it.  It could be bad, a sign of something wrong with the bulb or the electrical wiring – so Walter would need to look into it to make sure we stay safe.  

He pipes up and says “Opposite of good”. Huh?  Gregory explains: “I use ‘opposite of good’ rather than saying ‘bad’, this way it’s less negative and more positive.” 

OK – that works! 

positive-vs-negativeWalter and I made a choice when we found out we were pregnant. We agreed this was still our ride until our child was old enough to have their own ride – and so they would be along for our ride wherever that may lead. AND secondly, once Gregory was born, we agreed we would do our best to make every day count.  

I’m observing…this ride I thought was ours is now OURS – all of us.  AND Gregory makes it easy for me to make each day count…he’s right there with us!   I’m reminded of the 3 words Walter and I chose for our wedding vows “I AM US”.  We certainly are. 

Keeping it Real – DoWoo #164/365

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Was asked a question this evening “Do I always talk in the 3rd person?” I have to admit I did not understand the reference and although I had apparently just done this, I had no recollection or awareness that I had.  Makes me wonder how much of what we say is rote versus intentional.

Turns out this friend observed that whenever I related a story which involves my son, I talk in the 3rd party “Mommy” rather than “I”. I had to think hard to recognize this as truth and once I did, then I wondered why.

I asked Walter. He and I have an agreement we always tell the truth – even if we believe the answer may not please the other.  It keeps everything real.  Walter did not recall having noticed this. However, once I gave him the example of when I speak about Gregory, he ran it through a few times and then agreed I have done this. Not sure how often though. Figures it would not be often or he would have noticed.

So I googled  “What does it mean to refer yourself as a 3rd person ?” The answer “Illeism is the act of referring to oneself in the third person instead of first person and is considered a narcissistic behavior.” So then I googled “narcissistic” which means:

  • PSYCHOLOGY
    extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
  • PSYCHOANALYSIS
    self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.

I don’t know about you but this certainly made me take pause.  Do I really do this narcissistic behaviour? If yes…I so totally need to remove this habit from my blue print. In the words of Og, “I will form good habits and become their slave…For it is another of nature’s laws that only a habit can subdue another habit.”

I am now consciously aware of this, and have asked Walter to be aware along side me. We will catch if and when I do this and then BAM I will replace it with something else.  Not sure exactly what that something else is yet but knowing the diagnosis if I don’t replace it may be a good start.  

Will come back to you on this at another date.  

In the meantime, I’d like to ask you to CONSIDER how you may have taken this news? I’m still wrapping my head around how it feels to hear something like this about yourself.  I’m not freaking … but I did allow that pause.  Now I’m sitting here typing…knowing that anything, even this type of habit, can be altered with the power of my thoughts. I will deconstruct the habit and then construct the solution. 

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

Would you like to see something different than what you are currently seeing? If so, please opt in below. When the scholarships for the next class are available, you will be on the list to received the details before the masses.  No obligation but so so much to potentially gain if you end up being rewarded a scholarship. 

the master key experience

The choice is TOTALLY up to you!

Positive Side of Chaos – DoWoo #163/365

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I had a new mantra today.  “I love my chaos!” Getting a house ready to list is a unique experience unto itself.

welcome

Today I realized that I have never sold a house using a Realtor.  Now the interesting part is that I have helped hundreds, if not close to a thousand people, buy and sell houses all over North America but I’ve never done this with my house while using a “professional”.  It’s almost like an Obstetrician who has never had a child of their own. When (assuming we are talking about a female doctor) they get pregnant themselves…everything can be perceived differently.

For someone who once led a group of relocation real estate counselors in various locations around North America…this is a new experience – always a good thing even if it does involve some chaos (I’ll circle back to that shortly).  I’ve only owned 2 homes. The first I purchased in my late 20s with my mom as our real estate agent. When I sold that house I did it privately as by that point I had 5 years of real estate counselling under my belt and figured I knew enough. Ha!! 

Then I purchased this house from my brother – privately – and my brother purchased our mom’s house – privately – and she built (I got to help with the architectural design changes!).  By then my mom was mostly retired from real estate but between us we got all the paperwork done the way it needed to be be done.

So…now we’re selling and we’ve selected this very experienced team who are well versed in the area, know what the market is currently doing and have counselled us accordingly.  I’m doing my utmost to be a reasonable person and avoid being one of ‘those’ people.  You know the type…they are experienced in the field so think they know everything and don’t really listen using their experience because now it’s THEIR house we’re talking about and…well, they become an agents worst nightmare.    

originalSo…everything they’ve told us is advice I am fully aware of (and most of it I’ve given)…but now I need to TAKE it!   In the words I chose to share with our son – I need to suck it up! 

Hence the CHAOS! 

I’m not complaining in any way nor am I implying the team told us we had to do any of these things. They did however explain (again logic and totally understood factors based upon my experience) that if we wish to maximize the market appeal, and therefore increase the value of our home, there were things we could do. 

how-to-declutter-choices-collageWe knew we needed to “declutter” (one of those fun real estate buzz words which means get rid of all your personal crap). BUT removing 50% of the furniture in the house was a bit unexpected.  I get it though. Their phrase “less is more” is true.  You do NOT need to have a piece of furniture on every wall. Unfortunately we did! 

Picture6We knew we may need to “neutralize” the decor (again another buzz word for paint rooms something which does not stand out – allowing most people to like what you have). HOWEVER I did not anticipate painting the entire house.  Totally our choice as there were a few rooms we had originally agreed did not need to be painted but they did warn us that they may stick out – which they did.  So to coin another phrase “in for a penny, in for a pound”.  It makes the entire house fresh, bright and neutral and will maximize buyer appeal.

We now have a crawl space full of furniture and stuff; mostly not sorted as timing is now and sorting to move with only a small amount of stuff takes time.  We have some of our rooms starting to take shape but it’s still a bit upside down and 2 more rooms to paint before we can start finalizing the furniture placement. My office was my kitchen table today…which on the positive side allowed for a change of scenery and first dibs on the banana bread when it came out of the oven.   There is ALWAYS a positive side!  

This would be the Law of Substitution.

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The Law of Substitution is just one of the aspects covered in the

the master key experience

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

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Suck it where? – DoWoo #162/365

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Gregory received his report card today and while he does well academically, and he has some great friends, he can be overly sensitive. We’ve coached him in a variety of ways over the years trying to get him to recognize there is a time and place for being upset and when you tie that into the “boy who cried wolf” lesson, we had hoped by now he would have figured it out.  Not so much! 

images (19)When Gregory was little, and he did a “wah wah” about a small bump or someone not wanting to play with him, we gave him the “wah wah finger” which basically is your pointing finger making funny twisty, turny, pokey, bendy movements in their general direction while asking him if he needs to have the wah wah finger tickle him?   It always made him laugh, the moment of distress would be gone and he would completely move on within a few minutes.  

As Gregory has gotten older this tactic no longer seemed to work.  We tried a variety of different solutions but none have seemed to work.  I became a bit perplexed the other day and rather than try to sugar coat it or logi-size it, I decided to be blunt. The next time he did the “wah way” I told him he needed to “suck it up”.  I then had to explain what this meant. 

images (18)So when something is not going the way you expected, or people are not treating you the way you would treat them, or you fall down and bump something (but you aren’t bleeding), then you take a deep breath, realize that crying and feeling sad are not going to change anything, so get back in the game, you continue on, you find something else to do.  Adjust to the situation, treat the person well, pick yourself up – brush yourself off – and SUCK IT UP!! 

Gregory’s report card today included comments on these areas of “wah”, aspects we had discussed throughout the school year as they arose.  Turns out he had not done much with the coaching we’d provided thus far.  

His report card requests the Student expand on two sentences: 1) My best work is; and 2) My goal for improvement is:.  

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Parenthood did not come with instructions. We do what we can based upon what we know. He’s a great kid with a kind heart and an abundance of the ability to adjust.  Gracias for allowing me to share! 

 

Winter Wonder What? – DoWoo #161/365

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appreciatePassed a sign in front of a church this weekend. 

Was unable to stop as it was un-plowed, slippery, snowy roads on a down slope.

It had the same verbiage as this message.  

One of the things we’ve learn in the Master Key is that everything around you is there for a reason. We create what we think about.  What I was thinking about was WINTER! 

2008-01-28-banked-bikeWalter and I have always said we are not winter people.  When I was chatted with one of the other guest at the resort this morning, she commented “I’m not a winter person. But what can we do, we live in Canada?” My answer…move to Costa Rica!  Just because we were born somewhere does not mean that is the extent of where we need to reside. However, I’ve also known people who have never left their town, their province/state, let alone considered moving out of their country. But…as “they” say….different strokes for different folks. 

freezerYou may be wondering what possessed me to go away – UP NORTH – when I am not a winter person?  While originally this came about for totally other reasons, I’m not understanding it was so I could recognize and appreciate what we have before it becomes what we had.  Over the years many people, when they hear where we planned to move, would respond by saying “You’ll miss the seasons.” or “You’ll miss winter.”  The last one we would typically reply that if we ever did miss winter, all we would need to do is open the freezer and stick our head in to remember it.  

I must admit after all the brutal cold and ucky weather so far this season, this weekend was to remind me how beautiful winter can be. It snowed Friday to now – almost non-stop.  The kind which comes down gently – consistently – making everything white. Trees are covered in little fluffs of snow.  Fields are rolling hills of white.  Whoever coined the phrase “a winter wonderland” must have been away at a place similar to where I was, on a weekend such as this.

winter-photos-5Have decided before THIS winter is over, Walter, Gregory and I will get away for the weekend to enjoy some of what this lovely country offers us. We do appreciate what we have.  However, we are also completely OK with “it” becoming what we had.  We can always visit snow when the mood moves us to. 

What about you?
Are you a winter person?  
If not, how would YOU feel about living in a place without it? 

Silence Affects – DoWoo #160/365

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silence-clipart-be-quiet-shhh-shh-shhhh-silence-please-1Started my day sleeping in – no alarm. Woke up at 7am.  HEAVEN!!! When I went to breakfast a new server, Jessica, approached me and immediately said she understood I was not going to be speaking and that she was sad…she likes chatting!  Allison, the server from last night must have passed along my intent.  I pointed, she served. I was getting into the rhythm of my personal silence.

Realized I did not bring my swim suit and expected to partake of the hot tub today. I braved the snow filled roads and found the closest Walmart.  When I went to try on the suit there was no one at the fitting room desk and only 1 socks_ankle-socksroom had an open door.  I went in.  Realized I wanted something else to try on. Left the room in my socks – closing the door behind me with my coat, shoes and purse. Returning less than a minute later I found the door locked.  I’m in the middle of Walmart, no associate anywhere in sight and I’m in my socks!

images (15)There was a bell on the desk!!! I rang it. Someone came. I pointed at the door – she explained I would need to go into one of the other stalls. Talk or no talk? I compromised and wrote a note. She replied with understanding and opened the door.  When I left, and handed over the ones I was not interested in, I nodded my thanks. She briefly looked up and then lowered her eyes, saying Welcome. I saw her a few minutes later, looking for the rack to hang the suits back up. I waved and pointed at the location. She nodded and smiled.

Interesting…the more interaction I had with her – without my speaking – she gradually adjusted to my mode of communication.

lifestyle_colorfillI returned to the resort. Walked around and enjoyed the snow. Watched people play on the ice. Shot a round of pool.  Ate lunch. Painting on canvas back in my room for a few hours and then decided to have that hot tub. Mimed swimming and a large square to the front desk – Bonnie who checked me in and knew of my intended silence. As she grabbed the towels, she said “Come on, ask for them, I know you can do it.” smiling the whole time. When I walked past the office window she caught my eye, I stuck out my tongue. She laughed loudly.

Red_buttonI’m getting into the hot tub when I realize I need to turn on the bubbles.  I go over to the switch and push the red button. The alarm sounds.  I pushed the wrong button. Augh!   Instructions say to pick up the phone and the alarm will go off.  Talk or no talk?  I go to the front door in my suit with towel. No one is coming.  I pick up the phone. Nothing happens to the alarm. I press zero. The front desk answers.  

busted

I then spent the next hour contemplating whether my ‘silence’ was over or whether I would just continue on.  I considered all sorts of responses to both sides. I waited for a sign.  Nada.  I eventually decided to be finished for this stint.  

Upon arrival into the dining room, Jessica approached and I explained to her that I was busted. She laughed at my folly. Jessica then shared her observations. Something I may not have been told had I not interacted verbally with her this evening.  She had honoured my silence, speaking minimally with me.

02be3eba5dc7fdc742f0a21875f74426Jessica explained serving with me being silent was a very interesting exercise. She found that she had to be more observant – more attentive – and in doing so realized that she spends a good portion just listening rather than watching. She felt this had made her better at her job and felt all the staff should go through this.  I received my sign (or at least what I have decided it my sign – LOL). 

Will do this again but next time it will not include being in a space which may require outside interaction.  It’s not quite the same as full on silence (giving and receiving) but it was good nonetheless.  Blessings are everywhere. One just has to be observant.  

 

Chicken Soup & Fluffy Snow – DoWoo #159/365

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Who said Chicken Soup was good for the soul?

Chicken-Soup-for-the-Mothers-SoulI went to visit my mom on the way up to the resort this afternoon.  When I arrived one of the volunteers at the hospice was reading to her from “Chicken Soup for the Mothers’ Soul”.  The volunteer asked to finish the story, only 2 pages left, as she too wanted to know what would happen.

Mom thanked her for reading to her and she handed me the book. I asked mom whether she would like me to continue to read. I did so.  I read for about 45 minutes…numerous stories, all very poignant with many of them talking about death.  I kept getting choked up but mom did not seem to be with me…so I pressed on.  She drifted in and out of sleep, and then all of a sudden, just after I said aloud “Could these stories be any more heart wrenching?”, mom started getting choked up herself. I took her glasses off, passed her a tissue and she wiped her eyes as the tears rolled down.

Mom and I agreed that this was not the book we wanted to read.  An observation we can both feel better about.

I arrived at the resort 2 hours later, having driven through two areas with significant snow fall. The resort was covered with about 2 inches of fluffy snow. You know the kind you can just blow on and it moves out of the way.  It’s gorgeous.

20150206_210035Now…anyone who knows me, will confirm I am not a ‘winter’ person. However, if winter was like this for 3 months…I may have a slightly different position. It’s crisp out without being brutally cold.  A bit of winter exercise of any sort and you’d be feeling pretty comfortable in the cold.  The snow crunches under your boots when you walk, the silence of the cold night air making the sound more audible.

I am officially off grid other than my DoWoo. I look forward to awaking tomorrow and going for a walk in the morning.  I look forward to what I am able to create tomorrow.  You?

 

Organized Chaos Solution? – DoWoo #158/365

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Two words keep running through my mind the last few minutes as I pondered how to approach what I wish to write about today.  These two words are: 

Organized Chaos
controlling-chaos-header

What I had intended to write about was “Organized Solitude” but what kept coming out was the other. In thinking about what I meant by Organized Solitude – it’s more along the lines of “Self-Imposed Solitude” – which in a way is bit oxymoron-ish – like Organized Chaos. 

Chalk-boardSo…why am I pondering this?  Did you READ yesterday’s post??  It appears I have reached the proverbial wall and even my subconscious and my new blue print are conspiring to beat me over the head to tell me to chill!  I’ve given everything I have and now I need to decompress. I’ve always known I needed this. I just don’t always listen to myself till it’s at a critical state.  In hindsight it always seems like such a no-brainer…which I admit having missed. 

Marching-into-history-At-20-Energizer-Bunny-is-an-iconBeing a primary “blue” (intimacy) and a secondary “yellow” (fun) it’s easy to believe I could just keep going…something similar to the energizer bunny.   I need down time. Time to recharge my batteries and realign my psyche. Time to regroup and get back on track. 

Yesterday was a huge eye opener for me.  I allowed myself to get so over extended that I was no longer functioning in a manner conducive with my expectations for myself.  Getting back to #1 from yesterday…Be kind to myself! 

I am

I am going up north to a resort for the weekend.  I had signed up for a women’s retreat get away just over a month ago and was disappointed when I heard they were cancelling.  Rather than wallow in that particular feeling I chose to take matters into hand and requested whether I could still partake in the group rate for myself.  YES!! 

YEAH!  I have a room with a fireplace, logs included with the room, 5 meals from Friday to Sunday morning, a balcony and solitude if I wish it.  I wish it. 

6Am shutting off my phone. Am only turning on my computer to post my daily blog (a commitment I will maintain). Am turning my back on email. On facebook scrolling. On twitter sharing (just 3 days – I’ll be back!). On human interaction. On the craziness at our house in the midst of painting, decluttering, selling and working. On the busyness of everything that has transpired in the last two months with both of our families. 

Self-imposed solitude!  Not sure which core colour requires this to maintain sanity but I’m going to feed her this weekend.  I look forward to the creative results of my solitude. Will it be organized chaos or the cosmos unfolding as it is intended to.

 I’ll have to get back to you on that one. Stay tuned! 

Reminder Day – DoWoo #157/365

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OK I think today was a combination day.  A combination of so many of the “aha” messages I’ve written about thus far.  

Be kind to myself. 

Learn how to say no – and not overextend myself. 

Stop and allow what is going on to unfold as it is meant to. 

Choose happy.

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Tackle the elephant one bite at a time.

Remember what you think about grows.

Be patient.

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Enjoy / Embrace now.

Focus

Have Faith

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These are all the messages I found I needed today.  And I’m sure if I stopped and gave it more thought there could be a few more.   I am grateful for all the reminders.   I will accept today as what it was.   Bottom line…in the words of my husband “today ends at midnight”.  Then I carry over into what my little man said at around 3 “tomorrow is the best day ever!”  May your day be bright and filled with love.  Today….tomorrow…always! 

A Picture Is Worth One Word – DoWoo #156/365

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If you’ve followed me for a bit you may have read that I sometimes sit down at the end of the day and have no idea what to write about and then something strikes.  I allow knowing it will come and I’m exceedingly grateful each time when it does.    Tonight I had 2 mini thoughts to share and then received the pièce de résistance.

Safety

What ONE word would you attach to this photo?

Walter had been gone all day to help out his dad with a few things.  I kicked my organizational ass into high gear and put all the stuff into the crawl space that I packed the last few days. Then I packed another 8 boxes and cleared out the majority of our kitchen – with most of the stuff not going with us.  Walter arrived home in time for supper. Afterwards he went to the cupboard looking for a particular bowl for desert and it was not there.  I explained that I had packed it.  He was surprised saying we use them all the time.

I responded that since I figure they were most likely not going with us to Costa Rica, we should get used to not having it now.  He thought this was quite humorous.    I’m still trying to figure out why.  Walter explained that this was a very round about way to get from point A to B.  I see it as a straight line but hey…those are based upon my synaptic thingies not his.  

David-Goliath-262x300

What ONE word would you attach to this photo?

Then we were chatting by the fire when I told him about going to check out the local funeral home (as I was asked to for mum for comparison purposes). I explained it was nice enough but I found the decor overwhelmingly neutral.  Walter smiled quite loudly and said this was up there ‘positively negative’.   Do you think this could be the next big real estate term??  

Now for the final inspiration for today’s musings. Walter was sent home with some memorabilia from his dad. There was a 46 year old photo album filled with pictures from his parents wedding renewal on their 25th anniversary. So his parents at an age just slightly younger than us.   He particular liked the picture of them dancing which supposedly was a rare opportunity. I however, saw this picture and immediately saw love.

They say (there’s that ‘they’ again – they certainly do get around!) that a picture is worth a thousand words.  I say the right picture can be worth one word.  In this particular case: LOVE. 

I saw the same look on both of Walter’s parents faces that I have seen when Walter looks at me. LOVE. 

Can you see it? 

love

 

Learned Behaviour or Inherent? – DoWoo #155/365

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We talk about looking at things differently in the Master Key. We talk about observing without having opinions. We also talk about rearranging the furniture.  

bedroom_furnitureWhy DO we do that? 

There is a point in the class where we are asked to display 4 key aspects of our DMP – our Definite Major Purpose – around our home; regular letter sized paper, 6 to 8 copies (depending on whether you work from home or not) and each has 4 large coloured shapes displayed with key aspects of your DMP written within the shapes.  

shapesThen every few weeks we are asked to “rearrange the furniture” – sometimes the pages are moved within the house, sometimes the shapes are missing writing and sometimes the shapes change between portrait and landscape. We are coached that our subby (the subconscious) will recognize the changes and will sit up and pay attention.

My son recognized this today but not about the shapes.  This morning I removed 3 framed photos from the walls down the short flight of stairs between the main 2 floors – there are only 5 steps so the walls are not that long.  First he said the house looked plain without the pictures. Then this evening he said when he walked down the stairs he felt he was in someone else’s house even though he knew he was in ours.   

A slight change to your environment can stimulate your brain to sit up and take notice of the change.  However, what I found exciting was our little man recognized / observed this and then was able to articulate it to us.  What is also interesting is he “felt” the change and identified it as not ours. 

tumblr_n0e77gInWf1sh9tc7o5_500I wonder whether this is learned behaviour or inherent to us as human beings?  Are we geared to be attached to our decorative items so that when one is moved or removed, it triggers a feeling of change or loss?  Or are we geared to just recognize change from a survival perspective?  What other options are there? 

I observe ‘rearranging the furniture’ does have a certain trigger to our subconscious…the great news is the Master Key class teaches us how to use this brain-game to our advantage in order to move ourselves towards our purpose.  Imagine teaching yourself to maximize this inner aspect to reach your goals, your desires, your dream!

the master key experience
If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

You have Furniture.
You know how to Rearrange it.
NOW learn how to maximize it! 

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Whose Choice is it? – DoWoo #154/365

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plan aheadHave and am experiencing two totally different types of family situations regarding funeral planning at this time. Walter’s mom passed 10 days ago and my mom is now in hospice and is not anticipated to be with us for long.  Walter’s mom planned all her funeral choices almost 30 years ago whereas my mom did not.  This has resulted in her children now making a number of these decisions for her.

I have to admit I’ve struggled with this the past few weeks. I know I am of a different bent than my siblings on a number of philosophies.  In this case I am of the opinion (sorry this may just be one of those areas I cannot just observe) it is up to the individual to choose how they wish their send off to be managed.  The caveat being, that if someone dies unexpectedly, some decisions may have to be made without their input.  However, if they are still aware and able to converse, why would we not ask them their opinion? 

People plan for their demise all the time – they choose life insurance, they make a will and update it, they sign a non-resuscitate order (if that is their position) and some even complete a donor card which may be attached to their drivers license.  So, why is it some have not consider what they want done for their send off?

plan aheadI’ve already explained to Walter most of my wishes…and have even recently mentioned to Gregory that I wish to be cremated and then buried under a tree so as it grows, it may carry a piece of me with it.  He suggested I consider a tree which flowers in the spring time so not only will the tree grow but it will also be full of beauty. Love this idea!

So…I wonder, is it supposed to be up to the living to plan their own send off or should it be put to the remaining living to decide for the deceased, hoping to properly fulfill the wishes of their loved one?  Or it could be that the funeral is for the living…so allow the remaining living to choose. 

it just isI don’t believe there is a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer here. It may be simply that any answer will depend on each individual situation. I observe that while I prefer to have structure and guidelines I’m sure my mom’s situation will evolve as it is meant to.  And as the answers unfold, I pray I am able to represent my mom in a manner that she would want.  

This blog is meant to elicit conversation – especially in instances where I am doing my best to remain within my DoWoo philosophy.  So please, I ask of you, share your perspective for this case. I am appreciative of any mastermind thoughts on the situation.  Gracias!