Adjust – DoWoo #13/365

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317388-22319-1My husband and I are working on our communication styles – learning to actually speak to each other in a manner the other one responds positively to.  We love each other – we just don’t always communicate as well as we could.

So this new way allows the person speaking to recognize what is the best way to communicate with the receiver – a way which allows them to be receptive to the information being shared – speaking in a way the receiver understands and can assimilate. Very powerful stuff! 

BesidesA few of the aspects Walter and I learned early on in our relationship – do not hang wall paper together (this was left over from his previous relationship) and don’t try to work at the same computer at the same time (this was me).  We were working on a joint assignment this past evening. Walter and I chose to get out of the office (where we sit facing each other), sit in the dining room BESIDE each other and have both of our laptops open to the same page. We worked in tandem.  We were respectful of each others communication style.  We were jointly productive and successfully complete the task in record time. 

I observe I am able to adjust.  This time :o)

No opinion! – DoWoo #12/365

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question kidIf you’ve had kids who are grown up now, this may resonate…

Our 9 year old son came home from school today.  We were standing at the kitchen counter chatting while he had his “Mya” snack.  He calls it this as he has something to munch on before or after he walks his dog Mya after school. He looks up and asks “Is ‘sexy’ a bad word?”

Whoa!  Readjust.  A small voice whispers quietly inside my head “Careful…no opinion.”

Best defense for a parent to buy time to formulate an answer to any question…respond with a question of your own. “Do you know what the word ‘sexy’ means?”  “No” he answered.  Phew! I let out my breath. No wait! I still haven’t dealt with his question have I?  

Allow! Allow! Deep breath…jump!

“Well…sexy is an adult word for attractive. Mommy thinks daddy is attractive so I think he is sexy. Daddy thinks mommy is attractive so daddy thinks I’m sexy.  That’s one of the reasons we got married. But it is not a word kids use – it’s a word adults use.”

Hope this works…. “Do you think you should use it?” “No”. “So, the use of the word by you and your friends could be considered ‘bad’ but just so you understand, the word itself is not.”  He’s nodding his head looking at me attentively  I search for a 9 year old connection.  I remind him of the joke he made up for school the previous year: What did the screw say to the magnet? You are very attractive.

OK – I think I hit my objective: To walk the fine line of delivering facts while giving only enough age related detail AND to avoid setting up unreasonable beliefs which could be considered contradictory later on. 

Turns out he was goofing around in the school yard singing “Eh, sexy lady” from Gangnam Style. And since the only words everyone seems to know include ‘sexy’ – it appears someone from his peer group pointed out he had used the ‘s’ word which is a ‘bad’ word.  I reiterated that every family has different consideration for what is and is not a ‘bad’ word.  Just like we believe ‘hate’ is a strong, negative word and avoid use of it, his friend’s family believe ‘sexy’ is a bad word and they should not be using it.    

I suggested he may wish to choose to no offend his friends by singing this at school – but if he wants to be silly at home and sing while he dances – this would be allowable in our household. No further questions from my little man at this time.  Yeah! 

Would love your feedback on this one.  Any other questions you know they will ask that you have a great suggestion for us in advance.   I welcome others opinions.  

Thanks for stopping by.do woo

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Blessings to all those who have survived parenthood – the legal ability to form another human being without instruction manuals. Ours did it with us. Ours will do it with theirs.

Epiphany Time – DoWoo #11/365

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Depth+Perception.+I+don+t+got+it_b289f2_4607257I was in a family meeting last night with my 6 siblings. There were a lot of observations and opinions were flying rampant.   The great news is I restrained my opinions – avoiding feeding the bucket.  The even better news is I was able to observe my one sister’s ability to continuously keep us on track.  I had no idea she had this skill.

As an individual we may perceive others based upon our relationship with them rather than look at them as whole individuals.  What I figured out is that until now I have always observed and perceived my siblings as individuals within the family dynamics.  I limited my view to how they interacted AS family members.

perceptionPondering this in greater detail I now realize I have done this in ALL aspects of my life. I have viewed co-workers only on how they perform at work. I view customer service personnel, where I am a patron, as to how well they serve me.  I now realize I have mistakenly viewed my husband as a co-worker (we have a business together) rather than as the husband, father, and co-owner of the business we run.

Whoa! That was a doozy self-observation!  Time to reflect, readjust and continue on with a better understanding: Observe each individual as a whole – you may see abilities which were hidden by your limiting views.

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Question of the Day – DoWoo #10/365

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question_of-the-day_iStock1-630x486I had just completed my morning sit when our son came and cuddled up on me.  He was explaining to me about his preference in pajamas – in that he prefers the pull overs tops with circular necks compared to the V neck and button up kind. 

He then asks “What is better: A loving life or a rich life?” 

WOW! I paused and asked him what he thought and why. He explained that it would be a loving life.  A man could be rich and he could live in a big house, like a mansion, but if he has no friends or family he would not be happy. 

41QmW03xfwL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_I observe a child who understands the lessons we are living and teaching him.

I thank the universe / my source for all our blessings – and most especially my loving life!

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Sit, Meditation & Prayer – DoWoo #9/365

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Had a much better day of today! DoWoo! 

I observed something needed to shift in order to allow myself to be in a better space today.  I took the time to review and then realign my direction.  Through this process I further observed that I am most grateful to my husband who has the patience to persist in offering guidance to me – even when I am not be in the most receptive place.  He may even go so far as to tip toe through what could be likened to an active mine field in order to ensure I receive the support needed – to remind me where I may be going is not where I intend to go.  He is my blessing! Thank you Walter! 

Walter and I belong to a group of 6 like minded individuals who hang out once a week, and have been doing so for months now (wow, I observe this as a significant accomplishment).  We offer support and encouragement to each other in our journey of self-discovery.  This weeks’ visit included a discussion about our “sits” – what we all refer to as the time we take each day to just be still and at peace; to allow ourselves to just…allow.  

Some people may refer to this time we spend in silence as something different.  I choose to consider it my time to reconnect my inner direction with my source.  However, I did not always have this perspective. I recall an interview I had the opportunity to watch between Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. The-Difference-Between-Meditation-and-Prayer.   It resonated. 

Rather than include just the video, I wanted to allow you to see this from a Graphic Novel perspective. A small portion is not within the Bit Strip but hopefully I’ve captured enough for your viewing pleasure.  Feel free to clink on the video thumbnail to hear the conversation as you read along.  22a122a222a322a422a522a622a7Are you enthusiastic about your time with yourself?  Are you enthusiastic with your time with your source / your creator / your God / the Universe?  How often does one get the chance to listen and allow?  I observe my time to reconnect is now.  I am blessed to have been reminded of my direction is so many ways today. 

do wooThank you for stopping by.
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Share your thoughts. I welcome conversation! 

Carolynn Sokil

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Overhaul the Observations Within – DoWoo #8/365

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I had a lot of observations today.  On the other side….I also had an awful lot of opinions – much more than the “without” represents in DoWoo.  I won’t get into the details of that less than positive “space” in time…where I went in my mind (what was I thinking?). Suffice it to say, as I’ve observed before, this gets me absolutely nowhere.

58406_534884246533515_222200104_nBut one of my observations today is an avenue of huge self-discovery.  Wait for it….you may recognize the phrase…“I am my own worst enemy!”

7b628db223c6cd91e01c10eeffde1cdeNow, please, please, do not laugh.  Aw, heck. Go ahead. I will in a few weeks….or it could be months….but I KNOW I will be laughing when I recall this point in my journey. Oooh…is this is a positive spin?…OK, I’m getting there.   Stay with me please.

So, getting back to being my own worst enemy.  We know that “we are what we think” (Buddha) and “we are the sum of our thoughts” (James Allen).   So…negative attracts more negative. Hmmm…AND…..positive attracts more positive. I need to get back into alignment with what I know.  It’s imperative that if I am to attract what I want to be, I must first be what I want to attract.

love_scraps_greetings-1We’ve heard all sorts of opinions on what we know is true. Some of them have even been pretty profound in their delivery. Bottom line is that the same way gravity exists as a universal law, the law of attraction exist.  We don’t turn it on or off. It is running in real time, right along with every single thought which passes through our mind. Since we can’t cut off our…well you know, we need to readjust our thoughts! 

I am reminded of a mantra used by Frederick Andrews and expounded on in Week 9 of Charles Haanel’s  Master Key – “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!” If I don’t truly believe this…how the heck is anyone else going to?

i'm perfectAgain…another saying I’m sure you’ve heard before:

“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

Anyone else ever struggle here?  If so, you are not alone. We just need to remember we ARE whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving harmonious and happy!  We choose where we live! I choose to live here! 

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If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

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A limited # of scholarships are being awarded as of September 11th.
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Observation Versus Opinion – DoWoo #7/365

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Observing without offering your opinion is something we were asked to do in the Master Key class.  From what I have read and discussed this experience had varying effects on the hundreds of class members.

I recognized this is an area where I wish to become more proficient. Hence this 365 day journey. In anything we do, the more we look for it, the more we recognize it, the more we embrace it within ourselves.

Observation

  1. an act or instance of noticing or perceiving
  2. an act or instance of regarding attentively or watching
  3. an act or instance of viewing or noting a fact or occurrence for some scientific or other special purpose.

Opinion

  1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty
  2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal
  3. the formal expression of a professional judgment

How does one observe without having opinions on what they observe?  Based upon my DoWoos thus far, allow me to provide a few samples of what this may look like on both sides.

personal_support_workerThe Personal Support Worker gathers the soiled linen and folds it neatly in the laundry basket, ready to be carried to the laundry by whoever is able to do so. 

An observation:  The PSW was diligent in making sure soiled linen was placed away from anything else, not on the floor and taking up the least amount of space.  Folded laundry does takes up less space. 
An opinion: What king of support person would take the time to fold soiled linen and not just put it in the washer right away?  And put it in a clean laundry basket? Eww! 

images (99)The owner of a vacuum supply and repair shop offers to allow a customer he just met to take product home without paying for it, commenting he knows they will return.

An observation: The owner of this shop is trusting. 
An opinion: The owner of this shop has decided to trust a complete stranger. Is he for real? Did I get taken to another planet? 

lightning_stormA child views the lightening storm in wonder and likens it to ‘natural fireworks’. 

An observation: A child’s perspective is pure wonder – appreciate and allow. 
An opinion:  How silly.  Fireworks are completely different.  I’ll explain the facts and then he’ll know the difference – just like the rest of us. 

It’s a fine line between taking the information our brain processes as to what we see and then sharing that information through the filter of our personal perception and experiences.  

I had someone say to me…”I have a right to my opinion.”  Absolutely! Everyone has a right to their opinion – it’s sharing that opinion with others which can lead to some interesting challenges.  Especially if the other person did not ask for your opinion.  AND then if  you are able to keep your opinion to yourself, are those thoughts of any benefit to you? 

Why not allow ourselves to just observe – recognize facts – stop the information from going through our personal opinion filter.  Once we learn how to do this ‘no opinion’ part of the process, whatever we observed may actually look different. 

I will continue to ponder on this and do my best to DoWoo! 

do wooI looking forward to learning more tomorrow!
Thank you for stopping by!
Please do so again (follow button below) ….and remember to share how YOU DoWoo’d today.
I would really love to know!

Carolynn Sokil             @IDoWooDoU      

If you change how you look at things – the things you look at change!

I.O.U. – DoWoo #6/365

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Had lunch with a friend while her car was at the mechanics being checked out.  When I returned, I parked and was walking towards the shop when I spotted a Kirby vacuum cleaner in the window. It was sparkly clean with ALL the attachments in their spots along the top ring.  I was compelled to walk in.

images (99)Vacuums and parts everywhere! A wall of accessories and vacuum bags! Hey, I need vacuum bags!  My vacuum is a Tri-Star model, purchased in 1991 (purchased from a dear friend who was selling door to door), and not everyone carries the replacement bags.  Who would have thunk?  The Universe was certainly taking care of me today!

I chatted briefly with the owner and he pulled off the correct bags and handed them to me.  I walked to the counter and opened my purse, asking “You take debit?” He said “No.” I closed my wallet and said that I would need to come back . He asked me how much cash I did have?  I explained I had none (had just paid the cleaning lady the day before with all my cash – LOL).   He paused and then said “You can take them home and pay me later.”

unnamedHe then passed me a square piece of white paper – the size of a sticky note but not sticky – and said, “Just write me an I.O.U. for the bags.” As I wrote out the I.O.U with my name, my number and what I was taking home he said “Some people don’t come back but I know you will.”  I do not recall the last time I wrote an I.O.U. but it felt good to have that connection with a fellow human being I just met.  

What a kind and honest man. Blessings come to us…sometimes when we least expect them.  

I wonder…How did the Universe see me today?  I wonder if I got to be someone’s blessing? 

do wooI looking forward to being observant tomorrow! 

Thank you for stopping by! 

Please do so again (follow button below right) ….
and feel free to share how you were someone’s
blessing today.  I would really love to know!

Carolynn Sokil             @IDoWooDoU      

AWESOME – DoWoo #5/365

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Today was an AWESOME day!  My DoWoos were enjoyed by making extra time for our family.

lightning_stormWe hit record highs – one of the warmest days of the entire summer.   After work we all climbed in the pool and played together. Fridays are family movie nights with homemade pepperoni, bacon, mushroom, garlic and extra cheese pizza! We just finished watching the movie when the thunder & lightening storm came through in full force.

Greg and I stood at the front door watching the lightening brighten the entire street. He said “That was so cool“.  It’s a “regular natural firework show!”   How very apt.  How very enjoyable. I paused and just allowed.  Wonderful observations. 

No1-trimmedI want to say thank you to the Universal Source for all my blessings today, with my family being #1.  Everything is truly “Awesome”! 

I looking forward to learning more tomorrow! 

Thank you for stopping by! 

Please do so again (follow button below) ….and remember to share how YOU
DoWoo’d today.  I would really love to know!

Carolynn Sokil             @IDoWooDoU      

Drama – DoWoo #4/365

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Our son is 9.  He is our joy and, in many instances, our inspiration – truly an observation here! Since this is the second time I’ve mentioned him in four days…I’m observing that you may find him involved in many of my DoWoos as they unfold throughout this year.

blog-0982085001359753412Greg came home from walking his dog after school this afternoon.   “How was she?” I asked.    “OK” he said “but her collar came off when she sat down to scratch her neck. It was a very dramatic moment!”

I could not help the Loud Smile which bubbled up from my core and I burst out laughing.

I asked him if he knew what dramatic meant? “No” he answered.   Interesting…he had delivered this statement with such enthusiasm in his voice!

Turns out he was concerned that while her collar was off, and he was at the T of 2 streets where there is usually more activity, a distraction (anything on wheels) could have come by and the dog would have been gone.  He understood enough to use the word to describe the moment.

Love it! 

do wooI looking forward to learning more tomorrow! 

Thank you for stopping by! 

Please do so again (follow button below) ….and remember to share how YOU
DoWoo’d today.  I really want to know!

Carolynn Sokil             @IDoWooDoU      

Parent’s Homework on the 2nd day of School – DoWoo #3/365

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images (94)Today I did not DoWoo well.  

I had an opinion about a neighbour…actually about 2 of my neighbours. My husband reminded me I’m not perfect.

Whoa!  Was that an opinion??

science_insectsSo…it’s now after 10:30 at night…and I’m sitting here pondering today, thinking back through the entire day looking for my DoWoo.  I certainly observed numerous areas where I could have been better at observing and releasing having any opinion…and then thank goodness, I found a DoWoo!

phewWhew! 

Our 9 year old came home with what he called “homework” for us today.  The teacher gave us a questionnaire entitled “Introducing…Your Child“.  What a great idea!  Ooops! Slipped into a slight opinion there as well! 

grasshopper up closeThe form starts out by explaining “I would like to know more about your child through your eyes.  The more I know, the better I can tailor an educational and motivational program to fit his or her needs.  Please answer the questions and complete the information below.“

  1. List 5 words that best describes your child’s character. 
  2. What motivates your child?
  3. What are your child’s out of school interests and activities?
  4. How would you rate your child’s study habits? (1-10 with being the lowest score)?
  5. Which academic subject is your child’s best___________ worst___________?
  6. What social skills would you like to see your child develop?
  7. Are there any personal or physical problems that I should know (or conference privately) about?

Wow! Has anyone else had a teacher send this home?

First – I have to observe our son and share information with the teacher without it being an opinion.  Interesting exercise.  

Second – I had the opportunity to explain to our son about my new mission / goal of sharing 365 days of DoWoos – and then got to share an explanation with him about what is the difference. He explained it back to me with his own examples.  Smack on.

Lastly – I observed that our son’s new teacher is special and we look forward to getting to know her throughout our son’s school year.  

do wooI looking forward to practicing more tomorrow! 

Thank you for stopping by! 

Please do so again (follow button below)
….and remember to share how you
DoWoo’d today.  I really want to know!

Carolynn Sokil             @IDoWooDoU      

 

Dirty versus Clean Laundry – DoWoo #2/365

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Went to my mom’s apartment this morning to accompany her to an appointment. Upon my arrival I noticed her bed had been stripped.  She mentioned the Personal Support Worker had left the dirty linen in the spare washroom. I opened the door and found the soiled linen folded neatly in a hamper.  I asked whether this was clean or dirty? She said dirty.

Folded-Clothes-1822623Hmmm – Why did she fold the dirty linens?  Why place them so neatly into the laundry hamper? Why did she not just put them in the washing machine? It would probably have taken less time than it took to fold them so neatly. 

THIS is not an example of a DoWoo.  

I definitely observed but then I had an opinion. 

Readjust! 

In putting everything through the laundry – 2 separate loads – I ran into another load which was in the dryer – dry but not yet removed.  I thought to myself, whatever the case is, this person should arrive to find their clean laundry in a good space. 

I pulled the clothes out of the laundry and folded everything: matching the socks and tucking them into themselves; buttoning the tops and then folding them like they do in the stores. I hoped the person was ok with me taking her laundry out of the dryer to use it. 

2014-09-02 22.34.26I came back about an hour later to find a florescent green sticky note stuck to the front of the dryer. It read: “Sorry for the inconvenience! But thanks for the super neat folding job. Ursula“

DoWoo!
Daily Observations With Out Opinion!

Turns out my DoWoo worked well for the clean laundry…just not so well for the dirty. 

do wooLooking forward to practicing more tomorrow! 

Thank you for stopping by!

Please do so again….and remember to share how you DoWoo’d today. 

Carolynn Sokil             @IDoWooDoU      

I Do Woo; Do U? 1/365

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young_earthI am perceived, from what I’ve been told, as a positive person. Some have even said that I can be over the top positive. However…that said, I admit wholeheartedly, I am fallible.

I experience thoughts of annoyance with others.  Whether it be “Why would you do that?” or “What were you thinking?” or even “Why don’t you do that differently?”.  Bottom line:  I have allowed myself to feel annoyance with others.

20130214045713!Rarity_is_annoyed_S1E14What is annoyance? It is defined as something which causes feelings of slight anger or irritation.  Based upon the word annoy which is to disturb or bother (a person) in a way that displeases, troubles or slightly irritates.  A few synonyms: aggravate, irritate, bother bug, chafe, exasperate. 

Upon reflection: to be annoyed is a negative emotion which benefits absolutely no-one!

annoyedWhy DO we do this? In my  case I believe it may be my ego talking – saying I perceive myself to be better than another – having a misguided opinion of grandeur. What was I thinking?

Being annoyed is of no positive use and in actual fact can be harmful to the one who is being annoyed. Negative energy can alter your body at the cellular level – why not give yourself all the help you can – Be Positive! 

So…what can we do?

What will I do? 

I choose to readjust who I am so I may remove this negative reaction from my existence – or at the very least become more aware so I may minimize its effect on myself and how I interact with others around me.   

I believe in all things we are firstly unaware and incompetent. Once we realize something we can now consider ourselves aware but we remain incompetent until something changes.  We then work towards altering what we know or do by learning a skill to alter the outcome – resulting in us being aware and eventually competent at whatever we have chosen to shift. Then, once we say or do something enough times (repetition/practice) we remain competent but have now shifted to doing, saying, being it automatically – unaware.

competency2

So…the million dollar question is “how” do I shift from being incompetent and aware to being competent and aware – releasing annoyance and frustration?  I need to practice being content and satisfied.  

DoWoo!

No-Opinion-Icon-for-picks-fanpop-343698_130_130download (36) My new daily mantra “I choose to live in observation, without opinion, in perfect harmony with Universal Mind.” Daily Observations With Out Opinion!

For all my followers…current and new, I am making a promise (and I always keep my promises) to blog for the next 365 days about this journey of self discovery; a shift in who I am working towards – who I envision myself to be!

do wooDoWoos for September 1st, 2014

  • Recognized and thanked my husband for sharing the end result with me and then going back to fill in the details – a request I made to him which allows me to fully concentrate on the news he is sharing. 
  • Our dog Mya has a strong desire to get us to understand what she wants and persistently attempts, in any way possible, to get her message across.
  • I do not judge myself for what I have not done up until now; I look at myself for what I am doing today! 

Special thanks (Mahalo!) goes out to Mark & Davene Januszewski who run the Master Key class which has provided much of the inspiration for my journey.  For more information on what this class offers, and to reserve an option for an upcoming scholarship, please check out the Master Key Experience details here.  

Thank you for stopping by.  

Carolynn Sokil                                   @IDoWooDoU                              DoWoo@LoudSmiles.com